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At Souper Salad this evening (try their red beans & rice sometime; it’s killer), I hear the Ditzy Bints’ Not Ready To Make Nice&#160 come over the speakers.&#160 And the chorus:

Well, I’m not ready to make nice

Not ready to back down

Etc, etc, ad infinitum, ad nauseam.

If memory serves, this was in response to how Toby Keith just abso-freakin’-lutely pwned&#160 them after they didn’t have the stones to bash President Bush here, but had to go overseas to spew their “Just so you know…” line.

And I’m thinking something along the lines of, O RLY, Natalie?&#160 Not ready to admit you & your fellow bimbettes took One Royal Hell&#153 of an ass-whipping, huh?

And just where are they now?

And where is Toby Keith?

I rest my case.&#160 Game, set & friggin’ match

Suck it, Natalie.&#160

Stephanie Dawn Stewart?&#160 Front & center.

Skip’s present is on its way.&#160 It’s a bike.&#160 Not a bad one, either, for his age.

Be a decent human being for once and let him have this present, will you?

Denizens, the General is in dire need of your prayers at this time.

Don’t argue, just do it.

Jim Hoft reports (via the PO’d Patriot) that Glenn Beck has apparently decided he wants a second Bambi term.

While talking with a caller yesterday morning on his radio show, Glenn Beck said that he would probably pick Ron Paul as a third party candidate over Newt Gingrich, if he had to choose between the two.

(I couldn’t find the blurb, but I’ll take Jim’s word for it.)

Anyway, here’s the vid:

Good luck in your next career, Beck – whatever that is, you moron.

(NOTE:&#160 Hey, Paultards!&#160 Unlike Sister Toldjah, I don’t just let anybody comment here.&#160 You have to register, then&#160 I have to approve your first comment.&#160 And, seeing what you pussies tried to do over on her site the other day, that ain’t likely.&#160 So you Ronulans can shove it up your skanky asses if you don’t like it.

Or you can grow a set, come to my doorstep & say it to my face.&#160 Bring an HMO.)

Get the forks out.&#160 They’re done.

at Dallas 34, NY Football Douchebags 37

Spot the Cowgirlz a 12-point lead with under six minutes to go?&#160 No problem!

E-why (Wo)manning – basically Peyton without the talent or personality – shreds Widdle Bobby Ryan’s vaunted&#160 defense, and takes less than four minutes (over two drives) to do so.&#160 And he did it against piss-poor Dallas secondary – two members of which just got huge-assed contract extensions&#160 (Sensabaugh & Scandrick).

And to think – Owner Jethro still – still!!! – fancies himself a competent general manager/talent evaluator.

Fuck that.

You heard it here first, Denizens – Dallas is done.

Jimmy Johnson said on Fox the other day that the loser of this game would not even so much as make the playoffs.&#160 I say now, and for the record…the Cowgirlz won’t even win another game.&#160 Stand by for a WITY&#153 shortly after New Year’s

This week:&#160 0-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 53-16.

There’ll be one more Cowgirl loss Saturday night, and we’ll chronicle that either Friday or Saturday.&#160 After that, the last two Cowpie losses will be interspersed around bowl season.&#160 We’ll get to that next week.

Stay tuned.

Those who have known me any length of time should realize that I have a strong dislike of mixing religion and politics. If you look back in history, every time the (Christian)Church became a part of the political landscape, it was ultimately a disaster for both the Church and the government. Governor Perry’s apparent campaign to “out” the President as an enemy of the Church is appropriate only in that our elected government has, in recent years, shown hostility to the Christian Church, and seems bent upon de-legitimizing the Church and the values it confesses.

Having said this, I also find the President’s apparent need to “prove” his Christianity by attending services for the first time since Easter to be highly distasteful. There is a saying which has been around for many years, which says that if you have to tell me just how “good” a Christian you are, then perhaps you aren’t as good as you believe yourself to be.

To top it off, the minister’s treatment of the Gospel text set for yesterday, and as described by the article, was atrocious! It was the sort of thing you would expect from one who sees Jesus of Nazareth as a good moral teacher, rather than as the Savior of all Creation.

Okay, may as well get it over with.

at #18 TCU 56, UNLV 9

#10 Oklahoma 10, at #3 Oklahoma State 44

#15 Wisconsin 42, #13 Michigan State 39 (Big Ten championship, at Indianapolis)

Dallas 13, at Arizona 19 (OT)

As expected, I had no nails left from Badgers-Spartans, as the game was 3 with 1:00 remaining.

But, with a chance to get the ball back inside of two minutes in the fourth quarter, down by three, MSU called for an all-out punt block – and missed.&#160 As the lead Spartan barely brushed Bucky punter Brad Nortman, Nortman performed an Oscar-worthy flop.

