Posted by Darth Venomous @ 0:01
[SCENE: The Engineering section ot ISS Titanic. Bodies of Bynars & Jawas, along with an Andorian or two, plus a Tellarite here & there, are strewn across the deck.
In one corner, four Ferengi are doing their best to hide themselves & a group of Ewoks from what appears to be a hooded raging madman prowling the section, purple lightsaber in hand.
Engineer emeritus Merlin and current chief engineer Ozymandias McCool are lying motionless against one bulkhead. Captain Korrioth, having been knocked woozy by the angry hooded warrior, is now attempting to position himself between he with the lightsaber & the two objects of his extreme angst.
The lightsaber-wielding beast removes the hood, and we see (as expected) Lord Darth Venomous point his weapon at the captain.]
VENOMOUS: THEY HAVE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME, CAPTAIN!!! They told me they were ready to go! GIVE ME ONE REASON WHY THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR FUCKING HEADS!!!
[Captain Korrioth calmly pulls what appears to be an isolinear chip from his tunic, and holds it up before Lord Venomous.]
KORRIOTH: “Service Pack 1″.
[Venomous looks at it, a peculiar, puzzled expression on his face. He starts to say something, hesitates, then dons a twisted facial expression.]
VENOMOUS: Oh. Okay, then. Carry on, Captain.
[Venomous turns and calmly walks from the room. Korrioth breathes a sigh of relief, and goes to render assistance to his still-unconscious engineering staff.]
Looks like we’re good to go, guys. Will be testing stuff out over the next few days, as Version 3 was supposed to render some of my plugins inert. (Which is why I resisted upgrading for as long as I did.)
Keep your eyes peeled.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 17:16
[SCENE: On the bridge of ISS Titanic, currently in drydock and running on minimal power. An occasional indicator light flashes here & there and life support is just above minimum levels, but otherwise the place is dark.
The reverie is shattered by the appearance of a large, orange ball of light, which quickly coalesces into six figures – Lord Darth Venomous, his XO Korrioth, engineer emeritus Merlin and current chief engineer Ozy McCool, communicatinos wunderkind T-Bone McManx and tactical officer K’hadibak’h.]
VENOMOUS (apparently to no one in particular): Computer! Lights!
OZY MCCOOL: One second, Admiral. I believe we left the main computer in standby.
[McCool pulls out a tricorder-looking device and keys in a sequence. Immediately the lights come up & sounds fill the bridge as the control systems come back online.
McCool casts a glance at Venomous.]
VENOMOUS: Good work, Ozy. Thank you.
[McCool merely nods.]
VENOMOUS: You’re sure you & Merlin have things figured out this time?
MERLIN: Yes, Admiral. We’ll be ready to take Titanic out no later than four days from now.
MERLIN: I’ll hold you to that, Wizard. Grab whomever you need from spacedock and let’s get this beast flying. (to all) Repair stations, please.
Heads-up, Denizens. The long-awaited upgrade of the WordPress engine begins now. (Are you happy now, General? )
Y’all stay tuned.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:48
ITEM: The Wisconsin Legislature is about to pass a bill curtailing labor unions’ ability to collective-bargain for much beyond basic wages. It’s a move to try and save taxpayer money, and a damned good idea.
Naturally, the Professional Socialist Left is acting like bedwetting crybabies over it, including 1,100 teachers who called in “sick” and closed many Madison school districts in an illegal strike
Now, the GOP outnumber the Donktards in the Senate, 19-14. A quorum is 20 members.
ITEM: As eleven Texas cowards did eight years ago, Wisconsin House Demoscum fled the state, thus denying their constituents proper representation and bringing the people’s business to a halt.
“The plan is to try and slow this down because it’s an extreme piece of legislation that’s tearing this state apart,” Sen. Jon Erpenbach said in a telephone interview. He refused to say where he was.
Yeah. Just like a typical Demoscum cowardly pussy.
If/when they show their faggot asses back across the Wisconsin line, I’d suggest treating them like rabid dogs.
Posted by Supreme General Rayegun @ 16:41
Well, yup I am.
“All of you are white. Go to hell!”
