Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

I don’t know about the rest of ya’ll, but we here at the Southern Command have just spend the last few weeks trying to UNBURY the whole base from of all things…….

KORRIOTH: Tribbles?

SG RAYEGUN: No you knucklehead, not tribbles!

K’HADIBAK’H: The hangover of the century from Romulan Ale?

SG RAYEGUN: You wish, ya perpetual drunkard!

MERLIN: Taxes?

SG RAYEGUN: No, but I’ll get back to you on that one this Thursday AFTER I’ve mailed in my check.

No folks, quite literally the whole base has been buried either under a blanket of that lovely limon-yellow (yes, that was intentional) substance called oak pollen or the OTHER lovely discharge from the oak tree we here call “oak tag”.  Word of advance, DO NOT attempt to wash the General’s official conveyance (or any vehicle for that matter) when either of the oak snot is being discharged.  It’s just a waste of water.

We’re still kicking down here at the Southern Command.  Mrs. General Rayegun is insisting that a larger portion of the base’s annual budget needs to be spent on “weapons of a strong defense” and given the carcinogenic eminations being spewn on the entire country from that Hell-hole called Washington D.C. there are some serious considerations being investigated by the base planners.  As well as increasing the amount of personal protection both the Generalette and myself have made available to us.  Poste haste no less.

Here are the random firings of the neurons for the day:

• Continue to pray for the families of the miner’s in West Virginia, their grief cannot be overlooked.
• Hitlary + SCOTUS = Babylon on American soil (thankfully this will not happen)
• So nearly 50% of Americans didn’t pay anything to the IRS in 2009, yet somehow the all-knowing, ever-benevolent (*cough cough gag gag*) goverment wants to ADD SIXTEEN THOUSAND IRS AGENTS just for the express purpose of auditing us to be sure we’re enjoying ObamaCare(lessly)??  I’ve said it once, I’ll say it again — Get the fark outta my wallet Washington!
• The more we read about it, the more everyone here on base wants to see a flat tax (of no more than 15%) be enacted NOW.  It’s waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyy past time to get rid of the 80,000+ pages of bloat and corruption called the Federal Tax Code.
• Finally, yes Washington CHARACTER DOES MATTER.  And no, we do not want to have ANYTHING to do with a SOCIALIST DEMOCRACY…..WE THE PEOPLE prefer our CONSTITUTIONAL REPUBLIC and WE THE PEOPLE will be taking it back real soon now.  Ya hear?!!!!!

ThatIsAll™

Big whoop, Andy Stearn is likely going to resign soon.  The only thing that is going to change is the desk nameplate.  He’s not going to be stopped at the White House gates, AAMOF I’m fairly certain he’s giving up the cushy union president job for something INSIDE 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.  And something less than 3 doors down from the Oval Office.

That or he’s going to join his buddy Van Jones over at the Soros Institute for Fundamentally Transforming America (into something that 76% of us DO NOT WANT), aka the Center for American Progress (no, I absolutely REFUSE to provide a link to that place so you’re just going to have to get there on your own).  Progress, my fat, white arse.  Turning MY America into a socialist democracy ain’t “progress” no matter how you measure it.

Cronyism…alive and well inside the federal government for the next 3 years.  Or less, we can hope.

Denizens, it’s come to my attention that certain instances of IE were not displaying This Fine Blog&#153 correctly – IOW, the posts were appearing below the right sidebar, f’rinstance.

Your assignment (and this goes for all you non-libtard visitors, as well – register on the site if you need to) is as follows:&#160 Tell me how it looks on your browser (and (duh) lemme know what you’re using).&#160 Does everything look in place – IOW, are the posts in the middle under the banner; do the sidebars look okay; is the “Local Time Where You’re At” caption underneath the clock, instead of to the side, etc?

Lemme know.&#160 And thanks.

The Dullest Moaning Snooze&#160 is giving itself a pat on the back for winning a Pulitzer.

The Dallas Morning News today won the 2010 Pulitzer Prize for editorial writing for its “relentless editorials deploring the stark social and economic disparity between the city’s better-off northern half and distressed southern half.”

Robert W. Mong Jr., editor of The News, hailed the project, now in its third year, as a towering example of sustained reporting on a subject.

“Very few newspaper projects go beyond one year,” Mong said. “This one will continue. It has been an extremely ambitious, substantive project that’s beginning to get a lot of results.”

Translation:&#160 they’re trying to shame North Dallas into redistributing some of its money down south.

Given that:&#160 1) that whole series was nothing more than a “waaaaaaaah!” piece about North Dallas was just a bunch of racist good ol’ boys, and how po’ ol’ Sout’ Dalla’ couldn’t buy a break (never mind that former-mayor-now-turned-convict Don Hill bought fuckin’ plenty&#160 of breaks for himself South Dallas) and 2) the excuse-for-a-paper keeps hemorrhaging readership at a substantial rate, this just goes to show that Pulitzers are about as valuable nowadays as Nobel peace prizes.

