(Yeah, it’s a rerun of a rerun of a rerun.  Of a rerun.  Et cetera, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.  Bite Sue me, mkay?  I’m busy cooking. )
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I first penned (penned?) this screed (g) on 11/17/01.  I thought it appropriate then (and still do), it being Thanksgiving and all, to jot down a list of those things for which I was thankful.  This year the tradition continues, below the fold, as usual with only a few minor tweaks to keep things current:
First of all, let me once again apologize for not blogging as much as I wish I could.  Ideally, I’d be cranking out two or three posts a day.  There’s certainly that much going on in the world, and it tears at my gut to be missing the opportunities to write about these things.  Pains me even more to think that you, the Denizens, are missing out on most of My Eternal Wisdom™. 
The fact is that I simply have not had time to do one of the things that I enjoy more than I ever thought I would – writing.  I never for a moment, sitting in my first ever English Composition college class twenty-five years ago, taught by a guy I believed to be an idiot, thought that I would ever come to the point that I actually got a kick out of slapping thoughts on page.
Amazing how things change.
But, I digress.  There’s not been enough time.  There’s never  been enough time, but that’s beside the point.  I’ve been swamped at work, and that’s when I’m not trying to renew a certification.  This is taking me away from the chores I need to be doing – keeping the house clean, doing the laundry in a timely fashion, cleaning the kitchen, picking up dog crap off the carpet, those sorts of things.  Plus, there’s the chore of moving, which (for this year, anyway) means squeezing three bedrooms full o’ stuff that was already packed into two bedrooms, and trying to fit it all into a one-bedroom apartment.  And when I do finally get around to those things, they keep me from doing stuff I like to do – like surfing the Web and writing these columns.
Which brings me around to the topic at hand.  Thanksgiving’s today, and it’s a good time to kick back and tick off the things for which your obdt.  svt.  (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) is thankful:
God.  The God of the Bible.  The God of Abraham, Issac, Jacob, David and Solomon.  That  God.  Not Allah, not Muhammad, not Cthulu, not crystals and/or chakras and/or trees.  God.  Too damned few of us show our Creator too damned little appreciation for everything He’s given us, and do trust me when I tell you that that little tidbit has not  escaped His attention.
His Son, the Lord Jesus Christ, and the work He performed on the cross that allowed me to receive His salvation.  (An aside:  Yeah, in case anyone didn’t know – I’m a Christian.  Not anywhere close to being the best example thereof, to be sure, but I’m still being worked on, and you’re just gonna have to be patient. (grin))
Being an American, and free to worship as I choose.  For now, given whom the morons of this country just put into office.
My wife, Mrs. Venomous.  Yes, Denizens, I haven’t really mentioned it all that much this pas year, given my track record with such pronouncements (rueful grin) – but it’s once more through the marriage breach, dear friends.  That’s five now – yes, it does pain me to say that – and So Help Me Cthulu™, this is the last one, forever & ever, a-freakin’-men.  But this one has convinced me that the institution of marriage really is a Good Thing™ – she cares for me more than the other four combined.  (No offense intended, D.)
My current home – a one-story, one-bedroom jobber I share with the aforementioned Mrs, a chow/terrier and a huge lump of muscle & energy in the shape of a collie/sheltie mix.  Not the cozy cottage in Forney, but at least I have an office again from which to pen (pen?) these screeds.
My son – Stephen Geoffrey “Skip” Crager, Jr.  (although his doublewide-assed mother insists on calling him “Geoffrey”).  Even though I haven’t seen you since 2003, Skip, I still love you.  Always will.  Always remember that.
Friends & family, some more than others.  Even the ones who are diametrically opposed to me in their beliefs.
And while I’m thinking about it – and I should have really mentioned this last year, too – my sister in law.  My brother, heretofore doomed to a lifetime of Eternal Bachelorhood™ – not necessarily a Bad Thing™, given his sibling’s aforementioned catastrophic track record – was pulled from that abyss by a wonderful woman he met only a couple of years prior.  They celebrated their first anniversary back in August, and while it hasn’t been Easy Street™ for them, they’re doing better than okay.
