Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

Given how ex-Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson cut Curvin Richards after he fumbled twice after the Chicago game in 1992, Nebraska should be eminently thankful he’s not coaching them.

#10 Oklahoma 23, #13 Nebraska 20*

Dallas 38, at Indianapolis 35 (OT)

*at Cowboys Stadium in Arlington

Nebraska’s problem was simple:&#160 They failed to protect the ball, and turned it over too many times in their own territory, giving Landry Jones and the Sooners fields that were too short, too often.

Ball game.

Taylor Martinez threw a pass back across the field into traffic; OU picked it and turned it into a field goal.&#160 Roy Helu fumbled; OU recovered and turned it into a touchdown.&#160 Martinez fumbled – another OU field goal.&#160 Burkhead fumbled a snap (not his fault; it was a bad snap) – OU’s winning field goal.

Jones was 23-41-342 with a score.&#160 Kenny Stills caught three balls for 83 yards and a TD.&#160 DeMarco Murray & Robbie Finch combined for 105 rushing yards and a score.

But most of that would not have been possible had Nebraska not given the game to OU.

—

Where has this&#160 team been?

Granted, Peyton Manning was playing with a couple cans short of a six pack (no Joe Addai, no Dallas Clark).&#160 But two months ago, the four picks he threw would have just clanked off Cowboy hands.

But the Cowboys scored 20 points off those four interceptions, two of them pick-sixes.

‘Bout time the defense picked up the offense for once.

This week:&#160 2-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 69-17.

The PFW will return on Friday to handicap (?) Dallas-Philthydelphia.

Turn out the lights – the party really is&#160 over now.

“Dandy Don” Meredith has passed.

He was well known as the Cowboys’ first winning quarterback, i.e. he ran the team the first time they posted a winning record.&#160 And he was already well-known in Dallas as SMU’s quarterback.&#160 But his fame (notoriety?) took off a couple years after he retired – for that’s when he became the third man in the triumvirate of announcers doing ABC’s Monday Night Football, opposite Frank Gifford & Howard Cosell.&#160 And America became enamored with the song:

Turn out the lights

The party’s over

They say that

All good things must end

Call it tonight

The party’s over

And tomorrow starts

The same old thing again

Goodnight, Dandy Don.&#160 You left us too soon.

Denizens, for this abbreviated edition of the Perfect Football Weekend, the Department of “$#!+ My Wide Receiver Says” weighs in with this pile of crap from shit-for-brains Roy “TU-Gangland-Handsign-Man” Williams.

“I’m nowhere near trying to toot my own horn because I’m not that type of player, but I’ve been the most consistent wide receiver that we have on this roster.”

Yeah, Toy Willie.&#160 Consistently mediocre.&#160 Consistently catch-the-ball-then-fumble-the-damned-thing.&#160 You’re a piece of shit work, all right.

It’s Championship Saturday as I write this, and it’s looking like Auburn & Oregon are going to hold serve in their respective title games.&#160 So we can expect TCU in the Rose Bowl come tomorrow night.

In the meantime, the Big Two & Little Ten Big XII has their championship game tonight, and it features PFW teams Oklahoma & Nebraska, #10 & #13 respectively.

As you guys know, I like both teams, and both coaches – but I can’t help hoping Nebraska wins tonight.&#160 It would serve a certain spineless little Big XII commissioner pissweasel (*coughDonBeebecough*) right.

Tomorrow, the Dallas Cowboys are at Lucas Oil Stadium in Indian-hapless to take on a banged-up and not-playing-all-that-well Colt team. Look for Peyton Manning to get well against our swiss-cheese secondary.

We’re back Monday with the recap.&#160 In the meantime…HDD, if you’re out there, I think TCU can beat Bucky. What say you?

Denizens, remember the bake sales your school would have when you were growing up?&#160 Yer mom would bake a cake, or a pie, or cupcakes, or blueberry muffins, or banana-nut cake, and take it down for you, your schoolmates and their folks to enjoy.

OZY MCCOOL:&#160 Great.&#160 Now I’m all hungry.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yeah, I know.&#160 I’ll see if Mrs. Venomous can whip up some muffins for ye.