Anyone want to guess who said that?
Okay, I”ll give you a hint. Dallas (TX) County Commissioner’s Court.
Give up? Well none other than Commissioner John Wiley Price did so. And not just once, but as you’ll see in the article he repeated the phrase four more times.
In case you missed it, or you chose not to click on the link, it’s a black man calling white audience members in attendance the phrase.
Gosh, JohnBoy…..them ther glasses you got on yer face help with that ther conclusion?
Oh, it gets even better. You gotta go to the link and read the written statement
Prince err Price sent in. It’s a classic.
Makes me wonder if he’s related in some way to Sheila Jack
assson Lee. Cause their IQ is about the same. Negative infinity.
Darth, not sure how you do it day after day without literally exploding in a total RCOB. I know I personally am keeping the various duct tape manufacturers in business, but with gems like this one all over the Metroplex even duct tape won’t help.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 14:06
Denizens, I give you the “He Didn’t Say That. Tell Me He Didn’t Just Say That” Moment Of The Year.
“I think the Muslim Brotherhood is not anything to be afraid of in the upcoming (Egyptian) political situation and the evolution I see as most likely,” Carter said. “They will be subsumed in the overwhelming demonstration of desire for freedom and true democracy.”
Oh. Emm. Effin’. Gee.
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:28
Denizens, your homework assignment is to go read this excellent treatise by Subotai Bahadur over at the Rott.
This one’s well worth your time & effort. Go. Shoo.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 14:00
Senile old Truther shithead Ronni Paula won the CPAC straw poll for the second year in a row.
This puts the CPAC straw poll on a par with two entities:
1. The Nobel Peace Prize
2. Bob Shrum
Make of that what you will.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 11:07
Well, Denizens, what damnfool notions are coming out of the mind of
Garry Trudeau Mr. Jane Pauley today?
Let’s have a look, shall we…?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:54
…and we can do so again.
Item: GoProud is a group of Republican heterophobes led by a little limp-wristed lickspittle name of Chris Barron. Barron is a typical militant heterophobe in that, if you disagree with him or his little half-assed, perverted organization, you are automatically a bigot.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:43
The latest episode of The Acorn Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree, Does It? begins with Widdle Randie Paula whining…for defense cuts.
Sen. Rand Paul, Kentucky Republican, called for cuts to the Department of Defense budget and entitlement reform in his Thursday afternoon speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).
“The president of the United States wants to sound now like he’s a conservative,” Paul said. “He says he wants to freeze spending. But, it’s going to be this much [a small amount] of the budget, with inflated levels of spending,”
So let’s see if I have this straight: We just had revolution in Egypt, which is likely gonna wind up in the hands of Muslim terrorists; Iran continues to work on possibly developing a nuclear bomb, as does North Korea – a country which recently displayed highly belligerent behavior towards its southern neighbor; China continues to menace Taiwan, and we continue to fight a war in Afghanistan.
And this dumbass wants to cut defense spending?
Like father, like son. Ron Paul’s a dumbass, and so’s his boy Randi.
Whet the Hell did the Tea Party ever see in this bozo? Or the state of Kentucky, for that matter?
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 23:59
Denizens, those of you who’ve not been living under rocks pretty much know about the goings-on in Egypt.
Hosni Mubarak, fully expected to have stepped down today by the throngs of protesters in Cairo…didn’t. He instead “delegated” his powers to newly-appointed Egyptian vice-president Omar Suleiman and stated his intention to remain as president until elections occur in September, at least.
This was met, as one might expect, with more outrage on the part of the Egyptian protestors. It could be about to get very violent in Egypt.
Al-Obambi is all over the map with regards to Egypt. Resign, don’t resign, do resign but not until September – he’s a dictator, he’s not a dictator, he tortures his people, no he doesn’t…it’s like nailing Jello© to the wall.
A Venomous administration, if you were to ask me what I’d do (and you didn’t, but humor me, mkay?)…would watch & wait, and not do anything until a government (of any type) emerged from this madness.