Employment.  Specifically, mine as a desktop technician, where I get to play with computers all day long – in effect, getting paid to practice my hobby.
(Thankfully, I’ve had a full-time gig since 2006, for a company known to me and only to me – since I know pussies like Cianderella Tierney, who bitched long and loud about me being a NetKKKop before having his ass exposed as a lying skank that doesn’t work at EDS, would love to find out where I work and try to get me fired…)
Okay, where was I…?
MP3s.  The ability to take all my all-time favorite songs, regardless of format, and transfer them to something I can listen to in my car.  Fuck you,  Hilary Rosen.
Turkey.  Lots of it, preferably drumsticks.
Leftovers.  Turkey sammiches with lots of mustard.  YEAH!
(Well, hold the bread on that.  I have got to-got to-got to start paying more attention to Atkins.)
An American President who, though he is still not completely trustworthy in my eye, is at least giving the impression that he is, at least, trying – which is a damn sight better than what we could have had, hm?  And at least this guy understands that the Presidency isn’t just one big frat party.  (This will be crossed out at least until 2012.)
The military which he commands.  Peepz, these men & women do a helluva job protecting you and yours and the freedoms you enjoy, and they do it for pretty much next-to-nothing.  Next time you see one, take a moment to say, “Thank you”.  (Another aside:  When I first posted this, I left out one very important group of guys:  the Coast Guard.  Unconscionable, since one of my readers served in that very branch.  Mr. Slagle, my apologies – and my thanks.)
My car:  A 2007 Chevy Cobalt.  Quick, cozy, and twice the gas mileage of my old truck.  In this day and age, that’s important.  For $10 more per month, I get all that, plus a 5/50 warranty.  Good stuff, that.
A seafood restaurant chain here locally by the name of “Ole Whiskers”.  Catfish, chicken, ribs, stuffed crab, onion rings, and a host of other great stuff.  Catfish topped with Tabasco© sauce has become a staple.
My current box – a Pentium 2.66-GHz with 2 gigs of DDR RAM an Acer Aspire with eight gigs of RAM.  Two 21″ monitors so that I don’t have to squint anymore when I write these things.  (Well, not much, anyway – at 1280×1024, things are still awfully small.)
The aforementioned crap-on-the-carpet dogs – she’s still a precious little lapdog, and she captures the heart of anyone that meets her.  The aforementioned collie mix – a whirling dervish that tears everything up, but he has an infectious personality.  Even my brother’s little min-pin and dachsund, Mindy & Demi respectively – two of the most affectionate dogs you’ll ever see.
Ham.  Not as much as a turkey drumstick, but leftover ham does go good with eggs.
Any college football team that severely thrashes the Texas A&M Aggies.  (Not anymore.  Now that they’re rid of Dennis “The Mercenary” Franchione, and they’re getting their heads handed them on a weekly basis, it’s probably more appropos to pity them.) (Rescinded until such time as they prove they can beat someone without officiating help.)
Any college football team that severely thrashes Nebraska.  (Not since they hired Bo Pelini, and hopefully never again.)
Any college football team that severely thrashes Miami.
Any college football team that severely thrashes Arkansas.
Any college football team that severely thrashes Texas.  (Unless it’s Arkansas.)
TCU’s Horned Frogs.  After your best job (again) ever last year, Gary Patterson.  You’ve established yourself as one of, if not the  best coaches the program’s ever had.  Do the city of Fort Worth a favor – don’t go all Franchione on us and jilt us for Bama or Notre Dame or somesuch, mkay?
Any college football team that severely thrashes SMUT.
Any college football team that severely thrashes Bastard Smurf-Turf State.  (That’d be you, Boise, and until you can prove that you can win something without having to resort to “trickeration”, that’s the way it’ll stay.  You potato-humping pussies are nothing bur frauds.)
(What with TCU’s win at Boise this year, all – for the moment – is kinda-sorta forgiven.  Let’s not play again for a while, mkay?)
Any pro football team that kicks the crap out of Donna McNabb and the   (He’s not even playing for the ViQueens now, so never mind.)Philthydelphia Beagles Warshington Foreskins – something the Cowboys did last year (twice), should have done this year in Warshington, and will do this year in Dallas.
