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He’s in.

CHARLESTON, S.C. — Rick Perry said Saturday he’s running for president to “get America working again” and to bring Texas’ economic success and vision of limited government to Washington.

“That’s why, with the support of my family, and unwavering belief in the goodness of America, I declare to you today my candidacy for President of the United States,” he told a crowd of conservative bloggers meeting in South Carolina , the first southern state that will vote in the Republican nominating contest.

Now, those of you who aren’t the Uninitiated&#153 know that no one’ll ever confuse me with the president of the Big Dickhead Perry fan club.&#160 In fact, I’ve been downright inhospitable to the man.

But he has my vote.&#160 Primarily because no other candidate in this field has shown the cojones&#160 to call B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi what he is – a miserable failure in the White House.

Perry/Bachmann 2012.

Looks like ObamaCare is going to need life support.

And I couldn’t be happier about it. Read more here.

Just waiting for the impeachment vote to come up next…..

ThatIsAll&#153

I may be paranoid, but this looks an awful lot like the Administration trying to punish Standard and Poors.

Denizens, I was&#160 going to open the first Perfect Football Weekend&#153 of the year by pointing to the Philthydelphia Beagles and their post-NFL lockout/CBA agreement shopping spree (they just signed another&#160 big-name free agent, Steve Smith), and once again question why the NFL hasn’t come down on them for salary-cap violations (I promise&#160 you, they’re in violation of it, and it will eventually come out).

Then I read about this.

The Idaho Statesman is reporting that long time athletic director Gene Bleymaier has been fired in the wake of an NCAA investigation.

Bleymaier, who has been BSU’s AD since 1982, is credited with guiding the Broncos’ rise to national prominence in football. He was also responsible for Boise’s infamous blue turf.

The NCAA recently investigated BSU for numerous infractions involving multiple sports including football. An allegation of “lack of institutional control” is the most serious charge pending against the university. A hearing was held before the NCAA in June, and their ruling is anticipated in the near future. Boise State has already offered self-imposed penalties, but there is concern that the NCAA will add additional sanctions and penalties.

Now, they’re saying that the “major violation” was in women’s tennis – as if women’s tennis could possibly even have&#160 a “major violation”.&#160 That’s kind of like expecting a Starfleet shuttlecraft to have enough warp-core overload power to take out the planet-killer from The Doomsday Machine, y’know?

YeahRight&#153.

The football&#160 infraction, even they they don’t disclose the nature thereof and consider it “minor” up there, is quite “major” to me.&#160 I have long told anyone who would listen (and even some who wouldn’t) that Smurf Turf State wasn’t anywhere near&#160 as good as what they were being made out to be, and that they couldn’t win shit without trickery.

Well?&#160 What’d I Tell You&#153?!?!?!

We’ve waited long enough, let’s get to football.&#160 It’s first-preseason-game time for the Dallas Cowboys, who will be at the Death Star&#153 tonight to host the Denver Broncos.

This will be the usual first-preseason-game snoozefest – Tony Romo & Kyle Orton will get about a series each, although Widdle Timmi Tebow will lead what’ll seem like a cast of thousands fighting for backup spots on both rosters.

But it’ll be live football, dammit!&#160 Can’t get here soon enough, if you ask me.

We’ll have other games on the toob all weekend – Kansas City/Tampa Bay, Baltimore/Philthy & Jax/New England come to mind (and to my cable box’s schedule) – and if anything interesting comes from any of those, I’ll have it here, probably Sunday or Monday or so.

Stay tuned.

…comes from “Another Drew” on Patterico’s board, when he says…

There is now conclusive evidence that Osama Bin Laden is dead. Last week he registered to vote in Chicago.

Thread winner.&#160 Blog winner.&#160 Blogosphere winner.

The competition can stop now.&#160

Don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m fairly certain that thanks to all the farking “social justice” being spewed out by the Demonscums over the past couple of years, this sort of Bravo Sierra will INCREASE as the “fundamental transformation” continues under Dictator-for life-wannabe Al-Obambi.

First it was tossing out prayer and faith, then family values, then the definition of marriage, followed by corrupting our kids. Now we have another case of just plain ol’ no respect for human decency….well, just plain no respect at all. Just how far down into the pits of HELL are we going to watch our country fall into before WE THE PEOPLE fight back?

Yeah, I know I’m preaching to the choir….once again….for the umpteenth time.

All I have left to say is pray…..pray A LOT!!!

Dismissed&#153

I have discovered that both of my senators, and my congressman all voted in favor of the debt bill that was finally passed. This raises serious doubts in my mind as to their suitability for office.