Look. They’re adults over there in Cairo. They might be dumb-asses, yeah – but they’re still capable, and deserving, of determining their own destiny, independent of this country and what it might want for that region. Nor are we the world’s playground monitor, standing there with arms folded, whistle in mouth, eyes narrowed, waiting for the first push or shove so that we can step in. (We do have a vested interest in what happens in the Middle East, given how much oil we import from there, but that’s it – then again, some may say that’s all of it.)
To employ a Nixonism, let me make one thing perfectly clear. The “Muslim Brotherhood” must not, under any circumstances whatsoever, obtain any power in Egypt. Period, end, stop. They must be prevented from ruling that country by any means necessary.
Look. The Muslim Brotherhood is the progenitor of Hamas, Islamic Jihad and Al-Qaida. Put them in charge over in Egypt, and it’s almost a certainty they’ll attack Israel – and God knows whom else.
The United States currently holds Israel in a voluntary check when it comes to using military force. (Has to be, otherwise why does Iran still have a nuclear program?). If the Muslim Brotherhood ascends to power over there, a Venomous administration would not only let Israel take Egypt to the woodshed militarily – it would go over there to help them.
Al-Obambi won’t do that. Then again, Al-Obambi is chock full of amateurs who, when they got that 3 a.m. phone call, knocked the phone off the nightstand and went back to sleep.
UPDATE: BREAKING – Okay, Mubarak has stepped down, according to Fox News.
Now things get interesting.
Limbaugh was talking yesterday about how it’s never the first revolution that sticks, but the second. And to demonstrate, he cited Germany (Kaiser Wilhelm to the Weimar Republic to the Nazis) and Russia (czars – Alexander Kerensky – Communist Party (side note: this was the first I’d ever heard of Kerensky)).
So keep a very close eye on what goes on now in Egypt.
Israel will be.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 22:24
While your obdt. svt. (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) was busy with “things I learned while looking up other things” (a little more Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) over the weekend, I came across this recap of Playboy’s entry in the Super Bowl’s Party Parade:
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 14:21
Not only no, not only hell, no – but !$(!%*!*$!&$*!((*!$&*!($!@)%)*!@&%(^% BLOODY FUCKING HELL, NO!!!!!
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 17:26
Did you hear the pop Dubya got while Lea Michele was singing America? And then the massive pop the troops got while Chrissy Aggie-Hocktuey sand the national anthem?
I’ll guaran-damn-tee you Bambi doesn’t get that if he’s there. (Aguilera might have, had she had a “wardrobe malfunction”.)
Good on ya, NFL fans.
Posted by Darth Venomous @ 14:08
In Super Bowl XIII, it was Fred Swearingen & a phantom pass interference call on Benny Barnes.
In Super Bowl XL, it was Bill Leavy’s crew and a phantom Ben Roethelisberger touchdown – one that the entire city of Seattle still maintains never happened.
In Super Bowl XLIII, it was Terry McAulay’s crew and a phantom Santonio Holmes touchdown catch to give his team a gift win over the Arizona Cardinals. You still can’t convince me that Holmes got both feet down.
Pathetic-burgh is just like the New England Pansies – they can’t win without officiating help.
Therefore, you can take it to the bank: If Lombardi’s trophy is handed to the Rooney family today, it’ll be because it was another 11-on-18 “Steal”er circle-jerk.
Because as tough as “Pits”-burgh thinks it is – the fact is that it can’t win without help.
Green Bay 31, Pittsburgh 14.
UPDATE: What did I fucking tell you? Shitsburgh holds on every damned play and it doesn’t get called, but a phantom facemask penalty on a Packer punt led to the “Steal”ers’ second TD. Swung the momentum 180 degrees.
Now GB’ll be lucky to hang on.
Update the 2nd: Shitsburgh misses a 52-yard field goal attempt. That’s the Shawn Suisham we all know & love!
Update the 3rd: And again Green Bay gets screwed by the officiating – and this time replay gave ‘em a reach-around, as well – on a reception/fumble/recovery that was ruled incomplete.
Now the penalties are coming fast & furious for GB. The NFL has already decided who they want to win.
Update the Finalth: GB held on and denied the NFL its prize.