Except they don’t pay as much.

As Denizens, your homework assignment for today is to read this treatise from Cortillaen.

One hellacious idea – those suckling from the government teat lose the right to vote.

As Cortillaen himself stated in this comment on the Rott:

In one fell swoop, the statists would find themselves forced to argue their ideas on the merits instead of bribing a bloc of their voters, and that is an argument the statists would lose.

Was kinda wondering, Denizens, what I was going to do for tonight’s entry.

Y’see, Mrs. Venomous has me…hanging curtains.&#160 (Don’t laugh.&#160 Our bunk is on the top floor of our loft, and we’ve got a couple of Gen-Y pussies back behind us that have no qualms about walking by our windows to get to their own loft.&#160 (Long story.&#160 Short version is, these curtains are needed in the Worst Way&#153.))

So I go to check email – and lo & behold, LC Rurik of the Rott has taken care of it for me.

Enjoy.

You Stupid Bastard! You cheated on Sandra Bullock?

How in the world can you be so stupid? You are married to one of the most beautiful women in the world; she has a body to die for, and her current wealth and predicted wealth is shadowed only by Oprah, who even Steadman will tell you, isn’t attractive.

But your wife, who recently beat out Julia Roberts in the polls and is now the named “America’s sweetheart”; you also remember she just won an Oscar (which translates to more money per picture she makes in the future)…while you were shacking with that tattooed freak, who just happens to be a former stripper and is someone’s mommy.

You are really a piece of work! You are the most hated asshole cheater on the planet! And while the State of California is a no-fault state whereby you may be able to take half of your wife’s wealth, in doing so you would only be hated even more…especially after Sandra speech during the Oscars in which she did nothing but praise you. How can you live with yourself after she even cared for your children?

I only have one thing to say to a despicable, miserable, cheating piece of crap that you are:

Thank You!
You really helped to take the heat off of of me. Lets do lunch sometime and compare notes.

~Tiger Woods

All together now:&#160

(Via the Business Insider, via Redstate off a buzzworthy link from Michelle.)

In a move that should surprise absolutely no one – given that a huge-assed humiliating defeat was staring the Pussified Pro-Abort Porker&#153 square in his fugly face – Bartleby Stupid has decided to cut and run.

Rep. Bart Stupak plans to announce his retirement today, top Democrats briefed on his decision say.

In other words, “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin”.

Was it worth it, Bartleby?&#160 I mean, the GOP is going to take over Congress, and either repeal BambiCare outright, or possibly defund it – and you will have gotten nothing, and federally-funded baby-butchering will become the law of the land.

And as if that weren’t enough – and, Bah Gawd&#153 don’tcha think it oughta be? – you will forever be known in history as one of the most cowardly Congresscritters ever.

Or, as Doug Ross so succinctly put it:

Brave Sir Stupak ran away. Bravely ran away, away.
When a tough vote reared its ugly head, He bravely turned his tail and fled.
Yes Brave Sir Stupak turned about, He gallantly chickened out.

Whoo-hoo!!!!!&#160

Didn’t get home until mid-evening, Denizens.&#160 (Overtime’ll do that to you.)

Check back tomorrow – when I shall extoll the virtues of the homemade taco salad…

The Sibling Unit&#153 sends me this one:

“Dear Lord,

This past year you have taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite angel, Farrah Fawcett, my favorite singer, Michael Jackson and my favorite salesman, Billy Mays.

I just wanted to let you know, God, that Barrack Obama is my favorite President. Amen.”

Mheh.&#160

Last year, Bambi got his skanky little ass ab-so-friggin’-lutely roasted&#160 at Major League Baseball’s All-Star because – well – he throws like a fucking girl.

MERLIN:&#160 Isn’t that a little offensive to, y’know, girls?

VENOMOUS:&#160 What of it?&#160 Here, have a look for yerself.

MERLIN:&#160 Ew.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Gross.

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 The p’tahk.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Damn.&#160 Just, damn.

So you’d think he’d bone up on his delivery, right?&#160 I mean, he’s got time to be doing March Madness brackets, piss off our allies and make an embarrassment of himself in general, right?

Here (s)he is at Opening Day yesterday for the Washington Nationals’ game against the Philadelphia Phillies:

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Oh.&#160 My.&#160 Gawd.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Great.&#160 Honkin’.&#160 Cthulu.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Pathetic.

MERLIN:&#160 Didn’t learn much from last year, did he?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Sad thing is that he was probably the best pitcher for the Nationals yesterday.&#160 Phillies destroyed ’em, 11-1.

