Fox News has reported that Mittens has conceded.  He’s now on my fucking TV screen, ready to snivel & piss away the last vestiges of Reagan’s glorious party.
Fuck you, you son-of-a-Mormon-bitch RINO.
Okay, guys, we’re here at the North Dallas Hilton in the mini-headquarters for state reps Dan Branch & John Carona.  We’re in one corner pounding away on the hotel’s wi-fi (thank you, Barron – give my regards to Paris, hm?), and we’ll be here as long as necessary.
Or until one of us passes out from sugar shock, take your pick.
—
22:14 – Fox News just called Ohio for Bambi.
That’s it.  Goodnight.
Saddle up, fix bayonets, lock & load.
Let the civil war come.
—
22:00 – North Carolina & Idaho have been called for Romney.  Washington State, Hawaii & Kalifornication go to Bambi.
Mrs. Venomous, we’ve made our last trip to San Diego.
—
21:52 – Fox News just called Minne-haha for Bambi.
Fuck you, Minne-haha.  DK, get your ass outta there, it’s a lost cause.
—
21:24 – Fox News is calling Arizona for Romney.
—
21:13 – Fox News crawl states Republicans will keep the House.
For all the fucking good that’s going to do.
—
21:11 – The Missouri Senate race has been called for Claire McCaskill.
Fuck you, Missouri.
—
21:10 – Henderson tells me Montana’s been called for Mitt.
—
21:00 – Iowa goes to Romney.
—
20:52 – Back on wi-fi.  Fox News has called Wisconsin & New Hampshire for Bambi, and they show him also ahead in Florida by one.
At this rate, if Bambi takes Florida, it’s over.
At which point, I’ll be looking to buy a helluva lot more ammo.
—
20:24 – Now on the wireless modem. More reliable then Hilton’s wi-fi.  (Or his daughter’s affections, for that matter.)
—
20:17 – Fox News is calling Pennsylvania for Bambi.  I’m calling bullshit.
—
19:57 – And not just in the Presidential race, either – Arkansas has gone completely red for the first time since Reconstruction, according to Hoft.
—
19:52 – Fox News is projecting Mitt to take Arkansas.  (Take that, Der Kaiser!)
—
19:51 – Fox News crawl (at least, what I could see of it):  Romney trashing Bambi in Missouri.  Pray for Todd Akin.
—
19:35 – So far, we have Kentucky, Indiana, West Virginia, South Carolina, Mississippi, Alabama, Tennessee & Oklahoma all for Mitt, while we have fools in Vermont, MassaChewsShits, Noo Joisey (what do you expect from a state that Snooki calls home?), Ill-noise, Rhode Island, DC and (hack, spit) New York (hack, spit).
Will keep updating this as time allows.
Denizens, I was going to have a piece my sister-in-law (aka the Sibling Unit’s™ Spousal Unit™ (grin)) had emailed me for you early this morning.
Wouldn’t you know it – we couldn’t find Mrs. Venomous’ voter ID card, and spent 20 minutes finding it, so there went that.
That said, if you haven’t voted – and you still have time – please, by all means do so.
And remember the adage I post every year about this time:  Vote for whomever you wish – just don’t vote Demoscum.
Good hunting, guys.  Let’s kick Bambi’s ass!
UPDATE:  If possible I’ll be trying to do some live victory-party blogging from Dallas GOP party headquarters in north Dallas.
Henderson’s with me, and we’ll try to pull Mitt through for ya.