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At Souper Salad this evening (try their red beans & rice sometime; it’s killer), I hear the Ditzy Bints’ Not Ready To Make Nice&#160 come over the speakers.&#160 And the chorus:

Well, I’m not ready to make nice

Not ready to back down

Etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

If memory serves, this was in response to how Toby Keith just abso-freakin’-lutely pwned&#160 them after they didn’t have the stones to bash President Bush here, but had to go overseas to spew their “Just so you know…” line.

And I’m thinking something along the lines of, O RLY, Natalie?&#160 Not ready to admit you & your fellow bimbettes took One Royal Hell&#153 of an ass-whipping, huh?

And just where are they now?

And where is Toby Keith?

I rest my case.&#160 Game, set & friggin’ match

Suck it, Natalie.&#160

Denizens, remember last year when I lamented what it appeared one Destiny Hope “Miley” Cyrus was turning into?

Shame, Miley. Given who your dad is, we out here were hoping you’d spare us a modicum of angst by not becoming a clone of Britney Spears. That you might grow up to be someone we’d want our daughters to emulate – someone wholesome, upright, even pure (relatively speaking, anyway).

Guess we can’t have everything we want in life, huh?

Well, Denizens?&#160 Chalk up yet one more WITY&#153 for Der Spatulameister (hat tip:&#160 411mania):

Miley Cyrus is a “pothead” and apparently she doesn’t care who knows it.

At least that was the “party line” at her private 19th birthday bash last week at the Roosevelt Hotel Beacher’s Madhouse Club in Los Angeles. In a video obtained exclusively by Flash, when Kelly Osbourne presents a cake to Cyrus emblazoned with the face of a ganja icon, the former “Hannah Montana” star cracks, “You know you’re a stoner when friends make you a Bob Marley cake — you know you smoke way too much f***in’ weed.”

[…]

Of late, it seems the former child star has gone to great lengths to distance herself from a clean pop image, including hosting “Saturday Night Live” this year and dissing Disney child actors. Can another “SNL” sketch with dead-on Cyrus impersonator Vanessa Bayer be in the works?

Can a prison career a la&#160 Lindsey “My Breasts Have Been a Big Hit” Lohan be far behind?

On a rerun of the program Gene Simmons Family Jewels, I have just overheard Gene saying he was responsible for developing the careers of the group Pet Shop Boys.

Reaction:&#160 Oh, shit – you mean it’s all his&#160 fault?&#160

(Hat tip:&#160 Drudge, plus a number of tabloids seen whilst shopping for groceries.)

ABC News is reporting this morning (via TMZ) that Kim “Sex Tape Queen” Kardashian, is filing for divorce from former Dallas Maverick Kris Humphries.

According to TMZ, Kardashian’s filing will cite “irreconcilable differences.” TMZ also said that Kardashian has retained the services of Hollywood attorney Laura Wasser, who brokered the divorces of Britney Spears, Mariah Carey and Angelina Jolie.

[…]

Ryan Seacrest, the executive producer of “Keeping Up with the Kardashians,” confirmed the news on Twitter, writing “Yes @kimkardashian is filing for divorce this morning. I touched base with her, getting a statement in just a few mins.”

Kardashian, 31, and Humphries, 26, married on August 20. Their wedding cost a reported $20 million and garnered a multi-episode television special on E!

After only 72 days.&#160 In other words, all the hype leading up to the wedding lasted longer than the marriage itself.

And I thought my last two marriages combined&#160 were short.&#160

Proving once again that she’s good for one thing, and one thing only…

President Obama’s job approval is down with many Americans – but not with Eva Longoria.

{…]

Longoria, who told Kimmel she knows Obama well from her advocacy work on Latino issues, said she took advantage of her time with the President to tell him that he has her support.

“He’s been governing in, like, a state of emergency since the time he went into office,” said Longoria, who added that “we haven’t really seen him do what he can do.”

She also took the opportunity to slam what she called “an extremist movement happening” that threatens to derail the commander-in-chief.

Longoria called the movement “very dangerous because it’s not the character of America.”

The actress didn’t mention the Tea Party by name but when Kimmel asked her specifically about the conservative group she said she can see how it might be “a source for good comedy.”

Yeah, just like we can see how you might be good for – oh, I dunno – porn…?

Cupid Stunt&#153.

(Hat tip:&#160 411 Music.)

Those of you who’ve watched the Amy Winehouse saga like you would watch a bad train wreck, and wondering when her 15 minutes were going to be up…need wonder no further.