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 She’d do that for us?

VENOMOUS:&#160 Sure.&#160 Not like she can do it for me, what with the diabetes & the low-carb diet ‘n all.

MERLIN:&#160 Schweet.

Anyway, it was a fun thing to do, and usually it benefitted some worthy cause or other – band, choir, a Cub Scout troop, whatever.

Naturally, the Demoscum can’t stand to see Americans enjoying themselves, so here comes the First Wookiee…

CHEWBACCA:&#160 ROWARRRRRRR!!!!!

…uh, the First Klingon…

[Korrioth uses one massive hand to goozle His Rudeness by the throat.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 Suggest you try again, m’liege.

…(ulp)…uh…the First Nossican?

KORRIOTH, K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Better, sir.

CHEWBACCA:&#160 …urf, urf, urf…

Ain’t no pleasing some people.

Anyway, Her Wide-Assedness told the Imperial Socalist Congress&#153 to jump, they got on collective knee, kissed her fat ass and asked “How high?”, and this bullshit is the result.

A child nutrition bill on its way to President Barack Obama — and championed by the first lady — gives the government power to limit school bake sales and other fundraisers that health advocates say sometimes replace wholesome meals in the lunchroom.

“This could be a real train wreck for school districts,” Lucy Gettman of the National School Boards Association said Friday, a day after the House cleared the bill. “The federal government should not be in the business of regulating this kind of activity at the local level.”

If Bambi signs this piece-of-shit, it could be a real train wreck for the Demoscum in 2012.&#160 Not bad enough that they’ve moved to throw our economy in the shitter; not bad enough that they want to tell us we have&#160 to buy health insurance – now they wanna tell us we can’t even have bake sales???

The legislation, part of first lady Michelle Obama’s campaign to stem childhood obesity, provides more meals at school for needy kids, including dinner

…by which time the little rug-rats ought to be home anyway – but don’t let those inconvenient little facts get in the First Nossican’s way.

and directs the Agriculture Department to write guidelines to make those meals more healthful. The bill would apply to all foods sold in schools during regular class hours, including in the cafeteria line, in vending machines and at fundraisers.

It wouldn’t apply to after-hours events or concession stands at sports events.

Oh, but you just know&#160 they’d either try to find a way around that, or else repeal that little provision within three years.

I would honest-to-Cthulu like to see some dickless little bureaucratic pissweasel with a bad combover just try&#160 to enforce any&#160 of this BS.

The fuckhead had best bring a slew of bodyguards with him.&#160 IYKWIMAITYD.

The RCOB&#153 is in full effect.

Continuing on…

at #14 Nebraska 31, #7 Missouri 17

#11 Nebraska 31, at Iowa State 30

at #9 Nebraska 20, Kansas 3

#9 Nebraska 6, at #18 Texas A&M 3, Fucking Blind-Assed Homer Zebras 6

at #16 Nebraska 45, Colorado 17

#7 Wisconsin 34, at Purdue 13

at #6 Wisconsin 83, Indiana 10

#6 Wisconsin 48, Michigan 28

at #5 Wisconsin 70, Northwestern 23

at Dallas 17, Jacksonville 35

Dallas 7, at Green Bay 45

Dallas 33, at NY Football Douchebags 20

at Dallas 35, Detroit 19

at Dallas 27, New Orleans 30 (Thanksgiving)

Husker fans, keep reminding yourself:&#160 Taylor Martinez is only a freshman.&#160 He will&#160 get better.

He did well enough against Missouri before tweaking his ankle and missing the second half, as well as subsequent games against Iowa State & Colorado (Cody Green did well enough in Martinez’ absence).

But Nebraska needs good quarterback play in order to do well, and until the position gets more dependable, it – and Nebraska’s overall play – is going to be a crapshoot.

Now.&#160 This disturbs the Hell&#153 outta me.

For Nebraska, the victory was a happy ending to a tumultuous week. Chancellor Harvey Perlman on Sunday called out Pelini for his intense and animated outbursts directed toward officials and Martinez. Pelini publicly apologized for his behavior on Monday.

