Welcome to the Realm™ - Version 5.0...
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[SCENE:  The Engineering section ot ISS Titanic.  Bodies of Bynars & Jawas, along with an Andorian or two, plus a Tellarite here & there, are strewn across the deck.

In one corner, four Ferengi are doing their best to hide themselves & a group of Ewoks from what appears to be a hooded raging madman prowling the section, purple lightsaber in hand.

Engineer emeritus Merlin and current chief engineer Ozymandias McCool are lying motionless against one bulkhead.  Captain Korrioth, having been knocked woozy by the angry hooded warrior, is now attempting to position himself between he with the lightsaber & the two objects of his extreme angst.

The lightsaber-wielding beast removes the hood, and we see (as expected) Lord Darth Venomous point his weapon at the captain.]

VENOMOUS:  THEY HAVE FAILED ME FOR THE LAST TIME, CAPTAIN!!!  They told me they were ready to go!  GIVE ME ONE  REASON WHY THEY SHOULD KEEP THEIR FUCKING HEADS!!!

[Captain Korrioth calmly pulls what appears to be an isolinear chip from his tunic, and holds it up before Lord Venomous.]

KORRIOTH:  “Service Pack 1″.

[Venomous looks at it, a peculiar, puzzled expression on his face.  He starts to say something, hesitates, then dons a twisted facial expression.]

VENOMOUS:  Oh.  Okay, then.  Carry on, Captain.

[Venomous turns and calmly walks from the room.  Korrioth breathes a sigh of relief, and goes to render assistance to his still-unconscious engineering staff.]

Looks like we’re good to go, guys.  Will be testing stuff out over the next few days, as Version 3 was supposed to render some of my plugins inert.  (Which is why I resisted upgrading for as long as I did.)

Keep your eyes peeled.

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[SCENE:  On the bridge of ISS Titanic, currently in drydock and running on minimal power.  An occasional indicator light flashes here & there and life support is just above minimum levels, but otherwise the place is dark.

The reverie is shattered by the appearance of a large, orange ball of light, which quickly coalesces into six figures – Lord Darth Venomous, his XO Korrioth, engineer emeritus Merlin and current chief engineer Ozy McCool, communicatinos wunderkind  T-Bone McManx and tactical officer K’hadibak’h.]

VENOMOUS (apparently to no one in particular):  Computer!  Lights!

[No response.]

OZY MCCOOL:  One second, Admiral.  I believe we left the main computer in standby.

[McCool pulls out a tricorder-looking device and keys in a sequence.  Immediately the lights come up & sounds fill the bridge as the control systems come back online.

McCool casts a glance at Venomous.]

VENOMOUS:  Good work, Ozy.  Thank you.

[McCool merely nods.]

VENOMOUS:  You’re sure you & Merlin have things figured out this time?

MERLIN:  Yes, Admiral.  We’ll be ready to take Titanic  out no later than four days from now.

MERLIN:  I’ll hold you to that, Wizard.  Grab whomever you need from spacedock and let’s get this beast flying.  (to all) Repair stations, please.

Heads-up, Denizens.  The long-awaited upgrade of the WordPress engine begins now.  (Are you happy now, General?    )

Y’all stay tuned.

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ITEM:  The Wisconsin Legislature is about to pass a bill curtailing labor unions’ ability to collective-bargain for much beyond basic wages.  It’s a move to try and save taxpayer money, and a damned good idea.

Naturally, the Professional Socialist Left™ is acting like bedwetting crybabies over it, including 1,100 teachers who called in “sick” and closed many Madison school districts in an illegal strike

Now, the GOP outnumber the Donktards in the Senate, 19-14.  A quorum is 20 members.

Thus…

ITEM:  As eleven Texas cowards did eight years ago, Wisconsin House Demoscum fled the state, thus denying their constituents proper representation and bringing the people’s business to a halt.

“The plan is to try and slow this down because it’s an extreme piece of legislation that’s tearing this state apart,” Sen. Jon Erpenbach said in a telephone interview. He refused to say where he was.

Yeah.  Just like a typical Demoscum cowardly pussy.

If/when they show their faggot asses back across the Wisconsin line, I’d suggest treating them like rabid dogs.

Literally.

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Well, yup I am.