“Police were called by London Ambulance Service to an address in Camden Square NW1 shortly before 16.05hrs today, Saturday 23 July, following reports of a woman found deceased.

On arrival officers found the body of a 27-year-old female who was pronounced dead at the scene.

Enquiries continue into the circumstances of the death. At this early stage it is being treated as unexplained.”

Winehouse famously battled addiction to drugs and alcohol and was in and out of rehab several times throughout the years.

Last month, Winehouse canceled her European tour after a performance in Serbia where she seemed completely out of it.

Story developing …

No offense, but this isn’t much of a “story”.&#160 “Burn the candle at both ends” like that (and believe me, that’s putting it nicely), and you eventually run out of candle.&#160 Amy Winehouse simply hit the wall at warp speed, without benefit of an inertial-dampening system.

A waste, and a damned shame.

Denizens, I want y’all to look at this:

Now, apparently, Bea Arthur’s character is suffering from what they call “chronic fatigue syndrome” (something from which the show’s creator, Susan Harris, apparently suffers) – essentially, she’s got a virus, but that’s not dramatic enough, so let’s give it an ominous-sounding name, mkay? – and her doctor is apparently not bending over backwards to make her feel like a po’ widdle pwincess.

So “Dorothy” gives her ex-doc a sanctimonious, self-righteous tongue-lashing in a public place.&#160 Which gets a major response from what is likely a leftard excuse-for-an-audience.

She then goes over and watches mutely (albeit with a shocked, SHOCKED&#160 expression on her face) as Estelle Getty’s character essentially pulls a con on the restaurant manager to get a free, high-class meal.&#160 Again, to the delirious approval of the audience.

So, essentially, Susan Harris is lampooning about the (lack of) morality of an allegedly-uncaring doctor…then demonstrating her own lack of morality by having her characters con an expensive restaurant (and apparently giving her approval over it).

And the audience just laps it up.

And then we all wonder why this country’s going to hell in a handbasket.

Is it just me, or does anyone else think Justin Bieber is just a liiiiiiiiiiiittle too young to be writing an autobiography?

Maybe Detroit isn’t such a worthless town after all.

Behold Chuckles Sheen in all his…uh…”glory”…at the opening of his so-called “Violent Torpedo of Truth” tour in the Motor City.

Yeah, that’s the ticket.&#160

Reportedly, he did better in Shit-caca…but then, that’s Shit-caca, Ill-noise for you.

Save yourself from this&#160 one, “Warlock”.&#160

How high has Carlos “Charlie Sheen” Estevez jumped his personal shark?

Even his publicist can’t take any more.

Veteran Hollywood publicist Stan Rosenfield, who represented Charlie Sheen through the actor’s rehab attempts and breakup with his employers on the hit sitcom “Two and a Half Men,” abruptly resigned on Monday.

“I have worked with Charlie Sheen for a long time and I care about him very much,” Rosenfield wrote in a brief statement. “However, at this time, I’m unable to work effectively as his publicist and have respectfully resigned.” In a follow-up e-mail, Rosenfield said he had represented Sheen for at least seven years.

The move came on the same day that Sheen turned up in another round of interviews on ABC, NBC, TMZ and elsewhere, attacking everyone from CBS to his father, former “The West Wing” star Martin Sheen. Since CBS and Warner Bros. decided last week to halt production on “Two and a Half Men” after Sheen attacked his boss, Chuck Lorre, the actor has gone on a manic round of media interviews.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn.

Just an idle thought here:&#160 Five’ll get you ten he started with pot. y’think?

Just sayin’.

(Hat tip to Doug Powers from over at Michelle’s site.)

Paul McCartney is going senile.

At a Whine House (no, no typo) function – and GollyGeeWhiz&#153, isn’t it nice how Bambi can play golf, take Memorial Day vacations in Shitcago and party-hardy while beaches along the Gulf Coast are awash in the residue of his oil spill? – He Who Got His Ass Whipped By A One-Legged Woman&#153 couldn’t help but try his own little dogpile on the last real&#160 President we had:

A sweet moment, but McCartney topped it off with a bite. After thanking the Library of Congress one last time, he let it rip: “After the last eight years, it’s good to have a president that knows what a library is.”

Really, McMoron?&#160 ‘Zat so, Paula?

Guess you’ve forgotten that President Bush attended both Harvard and&#160 Yale.&#160 And, unlike your honey boy Jugears McHopenchange, Bush hasn’t gone to the ends of the earth to hide his&#160 transcripts.

