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Q:&#160 What’s the difference between a Democrat and a Socialist?

A:&#160 There’s a difference?

Folks, Benedict Jeffords is retiring.&#160 (And good riddance too, if you ask me.)

So who does Chairman YEAARRRRRRRGH!!! of the Demoscum recommend to take his place?

Why, the only admitted&#160 socialist Congresscritter on the Hill, of course.

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean is endorsing a Socialist to replace retiring Vermont Senator Jim Jeffords.

“A victory for Bernie Sanders is a win for Democrats,” Dean told Vermont’s Bennington Banner in a telephone interview Monday.

Naturally, Dr. Howeird.&#160 Professional courtesy, after all.&#160 The same reason vipers don’t bite attorneys, y’know.

Reminded that Rep. Sanders is not a member of his party, Dean quickly backpedaled, explaining, “We’ve got a few things to work out with Bernie. Bernie’s not a Democrat.”

What’s the big deal, Screaming Flea?&#160 Neither are you – at least, not in the classic sense.

Asked to explain what he needs to work out with Sanders, Dean said: “I’d rather tell him in person.”

Quite right.&#160 It’s a little more difficult to blow kisses over the phone.

Sanders’ official party affiliation is Independent, but throughout his political career the left-wing Vermonter has repeatedly referred to himself as a “democratic-socialist.”

Despite their political differences, Dean stood by his endorsement, calling Sanders “a strong candidate.”

Refer back to the top of this post.&#160 Differences?&#160 There are differences?

Awright, so I’m prepping a couple of computers for customers of mine locally (no, sweet Denita, I haven’t forgotten about you guys – in fact, your machine’s pretty much done, save for a security update here & there), when Nightline&#160 comes on and it’s Chapter 21,985 in the Creation v. Evolution fight.

And for the Fox News Channel debate portion of the program – interesting how they’ve suddenly decided that if they can mimic the format, they think they’ll get Fox’s viewership, hm? (snicker) – they dust off this evolutionist fanatic from Florida State to go up against this nerd-type from Baylor.&#160 And the fanatic is laying into the nerd, accusing him of having a religious bias and “oh, you can’t possibly believe that ‘intelligent design’ isn’t a code word for (gasp) Creationism!!!”

And the nerd is giving it his best shot, but it’s clear that Georgie-Porgie Snuffleupagus has carefully (cough) orchestrated this debate so as to make the evolutionist fanatic look like the more suave, the more debonair, the smoother, the more credible of the two.

Memo to the evolutionist morons:&#160 You people – yes, I said “you people”; get over it – have been pushing this evolution bullshit on the masses now for years.&#160 Decades, even.&#160 Ever since Snopes.&#160 And you have demanded&#160 that we believe it because, after all, it must be true!!!!!&#160 Science proves it!!!!!

Yet, for all your blathering and bleating…you bastards still haven’t proven jack shit.&#160 You have not shown us the species of animal that suddenly changed itself into a completely different species, for example.&#160 You have not, despite&#160 your natterings to the contrary, shown us what you call “The Missing Link&#153”.&#160 And when you’re questioned on the slightest jot or tittle of your screeds, your response is to malign the character of the questioner as being “one of those Creationist fanatics” – as if it were some sort of bad thing to believe in God in the first place.

Sounds to me like you’ve got this thing called “evolution” to the point where it’s, say…ahhhhh…a religion&#160 for you.&#160 Fancy that.

But for all your sniveling on the subject, the fact – yes, the fact&#160 – remains…it’s still a theory.&#160 Just as it has always been – a theory.&#160 And just as it will always be – a damned-fool theory.

Because you can’t prove it.&#160 You couldn’t before; you can’t now; you won’t be able to in the future.

So.&#160 Given that, for lo these last few decades, you people have been shoving this theory&#160 down our throats…isn’t it about time that maybe – just maybe – some other theory had its moment in the sun?

Say, the theory of “intelligent design”?

It’s certainly every bit as valid as this bucket of warm piss you people have been advocating all this time.

