Denizens, today is a rather unhappy anniversary for me.
Five years ago – August 25, 2007 – La Reina Espátula  took all her stuff (packed in about 25 boxes or so), her little rebellious twat of a daughter…
(You remember the one, right?  Busted for shoplifting, tested positive for dope, claimed she was pregnant by a regular snot-nosed douchebag?  The one whom, at 19, was three years her senior at 16?  Thus making it statutory rape?  Yeah, that one.)
Anywayz, she packed it all up in her little Ford Ranger and high-tailed it back to Plano (we lived in N. Dallas at the time).
What I’ve never told anyone…is that this cost me more than just a marriage and a chance to raise a daughter.
At the time, we had been searching for a house, and had made an offer on a nice little 5-bedroom cottage in Irving.  (Five bedrooms is sort of a misnomer – the previous owners had taken part of their attic and part of their walk-in master bedroom closet and carved out three baby bedrooms out of it all, making it five.)  We had offered $110 large for it (for those of you in Mykki Chickenshit’s Church of the SubTarded, that’s $110,000); the owners wanted $120K.
On the day La Reina Espátula  packed her shit & left, I received a call from our broker.  The owners had accepted our price.  We had the house.
Except for She Whose Daughter Was Too Delicate To Be Disciplined™, we didn’t.
(Oh, incidentally, Denizens – she did all this while I was away working an allnighter on a project that evening, so I wasn’t even there to try & talk her out of it.  Ironically enough, this all went down on a Saturday, just like this one.)
I’ve always wondered what would have happened had La Reina  had the intestinal fortitude to tough it out one more day.  Something I’ll never know, huh?
OTOH, had she stayed, I never would have met Mrs. Venomous, so there’s that.
MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):  And it had better be  that too, capíce?
VENOMOUS:  (sigh) Yes, dear.
MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):  KA-BONNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
Ow.