“All of you are white. Go to hell!”

Anyone want to guess who said that?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Anyone?

Okay, I”ll give you a hint. Dallas (TX) County Commissioner’s Court.

Give up? Well none other than Commissioner John Wiley Price did so. And not just once, but as you’ll see in the article he repeated the phrase four more times.

In case you missed it, or you chose not to click on the link, it’s a black man calling white audience members in attendance the phrase.

Gosh, JohnBoy…..them ther glasses you got on yer face help with that ther conclusion?

Oh, it gets even better. You gotta go to the link and read the written statement Prince err Price sent in. It’s a classic.

Makes me wonder if he’s related in some way to Sheila Jackassson Lee. Cause their IQ is about the same. Negative infinity.

Darth, not sure how you do it day after day without literally exploding in a total RCOB. I know I personally am keeping the various duct tape manufacturers in business, but with gems like this one all over the Metroplex even duct tape won’t help.

ThatIsAll™

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Denizens, I give you the “He Didn’t Say That.  Tell Me He Didn’t Just Say That” Moment Of The Year™.

“I think the Muslim Brotherhood is not anything to be afraid of in the upcoming (Egyptian) political situation and the evolution I see as most likely,” Carter said. “They will be subsumed in the overwhelming demonstration of desire for freedom and true democracy.”

Oh.  Emm.  Effin’.  Gee.

Be afraid.  Be very  afraid.

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Denizens, your homework assignment is to go read this excellent treatise by Subotai Bahadur over at the Rott.

This one’s well worth your time & effort.  Go.  Shoo.

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Senile old Truther shithead Ronni Paula won the CPAC straw poll for the second year in a row.

This puts the CPAC straw poll on a par with two entities:

1.  The Nobel Peace Prize
2.  Bob Shrum

Make of that what you will.

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Well, Denizens, what damnfool notions are coming out of the mind of Garry Trudeau Mr. Jane Pauley today?

Let’s have a look, shall we…?

Well, Garry-anne, there’s a slight difference between your ragheaded butt-buddies flying planes into the World Trade Center & the Pentagon, and 80 to 100 million Americans owning guns.

One was an act of war on this country.  An attempt to bring this country to its knees.  You know – your unstated objective for as long as you’ve been drawing that piss-poor “art” of yours?

The other is covered by the Supreme Law of the Land – the United States Constitution.

You know – that document with which you and your fellow libtard pussies like to wipe your asses?

So Mr. Jane Pauley believes in little green men from Cthulu-knows-where.

Which, for us, explains why he also swears by gun control.  Nice.

Dumbass.

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…and we can do so again.

Item:  GoProud is a group of Republican heterophobes led by a little limp-wristed lickspittle name of Chris Barron.  Barron is a typical militant heterophobe in that, if you disagree with him or his little half-assed, perverted organization, you are automatically a bigot.

“I think there’s a couple people in Heritage who, at the behest of Cleta Mitchell – who is just a nasty bigot … she got some of the people at Heritage early on fired up about this,” Barron says. “We tried very, very hard to smooth this over and to avoid any public fight with Heritage and then when Heritage came up with their excuse about how this wasn’t about GOProud – first of all, we knew it was, we knew it was six months ago – but we were willing to publicly let them.”

He puts on his “really, I’m a nice guy” face.

“Look, Heritage does a lot of good work, and I didn’t want – it looks terrible for them, and I didn’t want to have them humiliate themselves. But they’ve seemed hell-bent on it. Their story keeps changing and now we’re down to the truth, which is: It was about us. And they’ve lost donors. They’ve lost supporters.”

With a nod of agreement from LaSalvia, Barron concludes, “There’s a lot of people in the conservative movement who are looking very differently at the [Heritage Foundation].”

He’s singing the same tune when it comes to DeMint, who is joined by Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Ohio) in claiming GOProud as part of his reason for staying away from this weekend’s conference.

Of those calling for the boycott, Barron says, “They’re all excited that Jim DeMint is boycotting. And that’s fantastic. I’m glad that he’s willing to be on the Island of Political Misfit Toys with [World Net Daily's Joseph] Farah and the Concerned Women for America.”

LaSalvia eagerly notes, “Cleta Mitchell is his lawyer.”

Erick Erickson had something to say about that.

