Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 12:25
Well, whaddya know? The Dullest Moaning Snooze finds itself actually good for something.
About three weeks after running a series of articles about Cactus, Texas – a town up near the Oklahoma panhandle, the Immigration guys finally nutted up and busted some pendejos.
The federal raid that shut down the Swift & Co. meatpacking plant Tuesday in Cactus, Texas, left hundreds of families scattered and the future unclear for a town that survives on a mix of illegal immigration and dangerous work.
Translation: Swift was violating the law; so were these illegal alien boyos chingos; they got their asses caught red-handed and went scurrying like the cucarachas they are, and now Swift gets to look forward to actually paying for legal labor. Did I get that about right?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:45
Erm, not so fast on the Demoscummic takeover of the Senate there, Sparky. Looks like one of the leftist fucktards just had himself a stroke.
(Which is, come to think of it, hard to figure out. A stroke is defined as a brain hemorrhage, right? So how can a Demoscum have a hemorrhage of something he doesn’t possess?)
Anyway, let’s roll the story, courtesy of NewsMax…
Democratic Sen. Tim Johnson of South Dakota suffered a possible stroke Wednesday and was taken to a hospital, his office said.
If he should be unable to continue to serve, it could halt the scheduled Democratic takeover of the Senate. Democrats won a 51-49 majority in the November election. South Dakota’s governor, who would appoint any temporary replacement, is a Republican.
And if he has better than the brains of a tick, anyone he appoints to fill any vacancy will be a Republican. Which would leave the split at 50-50 – actually, 50-48-2 if you really wanna get technical – and ties go to Dick Cheney. Meh.
South Dakota Secretary of State Chris Nelson said there are no special restrictions on such an appointment and a replacement does not have to be in the same political party.
Sounds to me like Chrissie’s a Demoscum whistling past the graveyard, doesn’t it?
Watch & pray, Denizens. Watch & pray.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:49
No time to rant tonight, Denizens, so here’s something courtesy of LC John Wardle:
TERRORIST ACTIVITY HAS CAUSED THE DEMOCRATS TO TAKE MEASURES IN ORDER TO PROTECT THEIR FAIR-HAIRED CANDIDATE FOR THE PRESIDENCY. FOR SECURITY REASONS, THEY HAVE SUGGESTED THAT HILLARY HAVE A MUSLIM NAME. SO, FROM NOW ON, PLEASE REFER TO HER BY HER NEW MUSLIM NAME:
SELDOM BIN LAYED
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 20:16
Well, all I know is that Texarkana Liberty-Eylau won, and the Cowgirls didn’t.
Dallas got a sack of Drew Brees on it’s first defensive sequence, then a 77-yard run for a touch by Julius Jones on their first possession.
Other than a shouldn’t-have-been TD catch from Widdle Terri Owens, this team mailed the rest of it in. Was about as pathetic a performance as I’ve seen – on all sides of the ball.
(Yes, even Romo sucked. You knew he was gonna have a bad game eventually. It’s a pisser that it had to be against Dallas Southeast.)
And I’m sorry – the Saints ain’t that good. Yeah, they’ve got a halfway-decent scene going for themselves, but they simply ain’t. That. Good.
Trouble was, the Cowboys abandoned the running game after that 77-yarder, and let the Saints back up. And teams’ll kill you when you do that.
Last week: 1-1. Overall: 55-24.
With all due respect to LC/Denizen RobertHuntingdon, I really need more than two teams playing (except for the bowl season) in order to have a PFW. If there’s no f’ball (you bet) on Saturday, it can hardly be called perfect, hm?
The PFW will see you guys in about a week or so.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:39
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:59
Hm. Maybe I should turn this into a football blog.
(Oh, BTW – you didn’t hear from me last night because I had company at Chez Spatula. And she takes priority over any of you. )
Anyway, I’ve been shamed into doing a bonus PFW by our good friend, LC & Denizen Robert Huntingdon. So once more into the breach, dear friends, as Korrioth’s dear godson Chang told Kirk once…
LSIK&T: Waitaminnit. That damnfool Chang was your godson???
KORRIOTH: Eh. Father liked him and made me promise.
LSIK&T: Couldn’t Kang have picked someone a little less smarmy, like maybe Klaa?
KORRIOTH: He was Korax’s nephew. It would’ve began a blood feud.