When it comes to our “hah skrewls” (a little more Rush lingo, there), I’m as anti-inmates-controlling-the-asylum as the next guy.&#160 Probably even more so, seeing as smart-assed teenaged punks are amongst my least favorite wastes of oxygen on the planet.

That said, I’ve got a pretty good RCOB going at the moment.&#160 At the fuckheaded school admin who got his rocks off on this particular power-trip:

COLUMBUS, Georgia (AP) — A high school student was suspended for 10 days for refusing to end a cell phone call with his mother, a soldier serving in Iraq, school officials said.

And how dare&#160 this young snot-nosed whelp talk to his beloved mother, whom he won’t see for a year – eh, you Islamonazi-felching, NEA-fellating asshats?

The 10-day suspension was issued because Kevin Francois was “defiant and disorderly” and was imposed in lieu of an arrest, Spencer High School assistant principal Alfred Parham said.

One wonders where the father was in all this.&#160 I know for a fact that, had that been me, there wouldn’t have been a sufficient number of Jawja-state troopers to keep me off that motherfucking son-of-a-bitch Parham.

The confrontation Wednesday began after the 17-year-old junior got a call at lunchtime from his mother, Sgt. 1st Class Monique Bates, who left in January for a one-year tour with the 203rd Forward Support Battalion.

Cell phones are allowed on campus but may not be used during school hours.

I hope they remember that if there’s ever a Columbine-style shoot-’em-up there.&#160 That’s right, fuckheads – slap the hand of little Missy as she tries to call 911 – “No, young lady, you can’t use that cell phone to likely save our lives – school rules, you know.”

When a teacher told him to hang up, he refused. He said he told the teacher, “This is my mom in Iraq. I’m not about to hang up on my mom.”

Hell no,&#160 he’s not about to hang up on a conversation during lunchtime (when he’s not in class, and thus not disrupting the school day) to talk to a mother he won’t see until next year.&#160 Where the royal fuck does this Draconian teacher get off, anyway?

Parham said the teen’s suspension was based on his reaction to the teacher’s request. He said the teen used profanity when taken to the office.

Gasp!&#160 Arrrrrgh!&#160 The assistant assfucker principal got a verbal kick to the crotch and couldn’t take it!&#160 How very humiliating!&#160 How very unbecoming!

How very fucking appropos.

“Kevin got defiant and disorderly,” Parham said. “When a kid becomes out of control like that they can either be arrested or suspended for 10 days. Now being that his mother is in Iraq, we’re not trying to cause her any undue hardship; he was suspended for 10 days.”

Be glad it wasn’t me with whom you were dealing, Parham, you smarmy little pisspot.&#160 You’d’ve gotten a lot more than a cussing out, you stupid bastard.

Bank on that.

Denizens, in addition to the Donks being craven cowards, remember how I’m always telling you about how they constantly accuse conservatives of the very things of which they themselves are guilty in spades?

(Note to the black community:&#160 Yeah, I said “spades”.&#160 Deal with it.)

Well, that point was once again driven home Friday by Senate Minority&#160 (Great Honkin’ Cthulu&#153, it still feels great to say that (grin)) Leader “Dingy” Harry Reid.

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My brother has officially entered his Mid-Life Crisis&#153.

He went out today and traded in his dumpy red Ford Escort for a lease on a sleek white 2005 Nissan Altima.&#160 Lemme tell you something – if a bell or whistle exists, it’s on this car.&#160 Wow.

And he’s going on a date tonight with quite the hottie (if the pictures are to be believed), then he’s got a date next week with…you guys sitting down?…a nineteen-year-old.&#160 Yes – nineteen.&#160 As in, one-nine.

Can I hurry up and turn 50, please?

In the meantime, in Indiana, some cowardly fuck punk-jobber is riding around in an Oldsmobile of undetermined year or color, having pretty much totalled Mama’s and Delfts’ three cars today.

Yeah.&#160 Three.&#160 I’m still trying to wrap my mind around that one.

That stupid little coward-assed fuckhead best not come down this way, if he knows what’s good for him.