Cleta Mitchell is not just my friend and lawyer, she is one of the keystones of the conservative movement in Washington, D.C. When Sharron Angle’s campaign seemed off the rails right after the primary, it was Cleta who went in to help right the ship. It was Cleta Mitchell who stepped up to defend Christine O’Donnell when no one else would. It was Cleta Mitchell who exerted pressure on wavering conservatives to get on board Marco Rubio’s campaign. It was Cleta Mitchell who helped organize defense and offense for a host of conservative causes headed to court. It remains Cleta Mitchell who does not hesitate to give advice for new conservative organizations and pick up the phone to raise money for conservative causes and candidates.

In fact, let me now fully disabuse you of the notion that GOProud is a conservative organization.

While Cleta Mitchell was fighting for children, Chris Barron was signing up to work for the champions of child killing.

While Cleta Mitchell was fighting for people’s right to work, GOProud was aligning itself with the AFL-CIO and the SEIU.

While Cleta Mitchell was helping the Senate Conservatives Fund get people like Pat Toomey, Marco Rubio, Ron Johnson, Rand Paul, Mike Lee, and others elected, GOProud was attacking Jim DeMint.

While Cleta Mitchell was in super secret meetings of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy this week, GOProud was attacking Tim Pawlenty for daring to defend conservative positions on don’t ask-don’t tell.

Those groups and people who have sat out CPAC this year have done so not because they hate the gays, as Grover Norquist and GOProud would have you believe, but because GOProud is not a conservative organization and its agenda is not a conservative agenda.

For that, they are called losers and nasty bigots.

These losers and nasty bigots have done a lot more for the conservative movement than GOProud. And I am very happy to call them my friends.

Item:  It came out that “conservative” Andrew Breitbart – he of Big Government, Big Hollywood, Big-Whatever, etc, and the sponsor of the James O’Keefe ACORN  exposé, is on the board of GoProud:

Calling this “a maturing point for the conservative movement,” Breitbart minces no words: “If being conservative means rejecting gay conservatives because they are gay, then fine, I’m not a conservative.”

Fine, Breitbart.  You’re not a conservative.

Let’s get one thing straight, Randy Andi.  The Republican Party ain’t winning shit  without the social conservatives.  You may not get that far without the fiscal  conservatives either, true – but you’re sure as Hell not going anywhere without us.

And as far as I’m concerned, Andi, if you wanna be a heterophobic little pussy, go for it.  Fuck you and the horses that both you and GoProud rode in on.

And make sure you don those kneepads for Bambi in 2012.  You’re gonna need ‘em.

Probably enjoy it, too.

Asshat.

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The latest episode of The Acorn Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree, Does It?  begins with Widdle Randie Paula whining…for defense cuts.

Sen. Rand Paul, Kentucky Republican, called for cuts to the Department of Defense budget and entitlement reform in his Thursday afternoon speech at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC).

[...]

“The president of the United States wants to sound now like he’s a conservative,” Paul said. “He says he wants to freeze spending. But, it’s going to be this much [a small amount] of the budget, with inflated levels of spending,”

So let’s see if I have this straight:  We just had revolution in Egypt, which is likely gonna wind up in the hands of Muslim terrorists; Iran continues to work on possibly developing a nuclear bomb, as does North Korea – a country which recently displayed highly belligerent behavior towards its southern neighbor; China continues to menace Taiwan, and we continue to fight a war in Afghanistan.

And this dumbass wants to cut defense spending?

Like father, like son.  Ron Paul’s a dumbass, and so’s his boy Randi.

Whet the Hell™ did the Tea Party ever see in this bozo?  Or the state of Kentucky, for that matter?

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Denizens, those of you who’ve not been living under rocks pretty much know about the goings-on in Egypt.

Hosni Mubarak, fully expected to have stepped down today by the throngs of protesters in Cairo…didn’t.  He instead “delegated” his powers to newly-appointed Egyptian vice-president Omar Suleiman and stated his intention to remain as president until elections occur in September, at least.

This was met, as one might expect, with more outrage on the part of the Egyptian protestors.  It could be about to get very  violent in Egypt.