LSIK&T: (rolls eyes) Another one?
KORRIOTH: That’s why Father mated with T’Pring. He was tired of all the feuding. Besides, Father says she was better in bed than Mara.
LSIK&T: Point. I s’pose that as long as you’re not related to Lursa or B’Etor… (snicker)
Okay, where was I…?
Oh. Saturday at 2:00, Texarkana Liberty-Eylau takes on Canyon in the quarterfinal round of the state UIL playoffs. TLE took out a pretty good Royse City team, so I like their chances here.
Sunday, we have Cowboys versus Cowboys Southeast. Sean Payton’s New Orleans Saints come to town to take on Payton’s last team – y’know, that one coached by the Noo Joisey Con Man…?
Dallas and NO are pretty much mirror images of each other. Both rely on an offense led by a dynamic quarterback, a solid running game and a stellar defense (NO’s, in fact, is based on more than a few former Cowboys.) Both have identical 8-4 records, but Dallas’ was crafted against better competition, if for no other reason than that the NFC East is tougher than the NFC South.
Yet, N’awlins has owned the ‘Boys the last few years in the regular season, so we’ll see.
We’re back Monday for the recap, assuming Korrioth hasn’t shoved a painstick up my ass for that Lursa/B’Etor remark…
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 9:10
Denizens, in light of what just happened with the lady who lit the match aboard the American Airlines jet, the Imperial Torturer (long may he show Islamonazis videos of Helen Thomas and Al Franken in the nude) has come up with the site of the year.
Massive – and I do mean massive – spew warnings in effect.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:39
Item: The Dallas Independent School District hires an accountant for what the Dullest Moaning Snooze called the district’s “fraud-busting Office of District Integrity”. He claimed on his résumé that he was a Certified Public Accountant.
Item: Said accountant quit today after the Snooze learned that his CPA certification had been revoked ten years ago.
Item: The DISD school board is minority-majority. Of the nine trustees, there’s only one white guy.
Now, before any of you libtard assholes start your bleating about racism, lemme make this point: The minorities in this town have for decades decried everything being under so-called white control, screaming bloody murder about racism, insisting that desegragation lawsuits go on ten years longer than they really needed to, and kvetching looooooong and louuuuuuud about how they could run things as well, if not better.
And so they got their chance. And we’ve had everything from love triangles among the high muckety mucks to furniture scandals to purchasing card abuses…well, you get the idea.
And now this.
If there is one bright spot about the Doublewide Bitch Supreme taking my boy with her…it’s that he won’t be educated in this hellhole.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:09
In Part the 34,918,622nd in our ongoing series of showing how leftards go to the courts to get what they can’t get any other legitimate way, we find a “resident” of Farmers Branch – that heroic town standing up for its rights under the duly enacted laws of the United States of America and trying to protect itself from illegal alien putas – suing that city for supposedly passing anti-illegal alien ordinances behind closed doors:
A Farmers Branch resident is suing the city and City Council members, saying they violated state open meetings laws by deliberating the merits of recently adopted immigration-related ordinances and policies behind closed doors.
There’s just one teeeeeeeny, tiiiiiiiny, sliiiiiiiiiiiiight problem with that particular claim: It ain’t true.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 19:15
Royse City 21, Texarkana Liberty-Eylau 27
at TCU 38, Air Force 10
Oklahoma 21, Nebraska 7
Dallas 23, New York Football Giants 20
Whenever Roger Staubach lost a game he had a chance to win in the last two minutes (and it wasn’t often, trust me), they used to say that he didn’t so much lose as he just ran out of time.
The same could be said about Richard Morrison and the Royse City Bulldogs.
Down by six points, Royse City had the ball at the Liberty-Eylau 25-yard line and five seconds left for one more play. Morrison tried to buy some time by stepping forward at the line of scrimmage but ran into Liberty-Eylau’s Devin Bruce, who dragged him down for a sack to end the game.
“We had three receivers on the left, and I was trying to get the ball to the back of the end zone,” said Morrison, who finished 20-for-30 passing for 264 yards.
Were the PFW to continue into next week, Eylau would be the high school entry. However, there likely won’t be another one until bowl season starts.
If I were the Air Force play caller, I’d've called some of their plays in different sequence Saturday afternoon. They were able to move the ball against TCU, but not nearly often enough. In fact, their only offensive touchdown came after the issue had already been decided (their other TD came on a blocked punt).