Guess you’ve also&#160 forgotten that Bush is married&#160 to a librarian.&#160 Haven’t you, you little tossing dumb-arse (a little British slang lingo, there)?

At least Bush had more intelligence than to let his wife screech with him in his post-Beatle days (*cough*Wings*cough*), huh?

Take your ass back across the pond, Paula, you little pissweasel.&#160 Bambi needs to “Get Back” to work.

The Department of Wasted Oxygen brings us this report on how the former Mr. Madonna Louise Ciccone is a mite peeved that folks are picking on his BFF, Widdle Hugetito Chavez.

If Oscar-winning actor Sean Penn had his way, any journalist who called Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez a dictator would quickly find himself behind bars.

Penn, appearing on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher” on Friday, defended Chavez during a segment in which he detailed his work with the JP Haitian Relief Organization, which he co-founded.

“Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it” said Penn, winner of two Best Actor Academy Awards. “And this is mainstream media, who should — truly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.”

O RLY?!&#160 ‘Zat so, buttercup?

Hey, Shawna!&#160 Your boy Hugetito is not only a dictator, he’s a fat little pussy to boot!

Come ‘n try to get me, chumpette.&#160 Unlike the spineless little pissweasel paparazzi you like to beat up on to demonstrate your manhood, I&#160 fight back.

Most of you are pretty well aware what I think of Whoreywood.&#160

Well, tonight’s their annual group circle-jerk (read:&#160 the Oscars), and Drudge (bless his Eddie Murrow heart) has done a masterful job in scoping out the definitive liveblog thereto.

Hie thee hence & partake.&#160 This ain’t just comedy gold – it’s comedy titanium.&#160 Goeth.&#160 Shooeth.&#160

And then they wonder why I despise them.

MERLIN:&#160 You mean, besides the fact that they’re leftist scum.

VENOMOUS:&#160 That, too.

Along with “Avatar” and “District 9,” a third sci-fi hit, “Star Trek,” had been considered a likely best-picture nominee, but it missed out, scoring only technical nominations, including visual effects and makeup.

And it missed out to at least a couple of flicks that didn’t even play&#160 in Realm&#153 territory.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Perhaps they’re waiting for the restart of One Of Our Klingons Is Missing.

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Cthulu knows the rest of us&#160 are.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Hey, I’ve been busy, mkay?

CREW:&#160 …

VENOMOUS:&#160 Well?&#160 I have.

CREW:&#160 …

VENOMOUS:&#160 (sigh) Awright, awright, I’ll see what I can do.

Damned union&#160 actors…

CREW:&#160

Item:&#160 In the Miss USA pageant this past weekend (not to be confused with the Miss America pageant), Miss California – a lady by the name of Carrie Prejean – finished second.

As part of the competition, her portion of the interview segment featured a question by the self-proclaimed “Queen Of All Media”, Perez Hilton – not to be confused with the self-proclaimed “King Of All Media”, Howierd Stern (now there’s&#160 a couple for you, no?).&#160 The question was asked thusly:

“Vermont recently became the fourth state to legalise same-sex marriage. Do you think every state should follow suit? Why or why not?”

And Miss Prejean answered He Who Doesn’t Have Much Experience With Real Women, and stated:

“Well I think it’s great that Americans are able to choose one way or the other,” 21-year-old Prejean said.

“We live in a land where you can choose same-sex marriage or opposite marriage,” she continued.

“You know what, in my country, in my family, I do believe that marriage should be between a man and a woman, no offence to anybody out there.

“But that’s how I was raised and I believe that it should be between a man and a woman. Thank you.”

Today, limp-wristed douchebag pansy-assed faggot Perez Hilton called Carrie Prejean a “dumb bitch” for that answer, thereby demonstating that, if Prejean wanted to sue Miss USA for a biased competition, she might have a helluva case.

As for you, Peresita, listen up, pussy:&#160 Carrie Prejean is not only more of a woman than you ever thought of being, she’s also more of a man&#160 than you could ever hope to be.

Carrie would only need about thirty seconds, tops, to kick your ass.&#160 And I base that on the fact that I’d only need five.

You’re nothing but a limp-wristed pantywaist, fag boy.&#160 Crawl back under your rock before someone who didn’t like what you had to say about Carrie decides to take matters into his own hands and bury you under it.

(Hat tip to the beautiful & talented Michelle, who also&#160 has more testosterone than Peresitita con el boyitito.)