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One of the things that I’ve loved about football is its relative lack of political correctness.&#160 You run, you hit, you tackle, you have fun.&#160 Nothing sissified about this game, no sir.

(Well, except when it comes to protecting certain wusses (*coughDonnaMcNabbTerriOwenscough*), but we won’t talk about that&#160 right now.)

But that phenomonon that one of my old friends called “creeping liberalism” is starting to worm work worm its way into the game…particularly the college variety.&#160 Which is where we find ourselves as we kick off this week’s PFW.

You already know how the NCAA tried to stick its nose into Florida State’s business where it didn’t belong, and how Florida State’s subsequent threat to sue the Hell&#153 out of them caused the NCAA to cave in.&#160 (The No Cojones Asinine Asshelmets&#160 decided after that to pick on someone who might not have the resources to fight back – namely, the University of North Dakota.&#160 We’ll see how that one goes, won’t we?&#160 Can someone say “equal protection”?&#160 Sure you can…)

Anyway, Saturday comes the annual football war between the Oklahoma Sooners and the (*hack, spit*) Texas Shorthorns (*hack, spit*).

(Memo to TU’ers everywhere:&#160 This ain’t personal.&#160 I just despise Mack Brown – he’s a fucking outsider who’s never won anything substantial in his career.&#160 Granted, he replaced the offensive snoozefestmeister Fred Akers, but then Akers never should’ve been there in the first place.&#160 Anyway, get rid of Mack Brown, go tell Tom-ass Hicks to go eff himself, and all will be forgiven.)

For the last few years, this game has been officially known as the Red River Shootout.&#160 (Those of us with ages approaching that of dirt remember it simply as OU-Texas&#160 or Texas-OU,&#160 depending on one’s allegiances.)

But apparently the term “shootout” is a little too violent&#160 for the pansy-assed, limp-wristed wussy-types who seem to have gained control over the promotion of the game.&#160 It’s now going to be called the (*hack, spit*) Red River Rivalry&#160 (*hack, spit*).

You heard right, Sportz Fanz&#153.&#160 The Red River Rivalry.

This is the best they could come up with?&#160 A namby-pamby, non-threatening, non-violent, pussified&#160 boring name like Red River Rivalry?????

Memo to the fuckhead(s) who came up with this one:&#160 A rivalry,&#160 if you’d bother to look up the definition, encompasses – in the cases of colleges who participate in more than one sport – more than just one game in a given sport.&#160 OU and Texas are more than just rivals in football – they’re in the same conference, so that means they’re rivals in basketball, baseball, soccer, track, badminton, tiddlywinks…you name it, they’re rivals therein.

This is one game.&#160 One freakin’ solitary game.&#160 You dumbasses have taken the pageantry, the atmosphere, the abject hatred&#160 each school has for the other and gone and weakened it by giving it a pussified&#160 name like “Red River Rivalry”.

Fuck each and every one of you up the ass, and the Yugo you rode in on.

Awright, that said – let’s get to the game and crank up the PFW, shall we?&#160 The 100th installment of OU-Texas starts at noon Saturday in the Cotton Bowl, and TU is heavily favored.&#160 And, based on this year’s performance, the Shorthorns have every right to be.&#160 They’re the number-two ranked team in the country, and they’re going up against a group that couldn’t beat the motley crew that gave the SMUT Shitland Ponies their only victory.

(UPDATE:&#160 The Shitland Ponies have just beaten UAB.&#160 UAB, how the Hell&#153 did you let that&#160 happen???)

TU has possibly the nation’s best quarterback in Vince Young, while the Sooners are starting a freshman who didn’t even begin the season as the starter.

All that said, OU generally reserves some of its best games for TU, so we’ll see.&#160 But it won’t surprise me if Little Mackie Brown finally breaks through against Bob Stoops in a big way tomorrow.

Also tomorrow, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets draw the short straw as far as scheduled games go (honestly, if you’re in high school, you want to be playing Friday night – not Saturday afternoon at 3:00 when you could&#160 be watching OU-Texas) when they take on the Dunbar Wildcats.&#160 Dunbar is a high-powered team that’s nationally respected and feared.

In basketball.

Memo to Duke Christian:&#160 You’ve already lost one district game – that had best be the extent of it.

And the TUC…uh, TCU…Horned Frogs find out just how much of a chance they have at a Mountain West Conference championship tomorrow afternoon when they take on the Wyoming Cowboys up in Laramie.&#160 TCU’s been decent thus far, but this game scares me to death.&#160 They lost their season opener to Florida, and have not lost since, with three of their four wins coming in rather convincing fashion.&#160 Give me TCU and 10 points – and even that might not be enough.

Number 11 LSU (there…that’s more like it) travels to Vanderbilt for an evening game – and while Vandy will put up a fight, I think LSU has too much for them.

Sunday, The World’s Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever&#153, Donna McPansyass and his half-assed sister Little Terri Owens come to Dallas to take on the Cowboys.&#160 As usual, the ‘Boys won’t be able to get to Donna because his line holds on every fucking play, and should they be lucky enough to lay so much as a finger on either Donna or Terri, the NFL will find a way to outlaw the technique used next season.&#160 That fat honkin’ Campbell’s-soup-hawkin’ mommy of Donna’s will bleat and squeal about it until they do.

(We’re still waiting, of course, for the NFL to take action against the Beagles for driving Michael Irvin’s noggin into the Veterans Stadium concrete and ending his career.&#160 But don’t so much as breathe&#160 on Terri Owens – that’s a flag and a fine.&#160 Isn’t it, Paul Tagliabue, you goat-felching dickweed?)

Can you tell I’m not real crazy about my chances for a PFW this weekend?

Back Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, let the virtual tailgating begin!

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