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Denizens, remember the story about the Ant and the Grasshopper?&#160 The one where the Ant worked his…well, his posterior sectionoid…off during the summer, and the Grasshopper mocked the Ant and blew his wad on Wine, Women And Song&#153?

Or somesuch.

And then the Grasshopper withered away and died come winter, while the Ant was safe, warm, and comfortable?

Now.&#160 Remember the 1990s version of it where the Grasshopper claimed speciesism, had Kermit the Frog come and sing on Oprah, and the Ant had all his stuff taken away from him and given to the Grasshopper, ala Communism?&#160 (Or Clintonism, as the case may be.)

Both versions are here, if you wanna read ’em.

Michelle Malkin has written a beautiful revision of the tale – and hopefully she won’t be too mad, ’cause I’m gonna borrow it and post it below the fold.&#160

In a meadow on a hot summer’s day, a Grasshopper was chirping and carousing his time away. He watched scornfully as an Ant nearby struggled to store up large kernels of food and build a secure nest. The Ant pulled overtime shifts to pay off his loans and accumulate retirement funds for the future.

“Give it a rest,” the Grasshopper said. “Why bother saving and slaving and toiling and moiling? Let’s party!” The Ant demurred: “I am planning ahead for winter and you should do the same.” The Grasshopper blew off the Ant, squandered his supplies the rest of the season, and abandoned his home while on vacation (paid for by tapping every last cent of his home equity gain) instead of holding down a job.

When winter came, the Grasshopper’s pantry was empty and his shelter ruined from neglect. The Ant, weary from planting, harvesting, and stocking up for months, was dining comfortably in his nest.

Cold, hungry, jobless, facing foreclosure, and up to his two pairs of eyeballs in debt, the Grasshopper limped to the Association of Community Winged Insects for Rescue Now and demanded recourse. The office was swamped with thousands just like him. ACWIRN immediately put the Grasshopper to work registering dead ants as new voters.

Funded with tax dollars from the rest of the meadow’s residents, ACWIRN organized mass protests at the Bank of Antamerica, ambushed its top officials at their private homes, harassed their children, and demanded that the meadow’s politicians halt all foreclosures (“We must keep Grasshoppers in their houses!”) and outlaw discriminatory lending practices against starving, homeless Grasshoppers (“Well-stocked shelters are basic insect rights!”)

The banking industry capitulated; the Orthoptera Lobby secured hundreds of millions of dollars in housing earmarks and grants and counseling subsidies to support the Grasshoppers with the shadiest credit and employment histories. Antie Mae, the meadow’s government-backed home lending giant, fueled the push for increased insect homeownership in the name of biodiversity. Its executives cooked the books and headed for the hills. Katie Cricket and the Mainstream Meadow Media joined the grievance-for-profit circus, profiling Grasshopper sob stories and drumming up ratings as bewildered Ants wondered who was looking out for them.

The banks drowned in toxic debt. More Grasshoppers fell behind on their mortgage payments. Bailout mania and panic gripped the meadow.

Our little Ant, minding his own business, heard a knock on his door one late winter night a year later. It was his old, sneering Grasshopper neighbor. With ACWIRN’s presidential candidate, Barack Cicada, now in office, the Grasshopper had been hired by the meadow as a tax collector.

“I’m here to take your provisions,” the Grasshopper cackled.

But it was the Ant who had the last laugh. “I’ve learned my lesson,” he told his shiftless friend. “Why bother saving and slaving and toiling and moiling? I’ve spent all my savings. I’m walking away from my mortgage. Thrift is for suckers,” the Ant said as he headed out the door, leaving the Grasshopper empty-handed.

Once again, Damned Good Stuff&#153 from the Word Processor of Malkin&#153.&#160

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This week’s edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 begins by noting the passing of the Matt Millen “Draft A Stud Receiver Every Stinkin’ Year*” era.

(*except for when they drafted Joey Harrington, after which they probably wish they had&#160 drafted a receiver)

Damn.&#160 There go the Lions-as-laughingstock days. (sigh)

Of Millen’s nine first-round selections, eight were offensive players.&#160 In the Lions’ first three games this year, they fell behind by at least 18 at some point, and by 21 twice.&#160 (For the baseball-minded among you, that’s like the Texass StRangers trading away four-fifths of what could have been a damned good starting rotation, then getting their brains beaten in by scores like 19-17 and 15-13…what?&#160 That actually happened?&#160 Why is Jon Daniels still here?)

On to the PFW.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets open district play tonight agasint the Dunbar Wildcats.&#160 Dunbar is 3-1, just like Heights, except they’re ranked top 5 in the area in 4A.

Then again, so was Birdville.&#160 Guess we’ll see what happens.

Saturday, Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls are a 6&#189-point road dog to Central Michigan, meaning the SpatulaLine&#153 is anything under 17.&#160 But who knows?&#160 The Bulls have been full of surprises this year, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that they actually win this one.

Also Saturday, the Nebraska Cornhuskers face their first real test of the season against Virgina Tech and College Football’s Second-Ugliest Uniforms Ever, Ever&#153.&#160 Same outfit that East Carolina upset in Week 1 of the season.

But one thing East Carolina has that Nebraska doesn’t is overall team speed.&#160 So the Huskers, who are favored at home by seven, probably don’t get the win here, but we’ll see.

Our marquee game for this week means that I don’t have a Snowball’s Chance In Hell&#153 of having a PFW thie week, because two of my teams play each other.&#160 Gary Patterson’s 24th-ranked Texas Christian Horned Frogs are going to play Bob Stoopes’ 2nd-ranked Oklahoma Sooners and their “new” no-huddle offense.&#160 And they have about as much chance with the Sooners this&#160 time as Heights did last week against Celina.

Oh, well.

Sunday’s game is the Dallas C’boys hosing the Warshingt’n F’skins.

MERLIN:&#160 You mean “hosting”.

KORRIOTH:&#160 You mean “Redskins”

VENOMOUS:&#160 No and no.

(If that doesn’t smoke out LC John Wardle, nothing will.&#160 )

Washington’s defense, looking for all the world like it was overrated to begin with, is now missing star acquisition Jason Taylor, who underwent surgery to repair an injured calf and is out indefinitely.&#160 The secondary is still a bad-assed unit, but Terrell Owens torched them for four TDs last year, and when you double Owens, you run the risk of getting killed by Witten.&#160 Add to that a quarterback trying to learn yet another new offense, a rookie head coach, and it could be a long afternoon for the Burgundy & Brie.

Which is fine.&#160 Just fine.&#160

We’re back with the recap Monday or so.&#160 In the meantime, Bucky is a 6&#189 road dog to Michigan – and my question, HDD, is “why?”.

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