Tony Romo.  Especially if he ever wins a playoff game… (sigh)  (Assuming he can come back in one piece, and can play behind something resembling an offensive line.) (Not until he can win something.)
MERLIN:  Yeah, that line’s offensive, alright.
VENOMOUS:  Hush, you.
MERLIN: 
Jerry Jones – for signing that extension for Romo. (grin) (See above.)
Southern Baptist churches that aren’t afraid to call themselves “Baptist”. (Not since they climbed into bed with the enviro-nutjob movement.  Now it’s any church that unashamedly preaches the Gospel and refuses to compromise with its enemies.)
An occasional road trip – maybe to go fishing, or even if it’s work-related.  I love staying in hotels where I can crank up the AC at night, and not have to worry about the electric bill (grin).
Microsoft.  No, all you morons at the federal judiciary – Bill Gates does not run a monopoly, and you damned well know it.  What he does do is run an extremely successful company, one that you bastards tried to shake down for $$$$, and failed.  It’s not a secret that the tech sector crashed simultaneously with Janet El Reño’s baseless attack against Microsoft.  (Linus Torvalds, and the job he’s done with Linux.)
Spanish-language television channels.  You will not find a better-looking collection of major babes anywhere on Planet Earth.  And they don’t mind letting people know that they’re women either, dammit.  Take that, NOW.  🙂
Mashed potatoes.  With a ton of gravy.  (Atkins be damned on this one.  (grin))
Ranch-style beans™.  (Well, not so much now, seeing as ConAgra Backstabbing Foods has decided to shut down the Fort Worth plant that RSB has called home forever – but it’s still a nice little bean.)
Sweet tea – even though, being a Type II diabetic, I can no longer drink the stuff (make mine Sweet ‘n Low, 3 packets per 40 ounces, please unsweetened, unless it’s peach or cranberry tea, please).
Hooters’ hot wings.  Scenery’s not bad, either. 
Dueling-piano bars.  Picture two baby-grands.  Picture two players with crass senses of humor.  Picture some of the raunchiest lyrics ever conceived – sometimes on the fly.  Picture yourself laughing your ass off.  Try it sometime.
Rush Limbaugh.  Sean Hannity.  Mark Levin.  Glenn Beck (though Levin seems to not like him for some reason).  Michael Savage.  Michael Reagan – and, in case I’ve not mentioned it before…his dad, too.
Ann Coulter.  Michelle Malkin.  Laura Ingraham.  Sigh, yowzah. 
The Blogosphere™.  Specifically, Misha and Alan Henderson – for getting me into this blogging thing.
My new hairstylist.  (Yeah, the old hottie got fired.)  In all my lifetime, I’ve only found three people who could fully understand what I wanted done to my hair, and do it right in a minimum of time:  one retired about 15 years ago.  This one’s just as good as her predecessor – and she’s a major babe, too.  (grin)
Broadband.  Forney didn’t get it on a widespread basis – but I have Verizon FiOS Time Warner Cable AT&T U-verse now, and I rock yet again…(though, as soon as Verizon FiOS comes to Arlington… (grin))
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And finally (though this list is by no means complete) – you Denizens who keep coming back to the site in hopes that I’ve updated it.  Without you guys, why am I doing this?  Thanks very much for being here.
And Happy Thanksgiving.  Remember the Source from whom the blessings originate…
Denizens, this week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend starts out with a game of “What Took You So Fuckin’ Long?”
Five years ago, the National Collegiate Athletic Association – otherwise known as the NatCollAthAsses – banned the use of Injun names (yeah, I said it – you PC-types can shove it) for its member organizations.  Among the universities affected were the U of North Dakota Fighting Sioux.
Back then, the university made noises about taking the AthAsses to court.
Five schools changed or are changing their nickname, including Midwestern State in Wichita Falls, which became the Mustangs. One school was allowed to keep its nickname but was put on a watch list. The University of North Dakota announced that state officials voted to sue the NCAA to keep its Fighting Sioux nickname.
Well, the other day, they found an ally.