Sanity appears to have held on in Wisconsin last night (h/t Drudge):

After tens of millions of dollars spent by outside interest groups, dozens of attack ads and exhaustive get-out-the-vote efforts, Democrats on Tuesday fell short of their goal of taking control of the state Senate and stopping the agenda of Gov. Scott Walker.

Republicans won four of six recall races, meaning the party still holds a narrow 17-16 majority in the Senate — at least until next week, when Sens. Robert Wirch, D-Pleasant Prairie, and Jim Holperin, D-Conover face their own recall elections. A third Democrat, Sen. Dave Hansen, D-Green Bay, easily survived a recall attempt last month.

Sens. Robert Cowles, R-Green Bay, Sheila Harsdorf, R-River Falls, Luther Olsen, R-Ripon, and Alberta Darling, R-River Hills, successfully defended their seats Tuesday.

Hey, unions!

This&#160 is what democracy looks like…!!!1!!ONE!!1!!ELEVEN!!!1!&#160

Juanita McRINO thinks we peons must have misunderstood&#160 him about all that business with Tea Partiers being “hobbits” and such.

No, you fucking son of a bitch – we understood you perfectly.&#160 Abso-fucking-lutely perfectly.

I’m now officially sorry I ever voted for your pompous ass, you asshatted pissweasel.

Moving on…

Pros:&#160 The Dallas Cowboys

Okay, who rehired Bill Parcells, put him on a diet & dyed his hair?

Jason Garrett, who comported himself well in the aftermath of the firing of Coach Stay-Puf in mid-season last year, seems to like doing things a lot like Parcells did.

Attention to detail is once again being preached.&#160 Those who embarrassed the team by scoffing at the dress code last year (Marion Barber, call your office) are no longer with the team.&#160 And rookies are once again having to earn the star on the side of the helmet.

There’s a new sheriff in town on defense: Coordinator Rob Ryan.&#160 (Yeah, son of that&#160 Ryan.)&#160 The Cowboys may get torched some weeks this year, but they will not&#160 be a soft-assed defense.

Garrett plans to be his own offensive coordinator (translation:&#160 Owner Jethro doesn’t have the $$$$ to pay another coordinator) – and if anyone can pull it off, he can.&#160 He’ll be trying to get the ‘Boys back to the old days of “you know what’s coming, try & stop it”.

Best of luck, Red.

Romo’s back, and has Miles Austin, Dez Bryant & Jason Witten as his targets once again.&#160 Barber, as has been previously noted, is gone, but Felix “Ouch” Jones and Tashard “I Can Haz Autograph, Mr. Vick?” Choice are – unfortunately – still here.&#160 Prediction:&#160 Third-round choice DeMarco Murray (late of OU) takes over after mid-season.

Problem with this team is, there are not enough youngsters, and too many old-and-obsoletes who never even came close to earning what Jethro’s paid them.&#160 Meanwhile, Phuckadelphia just made a free-agent haul, signing such names as Cullen Jenkins and Mnahmnah Mnahmnahmnahmnah (not the real name, but you get the idea) – and likely violating the salary cap in the process.

(Remember San Transexual during the ’90s?&#160 Same thing.&#160 Will the NFL do anything?&#160 Oh, hell no.&#160 (But that’s another post for, say…Thursday.))

8-8 will be a good season for these guys, and in a perfect world, would earn Jason Garrett a Coach of the Year award.&#160 Let’s see what happens.

—

There are two notable teams absent from the PFW this year:&#160 UWisconsin & UKansas.

Wisconsin won’t get major PFW coverage until/unless I hear something from the Humble DevilDog, who (at last report) was still out on the road somewhere.&#160 Don’t get me wrong – they’ll still get a mention, but it’ll be more like it was two years ago, at the end of the post.

As for Kansas…

The Jayhawks were 3-7 last year, and looked positively horrific in compiling that record.&#160 I don’t even think UBeefalo looked that bad in Turner Gill’s first year.

So, until they get that program somewhere near somewhat resembling stabilized, all they’ll get here in an every-once-in-a-while mention.&#160 If they play well.&#160 Maybe.

For now, the first live football is Thursday, so the PFW will open up then.&#160 Be here.

Continuing on…

College:&#160 The University of Oklahoma Sooners

Time for my annual explanation about how I’m following OU because: 1) I’ve come to like Bob Stoops a lot more since he came off his high horse some years back, 2) they’re the SpatulaGoddess’ favorite college team, and 3) I still have a major crush on the SpatulaGoddess.

MRS. VENOMOUS (with cast-iron skillet):&#160 WHAT…?!?!?!?!ONE?!?!?!ELEVENTEENTY?!!!!!

