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Denizens, this has been one hell of a fortnight.

Long story short, I have four machines – a work box, the Big Box&#153 on which most stuff gets done, my Windoze POS at work, and a work laptop my company graciously gives me to work on.

Over the last week-and-a-half or so, parts of three of those machines all crashed on me.&#160 The reason I haven’t been posting is because I’ve been rebuilding shit.

I’d write a clever little vignette about it, but I promised you this, and Bah Gawd&#153 (a little Good Ol’ JR lingo, there), I’m gonna deliver.

So therefore, here at last is the long-awaited (cough) Perfect Football Weekend&#153 Overview for 2012.

If you’ve been reading me for any length of time – and yes, I know, that’s only about Six or Seven&#153 of you – then you know what this is about:&#160 Every Thursday or Friday or so during football season, I chronicle the exploits of my favorite football teams – “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there), college & pro.&#160 I size up their games for a given weekend…and if my teams all win, it’s a PFW.

(As usual, I don’t give two shits about your&#160 teams – that’s what the comments are for, of course.&#160 Knock yerselfs out.)

Occasionally, I will declare a PFW by executive fiat, just because a certain team I hate with the purplest of passions loses.&#160 That’s going to happen a lot more this year, for reasons I will explain in a bit.

For now, though, here are the teams I will follow in 2012:

High school:&#160 The (Fort Worth, TX) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.&#160 Ged Kates left for allegedly greener pastures (presumably, a school with a secondary), so the keys to the Yellow Jacket varsity go to a gent by the name of Todd Whitten:

Todd Whitten, who brings 12 years of head coaching experience at the college level, is in his first season as the head coach at Arlington Heights High School.

Having spent the past five seasons as the head coach at Sam Houston State. Whitten compiled a 25-28 record at Sam Houston State with his best seasons being 2006 and 2007, when the Bearkats had runner-up finishes in the Southland Conference with 6-5 and 7-4 records, respectively.

Uh-oh.

Well, at least Omar Valadares is coming back.&#160 I think.

College:&#160 The Texas Christian University Horned Frogs.&#160 Used to be, going up against a Big XII opponent was a big gear-up for Gary Patterson and this bunch.

Now it’s going to be every week.

As of July 1st, the Tadpoles are officially a member of the Big XII.&#160 And we’re about to find out just how good of a coach Patterson is.&#160 That “score one more than they do” philosophy is going to get several tough tests early.&#160 And late.&#160 And often.

Casey Pachall comes back; whether he’s clean or not is anyone’s guess.&#160 Ed Wesley left to go & get cut by the Dallas Cowgirls (he’s better than Felix “Ouch” Jones, but don’t tell Jerrah Jones that); linebacker Tanner Brock and a handful of others got busted in a drug sting a few months ago, so they’re gone, and all of a sudden depth is somewhat of a problem.&#160 Tank Carder is a Beefalo Bill now, so no help there, either.

On the plus side, Josh Boyce is back for his junior year, Antoine Hicks is a senior, and David Porter is an up-and-coming sophomore.&#160 Stansly Maponga will anchor the defense, with Jason Verrett on the back end.

Gonna be a long year for these guys.&#160 Let’s hope it’s not a sudden left turn into a black hole…

College:&#160 The University of Oklahoma Sooners.&#160 Everyone watch out.

Bob Stoops comes back for yet another season as OU coach.&#160 Except this time, his little bro Mike is back with him.&#160 Last time they were paired, all hell broke loose on defense for the Sooners.

Landry Jones is back for his senior season at quarterback, and he’ll have Jaz Reynolds & Justin Brown to throw to while that massive O-line blows holes open for Dominique Whaley.&#160 Demontre Hurst and Joseph Ibiloye (and yes, I believe that’s (TCU-ex) Alex’s brother.

OU is picked to win the Big XII.&#160 Again.&#160 Doesn’t bode well for TCU, but…

College:&#160 The University of Nebraska Cornhuskers.&#160 Bo Pelini has a lot&#160 to prove.&#160 A helluva&#160 lot.