Flag.&#160 Five-yard penalty for running into the kicker, Bucky keeps the ball, game over.

Montee Ball had 137 yards and three touchdowns on 27 carries, and caught another pass for a score.&#160 Ruesell Wilson was a very respectable 17-24-187 and three TDs.&#160 They’ll get Oregon in the Rose Bowl on New Year’s day.

—

I was more concerned with the fact that I was freezing my ass off in the East stands of Amon Carter than I was that UNLV might actually score a touchdown.

All that aside, the Frogs once again used their primary weapon – a points-explosion quarter – to make short work of the Rebs.

Pachall had his TD on an 8-yard keeper [ED. NOTE: That was at the end of the first quarter&#160 -DV] and James on a 10-yard run. Then on the first play after a blocked punt, Tucker ran straight up the middle for a 32-yard TD when at least five defenders got his hands on him without bringing him down.

After Kohorst kicked a 43-yard field goal with 2:13 left in the first half, McCoy and Gardner followed with their big returns.

[…]

McCoy, who already had a kickoff return for a touchdown earlier this season, backpedaled to field the ball just in front of the goal line and then took off. He ran through a group of players on the left side before breaking into the open and sprinting all the way down the field.

When the Rebels got the ball back, Gardner picked off a pass by freshman Taylor Barnhill and went untouched into the end zone.

G’night, Rebels.&#160 Hello, third straight – and last – Mountain West Conference championship.&#160 I can just imagine the look on Craig Thompson’s face as he had to hand Gary Patterson the trophy.&#160

For their&#160 reward, the Frogs will get to feast on Lousy-anna Technological in the Poinsettia Bowl in San Diego.&#160 Almost worth going to see.

—

No, I didn’t expect OU to win – but this was discouraging.&#160 They could’ve played this one in Norman, and it wouldn’t’ve mattered.

Landry Jones turned the ball over four times, and the combination of Joseph Randle & Jeremy Smith ran over, around and through the Sooner defense for an aggregate 270 yards and four touchdowns.

OU gets Iowa in the Insight Bowl in Tempe, AZ.&#160 Pretty sad for an outfit that was supposedly going to contend for the national championship.

—

What the fuck is it about Arizona?&#160 Every time one of the local teams here plays there, it’s like voodoo ensues.

This time, it was the Red Headed Jesus Genius Goober icing his own kicker, for Cthulu’s sake.&#160 Dan Bailey’s 49-yarder was waved off by Jason Garrett calling a timeout when he didn’t fucking need&#160 to.&#160 (The actual kick was woefully short and off to the left – one of two misses on the day for the usually-automatic Bailey.)

Not that it would – or even should – have mattered – the Cowgirlz acted as if the Cards were the fucking ’85 Bears when it came to their defense.&#160 They put eight, nine in the box against DeMarco Murray, and dared El Choko to beat them with his arm.&#160 And, as usual, he didn’t disappoint.

The Arizona fans, that is.

Yet another crown jewel&#160 in Owner Jethro’s talent-evaluation hat, y’know?

This week:&#160 3-1 (I’m going to count the Cowgirlz’ el foldo&#160 act in my favor).&#160 Overall:&#160 53-15.

Tonight, we have the Cowgirlz vs. the Noo Yawk Football Douchebags at the Death Star.&#160 Given that it’s December, which is when the Cowgirlz usually tank, I don’t expect much, but we’ll see.&#160 (And I have to pull for them here – you’ll never see me giving Bwandi Jackoff, E-Why or the rest of those pissweasels an even break.)

Back tomorrow or so with yet another rant.

For shame if you don’t know who Harry Morgan was. For those of us who have the t-shirt and all, clearly this is a great loss. One of those great people who plied their craft better than most. And did so with some longevity as well.

Harry Morgan for those less initiated was none other than Col. Sherman Potter, Commander, 4077 MASH, Korea.

Yes, THAT M*A*S*H.

For a more complete bio, you can go here

Since the flags were already at half-stalf for Pearl Harbor day, we will keep them there until reveille on Friday.

ThatIsAll&#153

Denizens, take a moment today to reflect on the attack on Pearl Harbor, seventy years ago today – and what our country might look like today had we not won World War II.

And then let’s get up off our asses and effin’ get to work, because if B. HUSSEIN!!!!!&#160 Obambi has his way, that’s exactly what we will&#160 look like!

Get busy!

Denizens, there’ll be no PFW recap today.&#160 Might not be one for this week, I dunno.&#160 For the time being, it’s taking all I have to write this.

I lost a friend today.&#160 One I’ve never met.&#160 Neither her nor her husband, in fact.