RAYEGUN:&#160 That’s Washington for ya.&#160 First in war, first in peace…

ALL:&#160 …last in the National League.&#160

There is nothing to say here, at least not that is appropriate. Read this, and remember that there is an election coming up.

(Hat tip to the beautiful & talented Michelle.)

So help me Cthulu, I would Damned Near Pay Real Money&#153 if these pussies would try this in Texas.

A group of homeless people and housing activists took over a privately owned Mission District duplex on Sunday in what served as the climax of a protest designed to promote use of San Francisco’s vacant buildings as shelters for the needy.

But the owner of the property – who was targeted over his eviction of a tenant – said the demonstration was nothing more than breaking and entering.

“It’s not actually vacant. I use it for my own personal uses,” Ara Tehlirian of Daly City said in an interview, adding that he was in contact with the San Francisco Police Department. “I know nothing other than my property was apparently broken into.”

But that’s not the half of it, Denizens.

When the police were called, they did exactly…dick.

More than a dozen police officers were on hand, most standing on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. Asked earlier whether they would take action if protesters occupied the property, officers declined to comment. One said, “We’ll see.”

By 3 p.m., all had left but one, who stayed to ensure that “nobody is out of hand,” said a police official, Sgt. William Escobar. No arrests had been made.

Memo to you “Homes Not Jails” douchebag cowards out in San Transexual.

Come here to Texas and try to pull that shit.&#160 I guar-an-fuckin’-damn-tee&#160 you that none of you will survive the attempt.

We have answers for chickenshits like you, and they come in various calibers, IYKWIMAITYD.

Now on the first day of the week Mary Magdalene came early to the tomb, while it was still dark, and saw the stone already taken away from the tomb.

So she ran and came to Simon Peter and to the other disciple whom Jesus loved, and said to them, “They have taken away the Lord out of the tomb, and we do not know where they have laid Him.”

So Peter and the other disciple went forth, and they were going to the tomb.

The two were running together; and the other disciple ran ahead faster than Peter and came to the tomb first;

and stooping and looking in, he saw the linen wrappings lying there; but he did not go in.

And so Simon Peter also came, following him, and entered the tomb; and he saw the linen wrappings lying there,

and the face-cloth which had been on His head, not lying with the linen wrappings, but rolled up in a place by itself.

So the other disciple who had first come to the tomb then also entered, and he saw and believed.

For as yet they did not understand the Scripture, that He must rise again from the dead.

So the disciples went away again (N)to their own homes.

But Mary was standing outside the tomb weeping; and so, as she wept, she stooped and looked into the tomb;

and she saw two angels in white sitting, one at the head and one at the feet, where the body of Jesus had been lying.

And they said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping?” She said to them, “Because they have taken away my Lord, and I do not know where they have laid Him.”

When she had said this, she turned around and saw Jesus standing there, and did not know that it was Jesus.

Jesus said to her, “Woman, why are you weeping? Whom are you seeking?” Supposing Him to be the gardener, she said to Him, “Sir, if you have carried Him away, tell me where you have laid Him, and I will take Him away.”

Jesus said to her, “Mary!” She turned and said to Him in Hebrew, “Rabboni!” (which means, Teacher).

Jesus said to her, “Stop clinging to Me, for I have not yet ascended to the Father; but go to My brethren and say to them, ‘I ascend to My Father and your Father, and My God and your God.'”

Mary Magdalene came, (AB)announcing to the disciples, “I have seen the Lord,” and that He had said these things to her.

So when it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and when the doors were shut where the disciples were, for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood in their midst and said to them, “Peace be with you.”

And when He had said this, He showed them both His hands and His side The disciples then rejoiced when they saw the Lord.

So Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you; as the Father has sent Me, I also send you.”

And when He had said this, He breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit.

“If you forgive the sins of any, their sins have been forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they have been retained.”

But Thomas, one of the twelve, called Didymus, was not with them when Jesus came.

So the other disciples were saying to him, “We have seen the Lord!” But he said to them, “Unless I see in His hands the imprint of the nails, and put my finger into the place of the nails, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe.”

After eight days His disciples were again inside, and Thomas with them. Jesus came, the doors having been shut, and stood in their midst and said, “Peace be with you.”

Then He said to Thomas, “Reach here with your finger, and see My hands; and reach here your hand and put it into My side; and do not be unbelieving, but believing.”

Thomas answered and said to Him, “My Lord and my God!”

Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed.”

John 20:1-29

And may God once again add His blessings to the reading of His word.

As I tell you every year around this time Denizens:&#160 Screw the colored eggs & bunny rabbits.&#160 It’s not about those, and never has been.

Christ is risen.&#160 Hallelujah!

So he then handed Him over to them to be crucified.

They took Jesus, therefore, and He went out, bearing His own cross, to the place called the Place of a Skull, which is called in Hebrew, Golgotha.

