This is what happens when you have a cupcake team led by a cupcake coach.
UBuff did it with defense. That, and maybe a slight assist from the officiating.
The Bulls took Cardinal fumbles to the house on two consecutive drives to break a close game open. The first of those fumbles possibly shouldn’t have come to pass.
Two plays previous to that fumble, Cardinal back MiQuale Lewis took a pitch from the one around left end and scored. Trouble was, they spotted the ball at the 3 for a 2-yard loss. After a false start penalty, Cardinal QB Nate Davis came back around left end, got stood up, then had the ball knocked loose, whereupon Bull cornerback Mike Newton picked up the loose ball at the eight and took it home to give UBuff the lead.
On the next series, the snap got muffed, and the ball squirted back about 10 yards during a rugby-like scrum. Sherrod Lott picked up the ball and took it back 74 yards for the score. Ball State would get no closer than 11 the rest of the way.
Drew Willy was 19-28-206 and three touchdowns. Naaman Roosevelt caught 10 of those passes for 116 yards. James Starks ran for 82 yards on 19 carries.
…
Memo to all you T-sip Shortdick fans: To Hell with 39-33 at the hands of TTech. I’d love to see you pussies play OU now.
The Sooners lost DeMarco Murray on the opening kick to a knee injury, then spent the rest of the game proving that they didn’t necessarily need him. Bradford & company rolled up 38 points in the first half, led by QB Sam Bradford, TE Jermaine Gresham, WR Enrique Iglesias and backup running back Chris Brown.
It helped that Missouri kept shooting itself in the foot. The Tigers missed a FG opportunity in the first quarter, and the defense forced two Mizzou turnovers in the first half in rolling to a 38-7 halftime lead.
Bradford was 34-49-384 and two touchdowns. Iglesias caught nine of those for 125 yards and two scores, and Ryan Broyles added 85 yards on six receptions. Chris Brown rushed for 122 yards on 27 carries, and third-stringer Mossis Madu added 114 yards on 15 carries.
T-sips, you honest-to-whatever-dirty-orange-deity you serve don’t want any part of the Crimson & Cream right at the moment. Something tells me that you’d wind up wishing it was still 45-35.
…
Remember when I fretted Friday about going oh-fer this weekend?
At least the Cowgirls held up their end of the fucking bargain.
You heard it here first: The Cowgirls are going to miss the playoffs, and Coach Cupcake will have his fat, can’t-win-a-playoff-game-to-save-his-life ass canned.
Just under nine minutes left in the fourth quarter, and Dallas has a 10-point lead. Pittsburgh’s offense has gone nowhere fast the entire game because Dallas’ defense has played tight all the way through. They even stuffed Pittsburgh earlier in the quarter on fourth-and-goal from the ½-yard line.
Coach Cupcake naturally (and, I will say, apparently – because I have no way to prove this except with the results) orders the Dallas secondary back into its familiar, bend-bend-bend-break zone. Boom – suddenly Bennie Roethelisberger can do no fucking wrong, as the swiss-cheese secondary starts allowing the Pitch-and-Catch-Burgh receivers free rein all over the field.
Meanwhile, offensive – damn, is he ever offensive – coordinator Jason Garrett is either handing off to Tashard Choice on off-tackle dives, or sending Romo back seven steps, where he gets his ass sacked, forcing a subsequent checkdown pass to Jason Witten, who is downed far short of the first down, forcing a punt.
So here comes Roethelisberger. Boom – 14 yards to Nate Washington. Boom – 21 yards to Washington again. After two plays that netted nothing, boom – Roethelisberger scrambles for 9-3/4 yards to the C’girl 23.
Now. 100,000,000 people across the nation – and every Steeler fan in Pittsburgh – and every-fucking-one in the Cowboy organization EXCEPT WADE PHILLIPS ANS HIS HALF-ASSED DEFENSIVE COACHING STAFF!!!!! – knew bloody well what was coming next: Big Bennie falls forward for the first.
Which is why they gave it to them. Play your normal defense instead of ADDING A FIFTH DEFENSIVE LINEMAN AND CROWDING THE CENTER, THUS REDUCING THE CHANCES OF ROETHELISBERGER TRYING TO SNEAK…
…oh, but no. Not Wade. Not “Mr. Fix-It”. Can’t do that – would make too much fucking sense.
Boom – pass to Washington again for 16 more yards. Boom – pass to Steeler TE Heath Miller for a 6-yard touchdown.
And we’re tied. Time for the two-minute drill.
Someone on one of the Dullest Moaning Snooze’s Cowboy blogs called Tony Romo the 2nd coming of Danny White. I’m starting to think that’s the case.
After another stupid-assed run call by Garrett, here comes Romo, wanting to make up for all those pickoffs he missed while he was injured, going to his safety blanket Jason Witten – NEVER MIND THE FACT THAT HE WAS TRIPLE-COVERED!!! NO, HE HAS TO FORCE IT ANYWAY!
Boom. Pick-six, Shae Townsend. Ball game.
A team takes on the personality of its head coach. Landry’s teams were cool, calm and collected. Johnson’s teams were passionate, hated losing, loved to gamble and generally didn’t care what you did, because they were going to do what they did anyway and shove it down your throat.
Coach Cupcake’s teams…have spoken for themselves.
Fire Wade Phillips. Now.
This week: 2-1. Overall: 58-17.
This is the last edition of the PFW until bowl season, when I declare another Guaranteed Loss Night™.
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