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Denizen Elephant Man has provided us with our outrageous humor for the day.

Clicketh thou here, and haveth nothing in thy mouth whilst doing so (translation:  massive spew warning).

The E-man is obviously bucking for a place on the masthead, no doubt…

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The Minne-haha ViQueens find themselves in a little bit of a controversy this week.

Seems the Viking rookies took the team on a lake cruise – and…well…things got a little out of hand.

Chartered boat crew members have detailed their allegations to authorities of Minnesota Vikings players engaging in a sex party during a lake cruise, the St. Paul Pioneer Press reported.

[...]

A lawyer for crew members on the two boats involved in the cruise on Lake Minnetonka said the workers told investigators they had to walk around players and women engaged in sex acts.

“There was lap dancing with a fair amount of cash floating around the floor with the dancers, leading quickly into sexual acts in a nature so explicit imagination wasn’t necessary,” said attorney Stephen Doyle, adding that in the atmosphere the crew “were frightened to death.”

Y’know, I thought that getting rid of Randy Moss was supposed to put a stop to shit like this.  Hm.

Let’s go to the PFW.  My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets have the South Hills Scorpions this week.  Given SHHS’ pattern this season – if Heights scores, they win.  The Scorpions are 2-4 on the season, and both those wins were shutouts.  Heights should win this in a walk.

Then again, they should’ve beaten Western Hills a couple of weeks ago, so…

Westpoint invades Fort Worth Saturday as the Army Black Knights come to town to take on the TCU Horned Frogs.  This is TCU’s Homecoming – and, as is tradition, you always try to schedule someone you can beat for Homecoming.  For some reason, however, TCU always seems to have trouble with Army, so we’ll see.

Saturday afternoon, 11th-ranked Florida and the Urban Meyer Express rumbles into Baton Rouge for a matchup with Bo Pelini and 10th-ranked LSU.  Honestly, I don’t think the Tigers can hang with the Gators, so give me LSU and 13.

Saturday evening, Bob Stoops and the Oklahoma Sooners will travel to Lawrence, Kansas to take their frustrations out on the KU Jayhawks.  Each OU loss has been followed by a fairly comfortable win, and Rock, Chalk, Jayhawk ain’t much to write home about this year, so look for the Sooners to win comforably.  (They’d better, if Stoops doesn’t want to start hearing rumblings about his job.)

Sunday afternoon, Eli Manning, Jeremy Shockey and the New York Football Giants come to Texas Stadium to take on the Dallas Cowboys.  Thus, of course, raising the question:  Which Cowboy team shows up?  The one that embarrassed itself vs. Washington & Oakland?  Or the one that manhandled Donna McNabb and Terri Owens last week?

Let’s hope Bill Parcells learned his lesson last week and allows Drew Bledsoe to start throwing the ball all over the lot.  NY’s secondary is good, no question, but Philly’s secondary had three Pro Bowlers in it.  I’m gonna say Dallas by four.

We’re back Monday with the recap.

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