(Oh, did I say that out loud?&#160 &#160 )

MRS. VENOMOUS (still with cast-iron skillet):&#160 Why, you son-of-a…

VENOMOUS:&#160 Oh, bite me, woman.&#160 I married you, didn’t I?

MRS. VENOMOUS:&#160 Grrrrrr…

Anyway…

The polls have the Sooners rated as a pre-season #1.&#160 Now, the defense is, for the most part, a year older, led by senior end Frank Alexander and middle linebacker Tom Wort.&#160 And they appear to be a bit deeper at wideout, so teams won’t be able to double Ryan Broyles.&#160 And yeah, they won a BCS bowl last year.

Over UConn.&#160 (yawn)

But Landry Jones isn’t exactly what I’d call an all-world quarterback – in fact, I’m not sure he could beat out Pachall at TCU.&#160 And last year’s super-everything freshman, Roy Finch, isn’t on the two-deep chart, even though DeJuan Miller could probably fill in in a pinch.

Defense will have to carry this bunch if they’re to have a chance.

College:&#160 The University of Nebraska Cornhuskers

It’s put-up-or-shut-up time in Lincoln for Bo Pelini.

One would normally not expect such an ultimatum in only a coach’s third year – but after that pathetic bowl performance against UWashington and Widdle Jakie Locker, aka Ryan-Leaf-without-the-talent, plus his own less-than-stellar comportment as head coach, raises serious questions about Pelini’s fitness for the job.

There is a new conference – the Big Ten (with 12 teams), as opposed to the old Big XII (with 10 teams).&#160 There is a new offensive staff – possibly an admission that the old West Coast Offense knockoff didn’t quite work in the college game.

Taylor Martinez, Ben Cotton & Rex Burkhead are back for the offense. The Blackshirts are…well, the Blackshirts.&#160 They have to find a replacement for Alex Henery (no info on that at press time, unfortunately), but the kicking game should pose no problem.

The Huskers start the year ranked eleventh in the pre-season poll.&#160 It’ll be interesting to see if that ranking is deserved, or if the Pelini experiment turns out to be a colossal failure.

NEXT:&#160 Meet the new boss…same as the old boss…?

Denizens, remember when I said the other day…

Just a guess here, but anyone who thinks the Dow will gain Monday should come see me – I have this bridge I want to sell you.

It’s early, and this may or may not hold – the Dow on its best&#160 days is somewhat volatile – but as I write this, it’s fluctuating between 340 – 360 points of losses.

(UPDATE:&#160 Sure enough, the Dow started rallying right as I hit the “Publish” button – losses are now at 275 points & going up.)

WITY&#153???

Thanks, Imperial Socialist Congress&#153.&#160 Thanks, Al-Obambi.&#160 Thanks, fiddy-twoers.

You fucking bastards.

UPDATE the 2nd:&#160 634 points down at the closing bell.

Nice going, Bambi.

Denizens, today we’ll take a quick look at the teams I’m following this year in the Perfect Football Weekend&#153.

MERLIN:&#160 Quick?&#160 You?

KORRIOTH:&#160 When have you ever&#160 done anything “quick”?

VENOMOUS:&#160 How about that time I doubled your salary?

KORRIOTH:&#160 Twice nothing is still nothing.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Precisely what Cyrano Jones said.&#160 Now shaddup or I’ll throw you in a pool of tribbles.&#160 Head first.

KORRIOTH:&#160 (grunt)

Okay, let’s get on with it.

High school:&#160 The (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets

Ged Kates returns for his second year at the Jacket helm, and his job this year will be slightly tougher than it was last year.

Last year he inherited a full cupboard of talent from predecessor Steve Hale.&#160 This year, that cupboard may or may not be empty.

Going off last year’s roster, we see that Omar Valadez will be a senior, but he won’t have all-universe do-everything back Marquis Jackson to make plays for him this year.&#160 Looks like his best bets will be Jesse Lenz & Dennis Brooks, to assist a running game led by junior Adrian McKenzie.&#160 Nate Guidry, Hallante Edwards & Kameron Holmes look like they may be seniors that will help anchor the defense.&#160 Again, these are just guesses.

Besides, like I said last year, I never know from one season to the next whether Heights is going to be any good or not.&#160 Guess we’ll find out after “Week Zero’, won’t we?

College:&#160 The Texas Christian University Horned Frogs

With the exception of the national championship years, last season for the TCU Horned Frogs could arguably be considered the best ever.&#160 13-0, a Rose Bowl victory over a bigger & stronger Wisconsin opponent – how do you top that?

Gary Patterson, Dickie Bumpas and company will attempt to do just that this year.&#160 With a new quarterback (Casey Pachall) replacing Andy Dalton, and Phil Boyce, Antoine Hicks & Skye Dawson replacing Jeremy Kerley, Jimmy Young & Bart Johnson, an undefeated season appears unlikely.