On Tuesday, defensive coordinator Carl Pelini, Bo’s brother, apologized for knocking a video camera out of the hands of a reporter on the field after the A&M game and athletic director Tom Osborne issued a statement saying he expected Bo Pelini to tone down his antics.

Well, Tom & Harvey, I suppose if you’re upset with a coach that wants to win as badly as Bo Pelini, you could&#160 always go hire a coach that was a bit more laid back.&#160 Someone, say, like Bill Callahan – I hear he’s&#160 avaiable.

Of course, the reason&#160 Pelini was pissed off might’ve had something to do with this.

Nebraska finished with 16 penalties for 145 yards, a situation that had Pelini irate and yelling at the officials for much of the game. He was called for unsportsmanlike conduct early in the fourth quarter after a particularly long tirade.

That was opposed to Texas Asslicks & Maggots only having two penalties called on them.&#160 Hell – there were more blown calls that went against Nebraska than Assclowns & Morons had called on them all night.

An obvious A&M pass-interference penalty inside the 10 that the back judge looked directly&#160 at, saw&#160 the defender’s hand on the receiver’s backside whilst going over said backside, before swallowing his whistle anyway.&#160 A phantom pass-interference call on the Huskers that got flagged immediately.&#160 A Husker roughing-the-passer call for a legal hit.

And then Harvey Perlman & Tom Osborne wring their hands in angst and wonder why Bo’s slightly upset.&#160 Here’s a hint, gents:&#160 You think Bo’s torqued?&#160 I’d’ve been positively nuclear.&#160 Then&#160 I’d’ve called your gutless asses out for not going to bat for the university.

But I guess that’s what happens when you’ve gotten used to Bill Callahan & losing.

—

Bucky need not worry about that.&#160 They’re rolling.&#160 83 points against Indiana, 70 points against Northwestern, neither one of which will ever be confused with, say, New Mexico, and the Fear Of God&#153 has been put into this scribe.

Because they’re very likely going to be TCU’s opponent on January 1st in the Rose Bowl.&#160 If any team can match up with TCU in the BCS, it’s these guys.&#160 I’d almost rather play Smurf Turf Fuckhead State again.

—

Wade Phillips seemed resigned to losing.&#160 (Not that he actually was; it just seemed that way.)&#160 That’s why Owner Jethro had no choice but to fire Coach Stay-Puf’s doughboy ass after the Green Bay debacle.

Since then, of course, the ‘Boyz have played a lot better.&#160 Well, most of them, anyway – Roy “UT gang-hand-signal” Williams is still a piece of shit – he pulled his usual catch-the-ball-run-get-hit-and-fumble routine against the Saints, which allowed the ‘Boys to snatch defeat from the jaws of a third-straight victory.&#160 Seriously, the sooner they get Butterfingers Roy out of the lineup, the better off the Cowboys will be.

Other than that, they had an exceptional effort against the Douchebags, and took care of business against the Lions.&#160 Bryan McCann, who bounced around a couple teams’ practice squads after Dallas cut him in training camp, looks like he could be a real find.&#160 For a rookie, he plays some nicely smart football – his 101-yard pick-six against the D-bags and his 93-yard punt return vs. the Lions were the linchpin for both victories.&#160 McCann could be an Everson Walls/Larry Brown-type fixture around here for a few years.

Jon Kitna is doing okay in place of the injured Tony Romo, and Dez Bryant is having a fairly decent rookie year.&#160 The running game still isn’t doing that hot – Jean-Jacques Taylor had the line of the year the other day:

Until two weeks ago, Felix couldn’t make a telephone pole miss.

Brilliant.&#160 Kudos & props.

But the running game is a function of the line, and it still sucks.&#160 Look for new faces there next season (assuming there is&#160 a “next season”).

Even the defense is playing better, now that Paul Pasqualoni has gone to a little bit more zone in the secondary, which avoids leaving his corners on an island, where it’s more than clear that they don’t do so well.

Look for Jason Garrett to shed the “interim” tag sometime in the future.

