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Denizens, this has been one hell of a fortnight.

Long story short, I have four machines – a work box, the Big Box&#153 on which most stuff gets done, my Windoze POS at work, and a work laptop my company graciously gives me to work on.

Over the last week-and-a-half or so, parts of three of those machines all crashed on me.&#160 The reason I haven’t been posting is because I’ve been rebuilding shit.

I’d write a clever little vignette about it, but I promised you this, and Bah Gawd&#153 (a little Good Ol’ JR lingo, there), I’m gonna deliver.

So therefore, here at last is the long-awaited (cough) Perfect Football Weekend&#153 Overview for 2012.

If you’ve been reading me for any length of time – and yes, I know, that’s only about Six or Seven&#153 of you – then you know what this is about:&#160 Every Thursday or Friday or so during football season, I chronicle the exploits of my favorite football teams – “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there), college & pro.&#160 I size up their games for a given weekend…and if my teams all win, it’s a PFW.

(As usual, I don’t give two shits about your&#160 teams – that’s what the comments are for, of course.&#160 Knock yerselfs out.)

Occasionally, I will declare a PFW by executive fiat, just because a certain team I hate with the purplest of passions loses.&#160 That’s going to happen a lot more this year, for reasons I will explain in a bit.

For now, though, here are the teams I will follow in 2012:

High school:&#160 The (Fort Worth, TX) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets.&#160 Ged Kates left for allegedly greener pastures (presumably, a school with a secondary), so the keys to the Yellow Jacket varsity go to a gent by the name of Todd Whitten:

Todd Whitten, who brings 12 years of head coaching experience at the college level, is in his first season as the head coach at Arlington Heights High School.

Having spent the past five seasons as the head coach at Sam Houston State. Whitten compiled a 25-28 record at Sam Houston State with his best seasons being 2006 and 2007, when the Bearkats had runner-up finishes in the Southland Conference with 6-5 and 7-4 records, respectively.

Uh-oh.

Well, at least Omar Valadares is coming back.&#160 I think.

College:&#160 The Texas Christian University Horned Frogs.&#160 Used to be, going up against a Big XII opponent was a big gear-up for Gary Patterson and this bunch.

Now it’s going to be every week.

As of July 1st, the Tadpoles are officially a member of the Big XII.&#160 And we’re about to find out just how good of a coach Patterson is.&#160 That “score one more than they do” philosophy is going to get several tough tests early.&#160 And late.&#160 And often.

Casey Pachall comes back; whether he’s clean or not is anyone’s guess.&#160 Ed Wesley left to go & get cut by the Dallas Cowgirls (he’s better than Felix “Ouch” Jones, but don’t tell Jerrah Jones that); linebacker Tanner Brock and a handful of others got busted in a drug sting a few months ago, so they’re gone, and all of a sudden depth is somewhat of a problem.&#160 Tank Carder is a Beefalo Bill now, so no help there, either.

On the plus side, Josh Boyce is back for his junior year, Antoine Hicks is a senior, and David Porter is an up-and-coming sophomore.&#160 Stansly Maponga will anchor the defense, with Jason Verrett on the back end.

Gonna be a long year for these guys.&#160 Let’s hope it’s not a sudden left turn into a black hole…

College:&#160 The University of Oklahoma Sooners.&#160 Everyone watch out.

Bob Stoops comes back for yet another season as OU coach.&#160 Except this time, his little bro Mike is back with him.&#160 Last time they were paired, all hell broke loose on defense for the Sooners.

Landry Jones is back for his senior season at quarterback, and he’ll have Jaz Reynolds & Justin Brown to throw to while that massive O-line blows holes open for Dominique Whaley.&#160 Demontre Hurst and Joseph Ibiloye (and yes, I believe that’s (TCU-ex) Alex’s brother.

OU is picked to win the Big XII.&#160 Again.&#160 Doesn’t bode well for TCU, but…

College:&#160 The University of Nebraska Cornhuskers.&#160 Bo Pelini has a lot&#160 to prove.&#160 A helluva&#160 lot.

Touted as a rah-rah type who always got the most out of his players as a defensive coordinator, Pelini’s teams have spit the bit at crucial times the last three years.&#160 Repeat this performance, and boosters may be calling Jerrah Jones to see if the Cowboys will give them back Bill Callahan.

Taylor Martinez, he of the dreadfully flat passing motion, is back for his junior year at quarterback.&#160 And if he and senior running back Rex Burkhead don’t put up a lot of points, the Huskers simply aren’t going to win.&#160 Period.

The defense is not the Blackshirts of the past.&#160 The secondary is extremely suspect.&#160 The front seven are okay, but this group is extremely susceptible to the fast quarterback – and brudda, the Big Ten’s got a couple of those.

I wouldn’t count on them going anywhere but the Citrus Bowl.&#160 If that.

College:&#160 The University of Wisconsin Badgers.&#160 Don’t know much about them, except that Montee Ball is back at running back for them. I’m just following them out of respect for the Humble DevilDog – and HDD, I expect you to check in occasionally this season, hear?

Pros:&#160 The Dallas Cowboysgirlz.&#160 Complete Year #2 of the Jason Garrett Era, and the Red-Headed Genius has gotten rid of some of the deadwood.

Terrence “Bust” Newman is gone; Keith Brooking & Bradie James have all but retired; the O-line has been rebuilt, as has the secondary.

And “El Choko” is still there.

Yes, sportz fans, Tony “Daddy!!!” Romo is still your quarterback, so I’m tempted to write this bunch off, but we’ll see.&#160 Laurent Robinson, Romo’s favorite target, is history, but they say Dez Bryant looks a lot better than last year, what with a full training camp soon-to-be under his belt.&#160 And DeMarco Murray has a full season of experience now, and is the #1 running back at the moment, so we’ll see how that goes.

Demarcus Ware anchors the D-line, with Sean Lee in the middle and Brandon Carr & Morris Claiborne on the back end.&#160 It could&#160 be a pretty solid unit.&#160 We’ll have to see.

First preseason game is Monday night against Da Raiiiiiiduhhhhhs, so there’ll be a post up either tomorrow or Saturday.&#160 See you then.

UPDATE:&#160 Oh, and that part about teams I hate with a purple passion?

Any game that Penn State loses this season will make it an automatic PFW.&#160 No matter what.

Heights, TCU, Cowgirlz, OU, Nebraska, Bucky all lose?&#160 Penn State loses, it’s a PFW.

ThatIsAll&#153.&#160 As Kamal Khan once said:&#160 “Let the sport…..commence!!!”