UPDATE:&#160 At any rate, guys, you can help by praying that Delfts & Mama somehow find a low-cost means of dependable transportation to get them around.&#160 They really&#160 didn’t need to lose all three of their cars right at the moment.

Thatisall, and thanks.

What’s that the Bible said about the blind leading the blind?&#160 Something about both falling into the ditch?

Drudge has the scoop on a Mike Wallace interview with Vladdy Pee-Yewtin to appear on 60 minutes&#160 this coming Sunday.&#160 (Not that I’m going to watch that birdcage liner of a program, but that’s not the point here.)

A combative Vladimir Putin tells Mike Wallace he should question his own country’s democratic ways before looking for problems with Russia’s. The Russian president also says the U.S. shouldn’t try to export its democracy, as it is trying to do in Iraq, in an exclusive interview to be broadcast on 60 MINUTES Sunday May 8 (7:00-8:00 PM, ET/PT) on the CBS Television Network.

Wallace gets quite a reaction from Putin by asking him about a recent change the Russian leader made. Says Wallace, “There was a time when the regional governors were elected, correct? And all of the sudden, Putin says, ‘No, no, no. I shall appoint the governors.’ That’s democracy? That’s not democracy the way I understand it,” says Wallace. “The principle of appointing regional leaders is not a sign of a lack of democracy,” Putin retorts. “You’re absolutely wrong. For instance, India is called the largest world democracy. But their governors have always been appointed by the central government and nobody disputes that India is not a democracy,” says Putin.

Yeah, well – both&#160 of you are blooming idiots.&#160 For the 143,161st time – we live in a representative republic – not&#160 a democracy.

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Cthulu forbid that we don’t give every leftist group of fucktards their chance to throw Christians under the bus.

This week’s candidate is the Hindu cult religion, which is now pouting after a Christian group almost literally yanked the microphone out from under their noses.

People of all religious faiths are invited to gather today at Plano City Hall for National Day of Prayer, but to the frustration of some, this year’s annual event will have a decidedly Christian cast.

Y’know, what pisses me off about that little blurb is that they say that like it’s a bad thing.

Then again, we are&#160 talking about the Dullest Moaning Snooze, which used to be a conservative paper until it ran its liberal counterpart out of town.

It’s all about timing, fair play and “guidelines,” said the Rev. Roy Frady, organizer of the prayer service for the city, its leaders and residents.

Absolutely.&#160 And if you follow the rules and win the game, we tend to have a name for those who subsequently criticize you:&#160 “Sore Losers”.

Established by Congress in 1952, prayer day “transcends differences, bringing together citizens from all backgrounds” for the country’s good, according to the event’s national task force. And for the last two years, Christians, Jews, Hindus, Bahais and others have directed the day’s prayers at Plano’s City Hall.

This year, Mr. Frady beat them to the punch, reserving the City Council chambers for a noon event led solely by Christian pastors – as the task force would have it.

“I learned what the rules were, and I booked it early,” said the pastor of Plano’s WillowCreek Fellowship.

The city makes its meeting spaces available to the public, first-come, first-served.

“We don’t discriminate, and we don’t allow anyone to discriminate,” Mayor Pat Evans said.

Fine and dandy.&#160 Frady followed the rules and won the competition.&#160 So what’s the problem?

But while open to all, “at City Hall, it should be interfaith and intercultural … inclusionary, not exclusionary,” said Madan Goyal, a Plano resident and Hindu layman who helped organize the last two events at City Hall.

So let me get this straight:&#160 Here’s a Hindu fuckhead who’s gotten to control the mike the last two years, excluding folks like, say, we Southern Baptists who don’t buy into their belief system, so we’re&#160 kinda excluded from these shindigs…but get a Christian pastor in there, and despite&#160 the fact that this cow-worshipping turd is invited, it’s still “exclusionary”???

Give.&#160 Me.&#160 A.&#160 Fuckin’.&#160 Break.

