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Denizens, today is a rather unhappy anniversary for me.

Five years ago – August 25, 2007 – La Reina Espátula&#160 took all her stuff (packed in about 25 boxes or so), her little rebellious twat of a daughter…

(You remember the one, right?&#160 Busted for shoplifting, tested positive for dope, claimed she was pregnant by a regular snot-nosed douchebag?&#160 The one whom, at 19, was three years her senior at 16?&#160 Thus making it statutory rape?&#160 Yeah, that one.)

Anywayz, she packed it all up in her little Ford Ranger and high-tailed it back to Plano (we lived in N. Dallas at the time).

What I’ve never told anyone…is that this cost me more than just a marriage and a chance to raise a daughter.

At the time, we had been searching for a house, and had made an offer on a nice little 5-bedroom cottage in Irving.&#160 (Five bedrooms is sort of a misnomer – the previous owners had taken part of their attic and part of their walk-in master bedroom closet and carved out three baby bedrooms out of it all, making it five.)&#160 We had offered $110 large for it (for those of you in Mykki Chickenshit’s Church of the SubTarded, that’s $110,000); the owners wanted $120K.

On the day La Reina Espátula&#160 packed her shit & left, I received a call from our broker.&#160 The owners had accepted our price.&#160 We had the house.

Except for She Whose Daughter Was Too Delicate To Be Disciplined&#153, we didn’t.

(Oh, incidentally, Denizens – she did all this while I was away working an allnighter on a project that evening, so I wasn’t even there to try & talk her out of it.&#160 Ironically enough, this all went down on a Saturday, just like this one.)

I’ve always wondered what would have happened had La Reina&#160 had the intestinal fortitude to tough it out one more day.&#160 Something I’ll never know, huh?

OTOH, had she stayed, I never would have met Mrs. Venomous, so there’s that.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):&#160 And it had better be&#160 that too, cap&#237ce?

VENOMOUS:&#160 (sigh) Yes, dear.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):&#160 KA-BONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!

Ow.

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