GRAND FORKS, N.D., Nov. 1 (UPI) — The Spirit Lake tribe Tuesday sued the NCAA for blocking its attempt to let the University of North Dakota use the sports nickname Fighting Sioux.
Tribal attorney Reed Soderstrom said the lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court challenges the NCAA’s policy banning the use of Native American names and imagery by collegiate athletic teams.
He said the suit against the National Collegiate Athletic Association was brought on behalf of more than 1,004 members of the Standing Rock Sioux Tribe “in direct response to their attempt to take away and prevent the North Dakota Sioux Indians from giving their name forever to the University of North Dakota” despite a tribal vote in 2009 and a “sacred and religious spiritual ceremony” by tribal leaders in 1969 that granted “perpetual use” of the name to the school.
About damned time someone fought back against the PC bullshit.  Said it before, will say it again – who the Hell™ appointed these assholes to be our moral arbiters?
Let’s get to the football before we stuff ourselves silly.  Normally, this being Thursday, there’d be a Heights game – but Killeen took care of that, and I don’t have any other skins in this particular game (Sulphur Springs obligingly declined to be good enough to get past the area round of the playoffs); however, it’s Thanksgiving, so that means Cowboys-Cowboys-Cowboys, buddy (a little SportsRadio 1310-The Ticket lingo, there).
Today, it’s Miami at the Death Star – and, unlike 18 years ago, there’s no snow in the forecast, so there won’t be a repeat of Leon Lett’s blunder.  The Fins won the preseason finale in Miami; however, even though they’re playing better of late, it still shouldn’t be good enough to beat El Choko and the ‘Girlz.
Tomorrow, instead of chucking up a hairball against the Cyclones of Iowa State, 21st-ranked Nebraska will host Iowa’s other  major-college team at Lincoln – that being the Hawkeyes of Iowa.  Iowa hasn’t been great this year, so you’d think this should be a gimme.
Then again, so was Northwestern.
Bo’s boys are a 9½-point favorite at home, so let this one scare you a bit.
Speaking of Iowa State, they’ll be the sacrificial lamb at Norman on Saturday, as Bob Stoops’ ninth-ranked Sooners take their Baylor frustrations out on the Cyclones.  OU’s a 28½-point favorite at Memorial Stadium – this one’s gonna get real ugly, real fast.
Also Saturday, Bucky (having been plugged in for Arlington Heights) will get to feast on Nittany Lion at Camp Randall as Penn State comes calling.  Bucky’s a 15½-point favorite, and the rule is in place – they win, and it’s an automatic PFW, no matter what else happens.  Suffice to say, I like my odds.
In other games, it could be Turner Gill’s swan song as Rock Chalk gets hammered by Mizzou at Arrowhead Stadium in Kansas City.  Honestly, I don’t foresee KU bringing my old friend back for another year, do you?
And TCU is off this week – which is probably good news for BCS-chance killer Ross Evans, as he got himself in a bit of a legal dustup this past week.
TCU kicker Ross Evans faces a misdemeanor charge of criminal trespassing after he kicked in an apartment door while trying to retrieve a cellphone for a friend of a friend, Denton police said Monday.
Been nice knowing you, Mr. Evans.  Patterson should kick your ass off the squad yesterday.
We’re back Monday or so with the recap – Sunday, if I can get over my L-tryptophan hangover by then.  In the meantime…happy Thanksgiving, HDD.
Those of you who have read me for any  length of time – well, you probably knew it was coming all along, didn’t you? – but you know damned well what this is.
For now, click the link.  Go ahead.  Click it.  I effin’ dare  you.
And turn it up.  Waaaaaay  up.    )
That’s right, sportz fanz:  It’s vacation time for His Rudeness™.  A chance to Get Away From It All™, as it were.
Thanks to Bambi & his shitty economy, though, Mrs. Venomous & I are staying in town and not doing a helluva lot, due to the money just not being there.
MRS. VENOMOUS:  Ohhhhhh, don’t worry, sweetie.  We’ll find plenty  of things to do. (wink)
VENOMOUS: 
Vicar, General – you guys have the conn.  General…when you’re done chlorinating the gene pool of Occutards down there in the Southern Command™, could I borrow another squadron of those black helicopters…?