Touted as a rah-rah type who always got the most out of his players as a defensive coordinator, Pelini’s teams have spit the bit at crucial times the last three years.&#160 Repeat this performance, and boosters may be calling Jerrah Jones to see if the Cowboys will give them back Bill Callahan.

Taylor Martinez, he of the dreadfully flat passing motion, is back for his junior year at quarterback.&#160 And if he and senior running back Rex Burkhead don’t put up a lot of points, the Huskers simply aren’t going to win.&#160 Period.

The defense is not the Blackshirts of the past.&#160 The secondary is extremely suspect.&#160 The front seven are okay, but this group is extremely susceptible to the fast quarterback – and brudda, the Big Ten’s got a couple of those.

I wouldn’t count on them going anywhere but the Citrus Bowl.&#160 If that.

College:&#160 The University of Wisconsin Badgers.&#160 Don’t know much about them, except that Montee Ball is back at running back for them. I’m just following them out of respect for the Humble DevilDog – and HDD, I expect you to check in occasionally this season, hear?

Pros:&#160 The Dallas Cowboysgirlz.&#160 Complete Year #2 of the Jason Garrett Era, and the Red-Headed Genius has gotten rid of some of the deadwood.

Terrence “Bust” Newman is gone; Keith Brooking & Bradie James have all but retired; the O-line has been rebuilt, as has the secondary.

And “El Choko” is still there.

Yes, sportz fans, Tony “Daddy!!!” Romo is still your quarterback, so I’m tempted to write this bunch off, but we’ll see.&#160 Laurent Robinson, Romo’s favorite target, is history, but they say Dez Bryant looks a lot better than last year, what with a full training camp soon-to-be under his belt.&#160 And DeMarco Murray has a full season of experience now, and is the #1 running back at the moment, so we’ll see how that goes.

Demarcus Ware anchors the D-line, with Sean Lee in the middle and Brandon Carr & Morris Claiborne on the back end.&#160 It could&#160 be a pretty solid unit.&#160 We’ll have to see.

First preseason game is Monday night against Da Raiiiiiiduhhhhhs, so there’ll be a post up either tomorrow or Saturday.&#160 See you then.

UPDATE:&#160 Oh, and that part about teams I hate with a purple passion?

Any game that Penn State loses this season will make it an automatic PFW.&#160 No matter what.

Heights, TCU, Cowgirlz, OU, Nebraska, Bucky all lose?&#160 Penn State loses, it’s a PFW.

ThatIsAll&#153.&#160 As Kamal Khan once said:&#160 “Let the sport…..commence!!!

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Several years ago the University of Mississippi gave into the political correctness crowd and gave Colonel Reb a dishonourable discharge. The stated reason for this was that the colonel glorified a racist past and thus was not suited to continue as school mascot. After much discussion and a vote by the student body, the new mascot became the black bear. Since then several thins have happened.

First, on Thanksgiving weekend of 2011, the Mississippi State Bulldogs went bear hunting and got their bear. Second, Colonel Reb just refuses to stay gone. Most folks in this area, including the on air personalities on at least one TV station continue to refer to Ole Miss as the Rebels.

Having said that, this year the Bulldogs will again get their bear, or kick Rebel butt, depending on how you wish to see it! 🙂

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I got this from Professor Mentu over at the University of Man blog, who in turn got it from Comedy Central’s (?) Tosh.0.

See if you don’t find yourself nodding your head at least once.&#160 Whilst trying to not have a coronary from laughing yer ass off.&#160 (It’s mildly NSFW, but it’s not that bad.)

Fret not, Denizens. The PFW overview is on its way.

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(Hat tip:&#160 Hoft, as usual.)

And at the other extreme (i.e. the heterophobic pro-sodomite militant leftards) comes this video.

I’m putting it below the fold to give you time to put down all throwables/breakables/shootables, etc.&#160 I guaran-damn-tee you that you’ll have your own personal RCOB&#153 going within fifteen seconds, and by the end will be wanting to print out a picture of this bastard to take to the range with you.

