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[SCENE:  Unknown.  A black, empty, seemingly lifeless void in space.

Well, not completely  lifeless.  As we pan (not easy to do, as everything appears black), a prone, hooded figure appears, motionless, on the ground, as if in a spotlight.  (No, we don’t know where the spotlight is coming from – let’s not go there, ‘k?)

After a couple of beats, the figure stirs, groaning in pain that seemingly racks its entire body.]

HOODED FIGURE:  Unnnhhh…uhhhh…damn.  I do  hope someone got the license plate of that battlecruiser…ow.

[The hooded figure rises to a kneeling position, shakes its head a couple of time, then removes the hood to reveal Lord Darth Venomous, who was previously thought to have been killed in the destruction of the ISS Titanic.  He looks left, then right, not seeing much.]

VENOMOUS:  Well, if this is my own personal Nexus, where the hell is Miss CJ Miles and the rest  of my Asian hookers…?

(NOTE TO READERS:  That’s a personal dig at Mrs. Venomous, FYI.  Fortunately, she’s at home and I’m here in this…wherever it is…so she can’t kabong me.    )

[Some sort of bright light flips on behind Lord Venomous.  He whirls around to look, and blanches.]

VENOMOUS:  What the…oh, shit.

[Not a drop of blood remains in His Rudeness' face as he reads the sign.]


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VENOMOUS (muttering bitterly):  “Welcome to Hell.  How do  you like it?”

Yes, Denizens.  After years of resisting temptation, I’m now officially on Facebook.  Come find me & friend me.  (Hint:  There are apparently two (I knew  I shoulda trademarked it); I will be the one of Palpatine shooting purple Force lightning.)

Or not, I don’t care.

Thanks for reading the Death of the ISS Titanic  series.  Will have another mini-vignette for you soon.  And some  Klingons & union-types had best  watch their backs… 

3 Comments to “Death of the ISS Titanic:  Facebook Hell”

  1. David Hartung — May 17, 2011 @ 12:42 pm

    Which account are you using? The one named Darth Venomous, or the one with your more vanilla alter ego who graduated from some podunk high school called Arlington Heights? :) Or maybe you will use them both?

  2. LC Purple Raider — May 17, 2011 @ 1:44 pm

    Just remember a certain small college compadre..

  3. Darth Venomous — May 17, 2011 @ 10:10 pm

    or the one with your more vanilla alter ego who graduated from some podunk high school called Arlington Heights?

    I’ll have you know that “podunk high school” went all the way to the state semifinal in basketball this past year! 

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