There they crucified Him, and with Him two other men, one on either side, and Jesus in between.

Pilate also wrote an inscription and put it on the cross. It was written, “JESUS THE NAZARENE, THE KING OF THE JEWS.”

Therefore many of the Jews read this inscription, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city; and it was written in Hebrew, Latin and in Greek.

So the chief priests of the Jews were saying to Pilate, “Do not write, ‘The King of the Jews’; but that He said, ‘I am King of the Jews.'”

Pilate answered, “What I have written I have written.”

Then the soldiers, when they had crucified Jesus, took His outer garments and made four parts, a part to every soldier and also the tunic; now the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece.

So they said to one another, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it, to decide whose it shall be”; this was to fulfill the Scripture: “THEY DIVIDED MY OUTER GARMENTS AMONG THEM, AND FOR MY CLOTHING THEY CAST LOTS.”

Therefore the soldiers did these things. But standing by the cross of Jesus were His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.

When Jesus then saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing nearby, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold, your son!”

Then He said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” From that hour the disciple took her into his own household.

After this, Jesus, knowing that all things had already been accomplished, to fulfill the Scripture, said, “I am thirsty.”

A jar full of sour wine was standing there; so they put a sponge full of the sour wine upon a branch of hyssop and brought it up to His mouth.

Therefore when Jesus had received the sour wine, He said, “It is finished!” And He bowed His head and gave up His spirit.

Care of the Body of Jesus
————————-

Then the Jews, because it was the day of preparation, so that the bodies would not remain on the cross on the Sabbath that Sabbath was a high day), asked Pilate that their legs might be broken, and that they might be taken away.

So the soldiers came, and broke the legs of the first man and of the other who was crucified with Him;

but coming to Jesus, when they saw that He was already dead, they did not break His legs.

But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and immediately blood and water came out.

And he who has seen has testified, and his testimony is true; and he knows that he is telling the truth, so that you also may believe.

For these things came to pass to fulfill the Scripture, “NOT A BONE OF HIM SHALL BE BROKEN.”

And again another Scripture says, “THEY SHALL LOOK ON HIM WHOM THEY PIERCED.”

After these things Joseph of Arimathea, being a disciple of Jesus, but a secret one for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus; and Pilate granted permission. So he came and took away His body.

Nicodemus, who had first come to Him by night, also came, bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about a hundred pounds weight.

So they took the body of Jesus and bound it in linen wrappings with the spices, as is the burial custom of the Jews.

Now in the place where He was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid.

Therefore because of the Jewish day of preparation, since the tomb was nearby, they laid Jesus there.

—John 19:16-42

And may God add His blessings to the reading of His word.

If you’ve never seen The Passion of the Christ, I’d encourage you to go rent it.&#160 Then watch it without breaking down into tears.

Fear not, though.&#160 Sunday’s coming.

Luke 23:26-49

²⁶As they led him away, they seized Simon from Cyrene, who was on his way in from the country, and put the cross on him and made him carry it behind Jesus. ²⁷A large number of people followed him, including women who mourned and wailed for him. ²⁸Jesus turned and said to them, “Daughters of Jerusalem, do not weep for me; weep for yourselves and for your children. ²⁹For the time will come when you will say, ‘Blessed are the barren women, the wombs that never bore and the breasts that never nursed!’ ³⁰Then
” ‘they will say to the mountains, “Fall on us!”
and to the hills, “Cover us!” ³¹For if men do these things when the tree is green, what will happen when it is dry?”

³²Two other men, both criminals, were also led out with him to be executed. ³³When they came to the place called the Skull, there they crucified him, along with the criminals—one on his right, the other on his left. ³⁴Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” And they divided up his clothes by casting lots.

³⁵The people stood watching, and the rulers even sneered at him. They said, “He saved others; let him save himself if he is the Christ of God, the Chosen One.”

³⁶The soldiers also came up and mocked him. They offered him wine vinegar ³⁷and said, “If you are the king of the Jews, save yourself.”

³⁸There was a written notice above him, which read:|sc THIS IS THE KING OF THE JEWS.

³⁹One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Christ? Save yourself and us!”

⁴⁰But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? ⁴¹We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”

⁴²Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”

⁴³Jesus answered him, “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise.”

⁴⁴It was now about the sixth hour, and darkness came over the whole land until the ninth hour, ⁴⁵for the sun stopped shining. And the curtain of the temple was torn in two. ⁴⁶Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” When he had said this, he breathed his last.

⁴⁷The centurion, seeing what had happened, praised God and said, “Surely this was a righteous man.” ⁴⁸When all the people who had gathered to witness this sight saw what took place, they beat their breasts and went away. ⁴⁹But all those who knew him, including the women who had followed him from Galilee, stood at a distance, watching these things.