“Frady has the right to have a function, and it’s important what he’s doing,”

…but that’s not good enough for this next asshole – he’s gonna get his shot in, too, isn’t he?

but on city property it shouldn’t be restrictive, said Bob Martin, who worked with Mr. Goyal on past events.

WITY (What’d I Tell Ya)???&#160 You can have your Unitarians, your Buddhists, your Shintoists, your Chakras-and-Crystallites, anyone who doesn’t&#160 call on the name of Creator God and his son, the Lord Jesus Christ, dominate this service for years on end…but just let the Christians have one&#160 year to promote our&#160 message, and suddenly we’re the bad guys who aren’t “inclusive”.

Martin, here’s a clue:&#160 How about a nice, big, heaping helping of STFU, hm?&#160 Take your bullshit about “inclusiveness”, turn it sideways and shove it up your roody-poo candy-ass.

The interfaith group won’t lead a service this year because City Hall, they said, is the appropriate venue for prayers for Plano’s government and people.

Mr. Frady agrees. And now in charge, he said he wants to give pastors from Christian churches large and small “the opportunity to lead their city in prayer.”

Religion in Plano is predominantly Christian, the pastor said. And other faiths, he said, have had a disproportionate influence on past prayer day events.

“The last two years, they’ve had exclusive use of the microphone,” he said of Mr. Goyal and his interfaith group.

Not this year, Mr. Frady said.

“I would love for everyone to join us in a synergy of prayer, but I’m not going to give up the microphone,” he said.

“That’s fine, as long as they’re not on city property,” said Mr. Goyal, who said he plans to attend the City Hall event.

See what I mean? The cow-fellaters have no problem shoving their&#160 message down our throats on public property, just don’t let the Christians have equal time – right?

I’d love to be down there during the service, and in Goyal’s ugly-assed face.&#160 While eating a triple-meat-triple-cheese Whataburger&#153.&#160 Just as an “in your face” to the son-of-a-bitch.

F.E.T.E, as BC would say.

(cheerleaders)Say Gang,
Are the Wildcats gonna win this game
(everyone)HELLLLLLLLLL, NO!!!!
(cheerleaders)So who is it, say yell it, spell it…

-From “Say Gang”, a very popular cheer back in the 60s/70s/80s

Okay, Denizens, here’s yet another clue into how Absolutely Friggin’ Ancient&#153 your King & Tyrant is.&#160 This was the Numero Uno cheer which started off every pep rally and football game back when I was growing up.&#160 And it was interactive, to a certain degree; while the cheerleaders were busy spelling the name of our school mascot, we in the crowd would alternate with them by yelling “HELLLLLLL, NO!!!” at the top of our lungs.

Well, from what I understand, that particular cheer was phased out shortly after I left “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there), to be replaced by more generic, vanilla, boring&#160 chants.&#160 You know, stuff like “Win the game.&#160 Rah.”

Well, as the legend goes, to try to spice things up a bit, the cheerleaders started incorporating some…ah…routines&#160 into the act.&#160 You know…burlesque choreographed step routines.

Well, anyway, if a certain Demoscummic state legislator has his way, then boy howdy, that’s&#160 gonna come to a screeching halt, by gum!

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Lot of you might have been wondering where the SpatulaGoddess had run off to.

Well, fret not.&#160 The Royal Hottie had her internet connection go toes up Sunday.&#160 Lucklily, her noble hubby Dave seems to have it fixed.

In addition, the family’s been entertaining visitors:&#160 LC Humble Devildog has spent a couple days in Madison South (Austin).&#160 Talked to them both this evening on their way home from Chez TwoDragons.

So, relax.&#160 The Parenthetical Statements&#153 will be cranking out again in no time.

It’s no great secret that I…ahhhhh…still weigh more than I ought. (cough)

But I am NOT&#160 taking this dare.

The burger war is growing. Literally. Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub, which lost its crown as the home of the world’s biggest burger earlier this year, is now offering a new burger that weighs a whopping 15 pounds.