Record during this interval:&#160 18-6.&#160 Overall:&#160 67-16.&#160 One Perfect Football Weekend&#153 achieved.

Only have two teams playing in the PFW this coming weekend.&#160 Trouble is, they’re playing each other.&#160 We’ll talk about that tomorrow.

The Mississippi State bulldogs began the year with a goal to qualify for a bowl game. This they have done. The finished out their regualr season with the traditional Mississippi State, University of Mississippi game. This game is known in Mississippi as the “Egg Bowl” and this year MSU took the win.

A side thought, Obama is a product of the Chicago political machine. How can anyone possibly believe him to be honest?

In January, it seems that our taxes will go up significantly, here is a site which runs down what those increases will be. Please note that all tax payers are are having their taxes raised.  🙁

Guess it’s about time I started writing on my own blog again, huh?

MERLIN, KORRIOTH, K’HADIBAK’H, OZY, T-BONE, RAYEGUN, VICAR, MRS. VENOMOUS, VARIOUS BYNAR, JAWA, KLINGON, VULCAN & FERENGI EXTRAS AROUND SET:&#160 NAWWWWW!!!1!ONE!!1!ELEVENTEEN&#160 Whatever gave you that&#160 idea?

Damned union help…

ALL:&#160

Well, okay.&#160 If y’all insist.

When last we left Our Intrepid Friday Night, Saturday Night & Sunday Afternoon Heroes&#153, we were six.&#160 We’re now five, which we’ll cover in a moment.&#160 For now, all the first half of the scores are below the fold.

Arlington Heights 33, Western Hills 3

Arlington Heights 45, Dunbar 18

Arlington Heights 49, Saginaw Boswell 52

#4 Texas Christian 48, at UNLV 6

#4 Texas Christian 47, at #6 Utah 7

at #3 Texas Christan 40, San Diego State 35

#4 Texas Christian 66, at New Mexico 17

at #11 Oklahoma 43, Colorado 10

#9 Oklahoma 19, at Texas A&M 33

at #19 Oklahoma 45, Texas Tech 7

#16 Oklahoma 53, at Baylor 24

#14 Oklahoma 47, at #10 Oklahoma State 41

Arlington Heights took District 4A-6 by basically dismantling Western Hills, took a victory lap against Dunbar, and then pulled their typical one-and-done act by laying down on defense the second half and letting the Pioneers come back from a twenty-five (25) point deficit.

That may be the Jackets’ swan song for some time.&#160 All-Galaxy do-everything back Marquis Jackson graduates this year, and while they’ll still have Omar Valadez at QB, to whom he will throw to is a very&#160 good question.

Ged Kates – you’re on this scribe’s shit list (not that anyone’ll lose any sleep over it, I know) until you win a playoff game.&#160 Then again, you might have problems even getting&#160 to the playoffs next year.

—

The best thing I think that could be said about Gary Patterson’s TCU Horned Frogs is that they’ve turned it up a notch when they’ve absolutely needed to.

They put teams like New Mexico & UNLV away with stretches of good play, they exploded offensively just long enough to beat San Diego State, and they even managed to give pretty much a full 60-minute effort against Utah up in Salt Lake City, which isn’t anything to sneeze at (never mind that Notre Dame demolished the Utes the next week).

The fact is that the Frogs haven’t been as consistently good as they were last year.&#160 They’ve had a few more lapses in focus this year than last, even defensively where they’ve been absolute studs.&#160 They need to get things fixed by the bowl game, else it’ll be a repeat of the Fiesta Bowl in January.

—

Rinse, lather, repeat.&#160 OU’s not been the juggernaut of the Bradford years, but they’ve suffered a couple of real brain farts – especially the one against Texas Asswipes & Motherfuckers.&#160 Agg-ettes are crowing like dickless roosters over their six-game winning streak since Ryan Tannehill replaced Jerrod Johnson at quarterback, but OU gave them one of those games, and Nebraska…well, more on that in a bit.

The offense came through just in time against Okie State in order to secure the Big XII South.&#160 Good thing, too – the Sooner defense might as well have been a block of Swiss cheese against the Cowboys.

NEXT:&#160 Part II