So here we go.&#160 Don’t say I didn’t warn you:

Now, this vid was originally taken down after the asslick got caught in the resulting shitstorm; what you’re watching here is a re-upload. The pussy who actually committed this heinous act of sheer chickenshittery has his YouTube page here.&#160 Do note the overwhelming&#160 display of support he’s receiving.&#160 &#160 (The guy is supposedly some sort of instructor/lecturer, which is the reason this has been added to “Asshattery in Academia”.)

Lord, please don’t ever send me to Arizona.&#160 I don’t think I could get out of there without being arrested for shoving a cattle prod up this prick’s ass and locking it on “high”…

UPDATE(s):&#160 Well, first & foremost, the pusstard appears to have gotten shitcanned for his shit.

Adam Smith, former CFO and treasurer of medical supplies manufacturer Vante, caused quite a stir today when he put up a video of himself bullying a Chick-fil-A drive-thru employee in Tucson on YouTube.

Smith berates the worker about her company in the video, which was initially titled ”Reduce $’s to Chick-Fil-A’s Hate Groups.” It has since been taken down (though others have uploaded it too).

[…]

Vante didn’t approve of Smith’s behavior, and he’s no longer working there.

Here’s the press release from Vante announcing that Smith is “no longer an employee of our company,” effective immediately:

TUCSON, AZ–(Marketwire – Aug 2, 2012) – The following is a statement from Vante:

Vante regrets the unfortunate events that transpired yesterday in Tucson between our former CFO/Treasurer Adam Smith and an employee at Chick-fil-A. Effective immediately, Mr. Smith is no longer an employee of our company.

The actions of Mr. Smith do not reflect our corporate values in any manner. Vante is an equal opportunity company with a diverse workforce, which holds diverse opinions. We respect the right of our employees and all Americans to hold and express their personal opinions, however, we also expect our company officers to behave in a manner commensurate with their position and in a respectful fashion that conveys these values of civility with others.

We hope that the general population does not hold Mr. Smith’s actions against Vante and its employees.

Oh, and the other update?&#160 If you go to that site of his I linked, you’ll see that he’s put up a cycling video…and taken down all the support.

Aw.&#160 Shucky darn.&#160

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Denizens, we here at the Southern Command would like to know if you and yours went out today and supported your local Chick-fil-A.

So, did you???

Don’t make me have to issue a rapid response order to the alert squadron of black helicopters!!!

I for one supported them at breakfast and the Generalette and myself supported them AGAIN for lunch today.

If you haven’t yet, get thee to one poste haste! That’s an order!!!!!!

DISMISSED!!!!™

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Damn.&#160 Did we say “10-point lead”?

Soooooo very sorry.

How about a 12-point thumping???&#160

Tea Party favorite Ted Cruz was headed toward victory Tuesday night, pulling off a stunning coup and besting veteran Lt. Gov. David Dewhurst in a fierce, hard-fought, multi-million dollar Republican quest for Texas’ first open Senate seat in a decade.

In the GOP battle that became “establishment” versus Tea Party, Cruz held 56 percent of the vote to Dewhurst’s 44 percent, with 6.780 of 7,957 precincts reporting.

Now that probably won’t hold up, especially if the Southern Command down there goes ahead and takes their foot off Houston’s throat (grin), but this is damned encouraging to behold.

Memo to Davey Pants Pee-yew-hurst:&#160 This is what you get for running like a Demoscum, boy.&#160 Don’t come to us calling yourself a conservative when your entire campaign against Cruz came from the leftards’ Short-Bus playbook – right down to that fuckheaded Sandy Fonzo “Ted Cruz should be ashamed of himself, I don’t know how he can sleep at night” bullshit.

Demoscum&#160 use those tactics, chump.&#160 And you gave a textbook demonstration on why you’re well-known in Texas as a “moderate” (read:&#160 libtard).&#160 The only good thing about your excuse-for-a-campaign is that, because he endorsed you, I can now go back to calling him “Big Dickhead Perry”.

Now.&#160 On to November, and yet another kicking of Donktard ass.&#160

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