Dubbed the Beer Barrel Belly Buster, the burger comes with 10.5 pounds of ground beef, 25 slices of cheese, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions, a cup-and-a-half each of mayonnaise, relish, ketchup, mustard and banana peppers – and a bun.

It costs $30.

And here I thought Fuddrucker’s burger was huge.

Day-um.&#160 Just, day-um.

“It can feed a family of 10,” said Denny Liegey Sr., the restaurant’s owner.

Or me and my brother, whomever can finish first. (grin)

Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub had offered a 6-pound burger – with 5 pounds of toppings.

In February, a 100-pound female college student became the first to eat the burger within the three-hour time limit. Kate Stelnick, of Princeton, N.J., was awarded a special certificate, a T-shirt and other prizes and Leigey picked up the $23.95 tab for the burger.

Y’know, I think I’d’ve paid real money to see that.

One month later, the Clinton Station Diner in Clinton, N.J., introduced a 12.5-pound burger dubbed Zeus.

So Liegey responded, and the Belly Buster was born.

Over the weekend, four men took the challenge, but couldn’t get through the entire burger. They opted for doggie bags, instead.

“It’s a little too much for me to handle,” said Steve Hepburn, of Clearfield. “It’s like trying to eat half a cow.”

Nope, no way am I trying that, no way, no how, uh-uh, nope, fuggeddaboudit…

Drudge had this blurb about a school lockdown over a…(snicker)…over…(chuckle)…well, here, you read it:

A 911 call about a possible weapon at a middle school prompted police to put armed officers on rooftops, close nearby streets and lock down the school.

All over a giant burrito.

Someone called authorities Thursday after seeing a boy carrying something long and wrapped up into Marshall Junior High School.

The drama ended two hours later when the suspicious item was identified as a 30-inch burrito filled with steak, guacamole, lettuce, salsa and jalapenos. It was wrapped inside tin foil and a white T-shirt.

“I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry,” school Principal Diana Russell said.

Russell said the mystery was solved after she brought everyone in the school together in the auditorium to explain what was going on. Afterward, eighth-grader Michael Morrissey approached her.

“He said, ‘I think I’m the person they saw,”‘ Russell said.

The burrito was part of Morrissey’s extra-credit assignment to create commercial advertising for a product. “We had to make up a product and it could have been anything. I made up a restaurant that specialized in oddly large burritos,” Morrissey said.

Well, the story did mention a “possible weapon”, didn’t it?

You&#160 eat a 30″ burrito and see if you&#160 don’t turn into…well…you know…

C’mon, Muir – I thought you said you were gonna do something radical&#160 with Sam’s hair… (grin)

Somewhere in Farmers Branch, Texas RightAboutNow&#153, a man sits in a cubicle lavishly decorated in black balloons, black streamers and black confetti – for that man “celebrates” (cough) the start of his next&#160 fifty years on this mortal coil.

I know this for an absolute, incontrovertible fact – for said man is my dear, beloved brother, who was born this day, fifty years ago.

Happy Birthday, Mike Crager.

Those of you who know me – or were here for the Saturday portion of the Texas Blogfest – know that I run a small network here at my humble abode.&#160 I have the file/internet server, the Big Box&#153 in my room, another desktop in another room, and about two or three laptops going at any one time.&#160 The Big Box&#153, though, is where I do most of my work and keep most of my stuff.

Last night, as I was trying to upgrade the Big Box&#153 to posher digs, I lost the primary drive on the machine – an 18.2 SCSI.&#160 At first, I thought the SCSI card had crapped out.

This morning, I heard the dreadful sound of my drive…clicking.&#160 Click…click…click…

First thought:&#160 Oh, shit.

Hence, I’ll be devoting my time to getting the Big Box&#153 back online, which means that posting may be a bit light.

Watch this space.

UPDATE:&#160 As it happens, all I’ve lost to this point is the D: drive.&#160 I’ve narrowed it down to either the drive or the connector cable.

If it’s the D: drive, it’s not terrible, but that’s where I kept a lot of the mp3s.&#160 Hilary Rosen might think that’s a good idea, but for me it’d suck royally.

Stay tuned.