Yet I’ve shed more tears for this person this past year than I’ve ever shed for some of my own family members.&#160 Losing her is really more than I want to put up with right now.

Rest in peace, Mary Hopkins.

Vicar, General, you guys have the conn.&#160 I think I’m gonna go throw up.

Stop the presses!

I can’t believe this is happening!!!

If/when this shows up in the papers, it’ll probably be in six-inch “2nd coming” type!!!!!

This is abso-fucking-lutely in-fucking-credible!!!1!!ONE!!1!!1ELEVENTYTEEN!!1~1

Spread the word.&#160

(Hat tip to a co-worker of mine, who shall remain nameless. (And is probably eternally grateful for it.))

Denizens, our theme for this week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend is “transistions”.

Over the last few days, a handful of folks were rather rudely informed that their services were no longer needed.

Neil Callaway and Dennis Erickson were fired from Alabama-Birmingham & Arizona State, respectively.

Rick Neuheisel got his ass handed to him – first by a USC team that’s on probation (an 0-50 shellacking), then by his athletic director.&#160 Moreover – and I’m just finding this out as I type this – Rock Chalk finally decided it had had enough with old friend & perennial PFW trackee Turner Gill – a move, which, honestly, wasn’t terribly unexpected.

And, in another not-terribly-surprising move, Widdle Donna McCrabby, the World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever!!!&#153, was rather abruptly informed that, not only was he not good enough to be on the Minne-haha ViQueens, roster…he wasn’t good enough to be on any roster, period.&#160 Ah, how the mighty have fallen.

But it’s the firing of so-called “interim” Ohio State head coach Luke Fickell that’s got my ass chapped today.

You’ve no doubt heard by now that the Buckeyes, in what wasn’t a terribly closely-guarded secret, have hired Urban Meyer to be their new head coach.&#160 And they fired Fickell in order to do so.

Almost as if they couldn’t get rid of Fickell soon enough to worship at the feet of the college football ghod.

Now, I’ve no great love for Ohio State, but it’s a respectable program.&#160 Or, at least, it was.&#160 But they had here an opportunity to retain a head coach who loved what he did, who loved the university where he plied his craft – indeed, where he had played, and wasn’t too shabby as a player – and who would have stayed with them for a long time as head coach and brought the program back to prominence.&#160 Potentially, you could have seen Luke Fickell as the head coach at OSU for the next 25 years, at least.&#160 Probably longer.

But no.&#160 OSU had to go for the shiny bauble, tossing aside the not-as-attractive-but-far-more-dependable Fickell.&#160 The Texas Rangers did that nearly 40 years ago, firing Whitey Herzog and replacing him with Billy Martin, the hot managing prospect at the time.

Martin won his share of world championships – just not with Texas.&#160 Herzog, meanwhile, took Kansas City & St. Louis to World Series.&#160 How’d that work out for the stRangers?

Very classless move, OSU.&#160 Not terribly unlike Penn State, IYAM.

On to the on-field stuff.&#160 Another rather short schedule, seeing as a couple of my teams are done.&#160 We do have most of my teams in action, though.&#160 Gary Patterson’s 19th-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs get to officially don their final Mountain West football crown tomorrow, as they’re a 39-point favorite at home against UNLV on Senior Day.

In fact, the only question seems to be whether Patterson will let Ross Evans kick, after his arrest in Denton the other day.&#160 Otherwise – does anyone really&#160 expect UNLV to put up much of a fight?

Also tomorrow, it’s the annual “Bedlam” game pitting Bob Stoops’ 10th-ranked Oklahoma Sooners against their 3rd-ranked cross-state rivals, the Oklahoma State Cowboys.&#160 This game is in Stillwater for a second straight year, which puzzles me a bit.&#160 I mean, OSU’s already gonna win the game – they have one of the nation’s best QB-WR tandems in Brandon Weeden & Justin Blackmon going against an extremely suspect Sooner secondary.&#160 OSU’s only a 3&#189-point favorite here, and Cthulu knows why.&#160 But isn’t the game supposed to be in Norman?

Tomorrow night, Bucky gets a rematch against Michigan State in the Big Ten Eleven Twelve Ten championship game – and if they can keep it at a two-score game with a minute left to play…I’ll still feel a lot better when the clock reads 0:00.

Bucky’s a solid 9&#189-point favorite here, which means the game’s gonna scare the Hell&#153 outta me.

Sunday, the Dallas Cowgirls will travel to Phoenix, and probably make the Arizona Cardinals third-string quarterback look like Tom-Freakin’-Brady.&#160 (When you have Larry Fitzgerald going up against that&#160 secondary, I&#160 could look like Brady.)

Let’s put the over/under at three Romo picks, one of ’em a pick-six, whaddya you t’ink?