But then, that’s what I said last year.

Ed Wesley & Matthew Tucker will continue to anchor a running game that wore down opposing defenses last year, though Pachall’s early inexperience will cause teams to load up the box & dare him to throw.&#160 Wesley’s healthy this year – and when healthy, he’s a bona-fide 1,000-yard back.&#160 They’ll run behind a line that, despite losing Ryan Cannon & Jake Kirkpatrick, is well stocked with game-tested talent.

The defense may need time to round into shape.&#160 The line is a bit thin in depth, but will start with a front four of Stansly Maponga, DJ Yendrey, Braylon Broughton & Jeremy Coleman.

Tank Carder & Tanner Brock will once again kick major ass at linebacker, and Greg McCoy leads a secondary that will have to grow up fast.

This will be TCU’s last go-round in the Mountain West Conference, and the MWC has repaid all TCU’s done for their newfound credibility by giving them a fuck-you schedule – all the tough games on the road, especially having to play on that POS Smurf Turf.

The Froggies will grow up pretty fast this season, I’d imagine.

NEXT:&#160 Of coaches & short leashes…

As you know by now, we lost 30 troops (over 20 of them Navy SEALS) yesterday in Afghanistan.&#160 The Realm&#153 mourns these heroic servicemen, and sends its condolences to their families.

Patterico is floating the idea that Vice Perpetrator BiteMe, not being able to keep his “big fucking” piehole shut about it, should somehow be held responsible.

Not that I’d necessarily mind seeing Captain Gaffetastic’s skanky blowhole (either of them) sewed shut with bamboo wire, but I tend to discount this theory, and here’s why:

If anyone in Al-Obambi were ever to have been conclusively tied to such an event as this…it would be over.&#160 And I mean.&#160 Fucking.&#160 Over.

You wouldn’t even have to wait for the gathering of the torches & pitchforks.&#160 The military would turn on them so fast it’d make your head spin.

Remember the Lame Plame Blame Game&#153?&#160 The outrage amongst Demoscum when analyst-nee-agent-wannabe Val Plame was supposedly “outed”?&#160 Multiply that by a factor of 100,000, and then add…well, draw your own conclusions there.

They’re stupid, yes – but they’re not that&#160 stupid.

Are they?

To say that I’ve been geeked for this moment since January 2, 2011, would be the Understatement Of The Year&#153.

Ask Mrs. Venomous, she’ll tell you.

MRS. VENOMOUS:&#160 Yes, dear.

It’s time, Denizens, to crank up our special little tradition here – one you’ll only find at the Realm&#153 – the series we all know & love as the Perfect Football Weekend&#153.

ALL:&#160 Yay.

Well, c’mon, let’s not all go ga-ga over it all at once.

MERLIN:&#160 Sorry, m’liege.&#160 It’s just so gawd-awful, freakin’ hot&#160 out.

VENOMOUS:&#160 You’re tellin’ me, Wizard?&#160 What’d I say about playing “catch ‘n release” on OwlBore?

MERLIN (hanging head in shame):&#160 Yes, sir, sorry, sir.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Try listening&#160 to me next time, m’kay?

Okay, where were we…?

Anyway, in the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, I attempt to chronicle the exploits of a number of football teams I follow, from “hah skrewl” (a little Rush lingo, there) all the way up through the pros.&#160 This year may be a tad more difficult than most, as I’m going to try to keep my eye on the performances of a number of individuals, in addition to teams.&#160 Those will be chronicled as time & space permit.

In the meantime, however (for those of you who are seeing this for the first time or are otherwise unfamiliar with this concept), here’s how we roll:

A Perfect Football Weekend&#153 (otherwise known as PFW) is one where all the teams that I follow win.&#160 (Otherwise, it can’t be perfect, can it?)&#160 I follow my&#160 teams – frankly, Scarlett, I couldn’t give a damn about yours.&#160 That’s what the comments section is for, right?

(Now, if you’d like to be a contributor&#160 to This Fine Blog&#153, and write your own&#160 posts…well, we can always talk about that.)

In some cases, where a team/program I follow is embarassingly weak (Kansas coach Turner Gill, call your office), I count moral victories, as well.&#160 We’ll get to that the first time I have to invoke a SpatulaLine&#153, which we’ll probably get to not too terribly long from now.

In any case, we’ll keep a running tally of how my teams are doing collectively – for documentation and so I can brag, but mostly so I can brag.&#160 (grin)

NEXT:&#160 On which teams does His Rudeness have his evil (MUAH-HAHAHA…!!!) eye…?