Denizens, I got nothing tonight – and the General seems to have gotten rained on and gone off AWOL (  ), so we reach into the Grab-Bag™ for this gem from the Mothergoose in Denton.
It’s long, so it’s below the fold.
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The Department of You Want Fries With That?™ brings us the story of this dumbass.
JACKSONVILLE, Fla. (AP) – Jacksonville police say Reginald Peterson needs to learn that 911 is not the appropriate place to complain that Subway left the sauce off a spicy Italian sandwich.
This guy has  to be a Demoscum.  There can be no other possible explanation.
Police said the 42-year-old man dialed 911 twice last week so he could have his sub made correctly. The second call was to complain that officers weren’t arriving fast enough.
Probably because they were too busy laughing their asses off. 
Subway workers told police Peterson became belligerent and yelled when they were fixing his order. They locked him out of the store after he left to call police.
When officers arrived, they tried to calm Peterson and explain the proper use of 911. Those efforts failed, and he was arrested on a charge of making false 911 calls.
KORRIOTH:  Sounds to me like a member of the Church of the SubTarded™
LSIK&T:  Point.