We’re back Monday or so with the recap.&#160 (Maybe Tuesday, ’cause vacation’s over Monday, and I got a mountain o’ work staring me in the face when I get back.)&#160 In the meantime, my question for HDD is…should Bret start fitting his team for championship rings?

Sister Toldjah tells us about Herbie Cain’s decision to “re-assess” his dwindling chances of even getting a remote sniff of the White House campaign, in light of the latest accusation d’ peccadillo&#160 against him.

An Atlanta businesswoman is breaking her silence, claiming she has been involved in a 13-year-long affair with Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain.

Over the Thanksgiving weekend, FOX 5 senior I-Team reporter Dale Russell sat down with Ginger White, who had a story to tell.

“I’m not proud,” White told Russell. “I didn’t want to come out with this. I did not.”

Don’t believe it for a nanosecond, Denizens.&#160 Unless she & Herbie were an item alllllllll over Hotlanta, all she had to do was keep her effing mouth shut.&#160 No one gave two flying fucks at donut holes who she was before this, and nobody’ll give so much as one after Herbie drops out of the race.

Which, if he can figure out what “Mene Mene Tekel Upharsin” means, should be AnyDayNow&#153.

Ginger White says she met Herman Cain in the late 90s in Louisville, Kentucky, when as president of the National Restaurant Association, he made a presentation. She was impressed. She says they shared drinks afterwards and he invited her back to his hotel room.

“’I’d like to see you again,’” White said Cain told her. “’You are beautiful to me, and I would love for us to continue this friendship.’”

She says in his hotel room, he pulled out a calendar and invited her to meet him in Palm Springs. She accepted, and she says the affair began.

[…]

She says during the next 13 years, he would fly her to cities where he was speaking and he lavished her with gifts. She says they often stayed at the Ritz Carlton in Buckhead and dined at The Four Seasons restaurant. She says he never harassed her, never treated her poorly, and was the same man you see on the campaign trail.

[…]

She says the physical relationship ended about eight months ago, right before Cain announced he was running for president. But the communication did not.

Don’t get me wrong, Denizens.&#160 I don’t for a minute believe a single syllable this tawdry trollop is saying.&#160 There has been too many of these accusations, saying exactly the same thing, to think these bimbos haven’t been coached.

But it doesn’t matter what you & I know, guys.&#160 The majority of the American Idol-fed, pablum-scarfing douchebaggery that we foolishly call citizens, will lap it up like cats on a saucer of milk laced with catnip.

Cain, as much as I dislike the man for his disrespect of Rick Perry, is bang on right about this one:&#160 Like Clarance Thomas before him, he is a victim of an attempted “high-tech lynching”.&#160 Problem is…this time, it worked.

And while I might not mind too much, all things considered – I do think that anyone who was involved in spreading this maliciousness (all&#160 of it) should be taken out back…and properly ventilated, if you know what I mean.

Asshats.&#160

UPDATE (hat tip Jim Hoft):&#160 Uh, oh.&#160 Maybe there is&#160 something to this one, after all.

Herman Cain acknowledged Thursday that he repeatedly gave Ginger White money to help her with “month-to-month bills and expenses” without telling his wife of more than 40 years.

In fact, the embattled presidential candidate said, his wife, Gloria, “did not know that we were friends until she (White) came out with this story” alleging that the two had a 13-year extramarital affair.

In his most candid interview since the latest allegations emerged, Cain adamantly maintained that he and White were no more than friends.

Uh, huh.&#160 To quote a certain SpatulaGoddess, “Yeah, right, whatever”.

Doesn’t matter if this specific episode was platonic or not.&#160 Doesn’t matter if he was merely “trying to help her financially” or whatever.&#160 The mere appearance&#160 of impropriety in this case is enough to torpedo this&#160 campaign.

G’night, Herbie, thanks for playing.

UPDATE the Twoth:&#160 Sure enough…

Herman Cain, the insurgent populist whose candidacy has been ensnared by allegations of sexual impropriety, said Saturday that he is leaving the race for the Republican presidential nomination, saying that the allegations have cast a “cloud of doubt over me and this campaign.”

“As of today, with a lot of prayer and soul searching, I am suspending my presidential campaign,” he said at an event in Atlanta. “I am suspending my presidential campaign because of the continued distraction, the continued hurt . . . on me, on my family, not because we are not fighters, not because I am not a fighter.”

“…but because I am a horndog on a Clintonian scale, and where it was okay with Slick Willie, a Republican – ‘specially a black&#160 Republican – ‘Cain’t’&#160 gets away widdit.”

And, whereas before I thought the Ginger White story was 100% bullshit…now I’m not so sure.

(shrug) Meh, whatever.