Ballard did a fairly decent job, going 20 of 25 for 220. Much of that was obtained in the first half, when the Falcon corners were playing light years off the Frog receivers. Snap, quick pass to the flat, gain monster yardage, repeat. Pitch-and-catch can be fun.
And once the Frog defense figured out what Air Force was doing, it was fairly easy to stop them.
The SpatulaGoddess is particularly proud of her fellow Leanderite, Paul Thompson, at this point.
Thompson went 19 of 34 for 265 yards and two touchdowns in leading the 8th-ranked Oklahoma Sooners over the 19th-ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers. OU’s quick-as-lightning defense beat the massive Nebraska line at the point of attack and shut out an offense ranked in the top 10 in the nation in both total offense and scoring offense.
Widdle Jeri Shockey said earlier in the week that there was “no way in Hell” that the Cowboys would beat the Giants in New York.
Like some fries with that crow, Jeri?
Granted, the Giants are down right now. And I’ll give you that critical players for them are hurt.
That said…Since the 36-22 drubbing in Week 6, the Cowboys have been the better team. Not the louder one (Shockey, call your office (snicker)) – just the better one.
Romo was 20 of 34 for 257, and the ground game rushed for 100 yards. Marion Barber had 76 of those, showing that while Julius Jones may be the flashier runner, Marion Barber is the more effective one.
Widdle Terri Owens had eight catches for 84 yards, but he also had another couple of drops, bringing him to 13 for the season. And we cut Keyshawn for this guy…?
Martin Gramatica kicked a 46-yard field goal with 1 second left in the game after missing his first attempt from 44 in the first quarter, silencing the pro-Mike Vanderclank apologists for at least one week. Neener, neener.
UPDATE: And while I’m thinking about it – would someone tell me what the Hell it is with the Giants and those damned ugly red practice-jersey-type unis?
This is the second year in a row they’ve worn those POS jerseys for the Cowboys up in the Meadowlands – what, do they think there’s some sort of voodoo in those things?
Giants, drop those damned things, quick. The only unis that are uglier are anything the Oregon Ducks happen to be wearing.
This week: 3-1. Overall: 54-23.
The PFW will return for the bowl edition December 19th, when TCU kicks off the bowl season.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:42
As we turn into the 2006 home stretch, we mourn that this is the last regularly-scheduled shot at a Perfect Football Weekend – so, let’s get to it.
(Actually, I wanted to lead with a story about Bob Stoops and why he missed the Nebraska-Colorado game because he was playing a pickup game of hoops with his kids – but I can’t find the link, so… (sigh))
Tomorrow night, the Royse City Bulldogs have the area round of the playoffs in Tyler versus Texarkana Liberty-Eylau.
The winner of this game becomes my high-school team for the rest of the playoffs. If it’s Royse City, the reason is obvious (even for that fuckhead dick jockey from Austrailia who thinks that this time, maybe I won’t “enhance” his comments ). However, if it’s Eylau, they become my favorite team – because earlier in the season, they kicked Sulphur Springs’ backwoods asses, 40-30. Mheh.
Also tomorrow night, eighth-ranked Oklahoma is in the Big XII Championship Game against 19th-ranked Nebraska.
Three years ago, Nebraska would’ve been the PFW team in this matchup. Amazing how things change. Anyway, OU’s favored by about 4, so you can have Nebraska & three.
Saturday afternoon, TCU will close out it’s regular season at home against the Falcons of the Air Force Academy. TCU’s favored by 18 – and, given how the Froggies have trouble with the passing game, it’s anyone’s guess as to why. Fisher DeBerry likes to throw the ball all over the lot, and they destroyed Army a few weeks back, whereas TCU merely beat the Black Knights. I’ll take TCU, but I’m only gonna give you 10 – and even that scares me.
Sunday afternoon, the Romo Era gets its first major test (second, if you count the Carolina game) as the ‘Boys travel to Joisey to take on the New York Football Giants. NY’s hurt, though some of their injured players might be back for this one. This game still scares me, though, because I still don’t trust that Cowboy secondary – especially against Eli Manning. We’ll see.
We’re back Monday for the recap. In the meantime, you’re invited to handicap USC-UCLA, just for shits & giggles.