Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 21:27
Her pain is finally over.
Bakker Messner has passed at age 65. Her ex-husband, Jim Bakker, personified everything that was is wrong with the genre we know today as teleevangelism, when he single-handedly (single dick-ed-ly?) destroyed an entire industry with one single extramarital affair.
For five years thereafter, she portrayed the penultimate stand-by-her-man woman – the type that Queen Hilarious pooh-poohed in 1992 before becoming that type of woman herself. (Bill brings in that campaign cash, y’know.)
Spatula City BBS! extends its condolences to Tammy Faye’s family. You guys have our prayers.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 6:57
You’re a star. A Big Man On Campus, as it were. Have been since your college days. You have endorsements running out the wazoo. Hell, your endorsements have endorsements.
People worship the ground on which you walk. You don’t have mere stardom predicted for you – you have superstardom virtually guaranteed. At least two or three publications have already annointed you the greatest to ever do what you do, you’re that good. It’s only a matter of time before the championships, the trophies and even more accolades begin to flow for you like champagne.
You have it fucking made. I mean, we are literally talking set for freaking life here. You could live off the interest from the interest from your endorsements alone.
Moreover, all competition for your job has just recently been removed, banished to the dregs of the underworld of your industry. In short, you couldn’t script your life any better.
So what in Cthulu’s fucking name are you doing pissing it all away by engaging in criminal activity?!?!?!?! Why the Hell do you risk it all by doing something you know to be illegal???
I tell you, Denizens, our society’s going down the tubes at warp speed. When people to whom we enjoy looking up – folks like Vick and Chris Benoit – begin falling by the wayside and letting us down, it’s bleak days for all of us.
(Incidentally, guys, while I said previously (and still say, for that matter) that I don’t think steroids as we know them had anything to do with this, the Benoit link states that Benoit had “steroid testosterone” in his system, as if testosterone is now some sort of anabolic steroid. Hell, I guess that means that I and the rest of the Right Side of the Blogosphere are at risk for ‘roid rage?)
They’re calling for a minimum one-year suspension of Vick. Sorry, but that’s too fucking lenient, IYAM. I’d be in favor of a lifetime ban for this. These allegations unequivocally point to a network of organized crime here. Perhaps not the Tony Soprano-type mob activity of which you & I think when we hear that phrase, but organized crime nonetheless. And to let Vick ever play in the NFL again would allow people to link the two – which is the absolute last thing the NFL should want.
PETA, much as I despise them usually, has it right on this one: Sack Vick.