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Before we start the recap, I’m going to note that Smurf Turf Fucknozzle State (which the hubby of one of my Denizens calls the “Bluefield Bastards”; look for that in an upcoming PFW™ post) hung on against Tyrod Taylor (what the hell kinda name is “Tyrod”?  Someone working on the car when they gave birth or sum’pin’?) and the Va Tech Hokies 33-30.

Va Tech gave the game to the Broncettes.  Taylor fumbled at his own 31, which led to a Smurf FG, and the Hokies got a punt blocked on the next possession, leading to a touchdown.

Then  Va Tech got called for roughing the punter on the Smurfs next  possession, allowing the Horses’ Asses to keep the ball and drive for another touchdown.  17-0 before the end of the first.

Now, I deliberately didn’t watch the game, but I’m willing to bet that there was no roughing the punter there.  Since last year’s Fiesta Bowl, Smurf Turf State has become America’s Darlings, so you can’t so much as breathe on ‘em.  They, however, can grab & jerk your quarterback around by the facemask without it getting called.  Somehow, I get the feeling that the game tonight was as poorly officiated as the one in Arizona.

Without that 0-17 deficit staring them in the face, the Hokies kick the Broncettes’ asses all over FedEx Field.  You jackwagons running the polls need to remember that before you annoint these pansies as the Greatest Things Since Sliced Bread™.

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David Buehler made his case for being the Cowboys’ kicker, nailing four of four field goal attempts (one each at the end of each half); the one at the end of the game gave the ‘Boys the win.

Stephen McGee performed admirably (for a third-stringer); he had a nice 41-yard bomb to Sam Hurd for a touchdown in the second that was quite pretty, and probably sealed roster spots for both himself & Hurd.

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Heights rolled to a 27-14 halftime lead and was on its way in the third quarter to putting Azle away when Omar Valadez lost a snap deep in Hornet territory.  Azle drove it back down to make the score 27-20.

At which point, the Jackets said “enough of this”, and scored the last 21 points.

241 total yards for all-everything back Marquis Jackson, and Valadez went 7-10-173 and 3 scores.

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Baylor took OU to the wall a few years ago.

Utah State did again Saturday night.

Up by only four at the time, DeMarco Murray took a handoff from Landry Jones’ hand and barely got there:

Given a few extra moments to think about it, Bob Stoops made a pivotal decision about how best to stave off a surprising charge from Utah State.

Needing less than a yard to move the chains, he put the ball in DeMarco Murray’s hands and went for it on a fourth down in his own territory.

Murray needed to dive and stretch the ball out in front of him as he headed toward the sideline, picking up the most crucial of his career-best 218 yards rushing and sending No. 7 Oklahoma to a 31-24 victory against the Aggies on Saturday night.

Jones went 17-36-217 and a couple scores (both to Ryan Broyles), but also threw a couple picks.  Murray’s yard was one of 218 on the night, a career-best for him, and he added the 63-yard score that sealed the game a couple plays later.

Neither offense nor defense played very well, though, according to Bob Stoopes:

“Both sides of the ball, I thought we were inconsistent and I’m really not at all pleased with it in any way,” Stoops said.

At least he’s got a couple games to get better before taking on TU.

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Zac Lee & Cody Green are still at Nebraska.  But if Taylor Martinez has anything to say about it, they may turn into the Huskers’ version of Wally Pipp.

The only redshirt or true freshman quarterback to start a season opener for Nebraska, Martinez became the first Husker signal-caller since 2003 to run for more than 100 yards in a game.

Martinez led Nebraska to touchdowns on his first two series and on four of his eight. Green led the Huskers to touchdowns on his two series. Lee, who entered in the middle of the fourth quarter, handed off twice on a short touchdown drive and then ran out the last four minutes.

Okay, so it’s only Western Kentucky.  Still, any offense out of a Nebraska quarterback these days has gotta count for something.

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I’ve seen Bucky, and I’ve seen UNLV.  I could have called this one in my sleep.

And, as I fell asleep before game’s end, pretty much did.

Two first-half blunders by Wisconsin allowed UNLV to stay close, even though the Badgers had dominated the first two quarters.

In the second half, Wisconsin eliminated the mistakes and buried the Rebels.

John Clay and Montee Ball each ran for two touchdowns to lead No. 12 Wisconsin past UNLV 41-21 on Saturday night.

Clay finished with 123 yards on 17 carries and Ball had 79 on 16 rushes. The Badgers outscored the Rebels 24-0 in the third quarter after leading 17-14 at half.

Bret Bielema can stay another week.

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Great.  Honkin’.  Cthulu.

Am I gonna have to implement the SpatulaLine™ on Kansas U. f’ball?  What in the sam-hell was this shit?

Kansas committed three turnovers, including a fumble with less than four minutes to play, as it opened the 2010 football season with a 6-3 loss at the hands of North Dakota State. KU committed two fumbles and had a pass intercepted in the end zone, as it suffered a season-opening loss for the first time since 2003.

The Jayhawk defense held North Dakota State to just 168 total yards and 10 first downs, but KU was penalized eight times for 70 yards several of which extended NDSU drives. The Kansas offense out-gained NDSU 293-168, but was stalled by its’ three turnovers.

Turner Gill, you just lost your opener, at home, to a (someone correct me here?) Division I-AA school.  A game where your third-stringers  should have kicked major Bison ass goes in the loss column for you.

Old friend, are you familiar with the concept of “attaboy/awshit”?

You might consider studying up on it a bit.

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A Dalton pass leading to the first points for a team in orange?  Check.

A successful fake punt leading to an opponent’s touchdown?  Check.

A defense that had Dalton on the run all night long?  Check.

Fortunately for me and the Horned Frogs, we weren’t in Phoenix, and this wasn’t the Fiesta Bowl.  Dalton overcame what he called “freshman mistakes” and guided the Froggies on four methodical scoring drives to lift the Purple.  A snap that OSU quarterback Ryan Katz didn’t see coming and had to kick out of the back of his own end zone provided the final margin.

Dalton was 17-of-27 for only 175 yards, but Ed Wesley & Matthew Tucker combined for 208 yards on the ground as TCU wore down a good Beaver defense (aided, in part, by the Texas heat, as they opened the roof at Cowboys Stadium and let in the 80-plus-degree Texas night – much to my everlasting chagrin).

The Frogs have some problems they need to work on – the secondary isn’t the shutdown unit it was last year, though Greg McCoy will be a good one.  Wayne Daniels isn’t Jerry Hughes yet, but he may very well become that, as he had two sacks against a very good OSU line.  And there’s Dalton’s sudden tendency to throw to the other team’s jersey, which he needs to fix, as well as ridding himself of the notion that he can force throws at will.

This week:  5-1 (Dallas-Miami, being preseason, doesn’t count).

Another major problem is the Frogs’ new uniforms.  We’ll cover that, and give thanks to the high-school schedule gods, when the PFW returns on Thursday.