Al-Obambi is all over the map with regards to Egypt.  Resign, don’t resign, do resign but not until September – he’s a dictator, he’s not a dictator, he tortures his people, no he doesn’t…it’s like nailing Jello© to the wall.

A Venomous administration, if you were to ask me what I’d do (and you didn’t, but humor me, mkay?)…would watch & wait, and not do anything until a government (of any type) emerged from this madness.

Look.  They’re adults over there in Cairo.  They might be dumb-asses, yeah – but they’re still capable, and deserving, of determining their own destiny, independent of this country and what it might want for that region.  Nor are we the world’s playground monitor, standing there with arms folded, whistle in mouth, eyes narrowed, waiting for the first push or shove so that we can step in.  (We do  have a vested interest in what happens in the Middle East, given how much oil we import from there, but that’s it – then again, some may say that’s all  of it.)

Okay?  Okay.

HOWEVER…!

To employ a Nixonism, let me make one thing perfectly clear.  The “Muslim Brotherhood” must not, under any circumstances whatsoever, obtain any power in Egypt.  Period, end, stop.  They must be prevented from ruling that country by any means necessary.

Look.  The Muslim Brotherhood is the progenitor of Hamas, Islamic Jihad and Al-Qaida.  Put them in charge over in Egypt, and it’s almost a certainty they’ll attack Israel – and God knows whom else.

The United States currently holds Israel in a voluntary check when it comes to using military force.  (Has to be, otherwise why does Iran still have a nuclear program?).  If the Muslim Brotherhood ascends to power over there, a Venomous administration would not only let Israel take Egypt to the woodshed militarily – it would go over there to help them.

Al-Obambi won’t do that.  Then again, Al-Obambi is chock full of amateurs who, when they got that 3 a.m. phone call, knocked the phone off the nightstand and went back to sleep.

UPDATE:  BREAKING – Okay, Mubarak has stepped down, according to Fox News.

Now  things get interesting.

Limbaugh was talking yesterday about how it’s never the first  revolution that sticks, but the second.  And to demonstrate, he cited Germany (Kaiser Wilhelm to the Weimar Republic to the Nazis) and Russia (czars – Alexander Kerensky – Communist Party (side note:  this was the first I’d ever heard of Kerensky)).

So keep a very  close eye on what goes on now in Egypt.

Israel will be.

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While your obdt. svt. (a little Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) was busy with “things I learned while looking up other things” (a little more Blackie Sherrod lingo, there) over the weekend, I came across this recap of Playboy’s  entry in the Super Bowl’s Party Parade™:

Not coincidentally, an actual Playboy Club is open or will open soon in each of the cities. Last year was the 50th anniversary of the Playboy Club. At the lounges’ height of popularity there were more than 30 before they were shuttered in the 1980s.

But Playboy’s editorial director Jimmy Jellinek insisted the Super Bowl party isn’t all marketing hoopla. “That’s the Maxim party,” he said. “The world’s biggest sausage fest for beer-chugging dudes.” Maxim is having its big shindig Saturday in Fair Park.

The Playboy party is a flagship for the brand, he says by phone from the Admiral’s Club at Chicago’s O’Hare airport, en route to Dallas. “It’s the ultimate bacchanal,” said Jellinek, noting that “if you’re not at the party you’re a loser. The Playboy brand is about classiness and sexiness. This party is the equivalent of Truman Capote’s Black and White Ball.”

Ex-squeeze me?  Baking powder?  “if you’re not at the party you’re a loser”?!?!?!

And I scan down the page and this quote from Playmate Jamie Edmondson catches my eye:

Edmondson, Miss January 2010 and a resident in the official Bunny House across from the Playboy mansion, spun around, taking the scene of her first Super Bowl party. “Anything Playboy is a spectacle,” she said. “All of this reminds me of something at the mansion.”

Ah, yes.  The mansion.  The palatial residece of Playboy  founder Hugh “Hef” Hefner.  The be-all & end-all of all things Playboy.  The center  of the Playboy Universe.  Paradise.

And my mind is inexplicably  (*cough*) to this exposé about Hef’s little Garden of Eden

The portrait of Hefner painted by Izabella St James is deeply unappealing. A pretty blonde law graduate, she was 26 when she met him in a Hollywood nightclub in 2002. Soon, he invited her to move in with him and seven other official ‘girlfriends’.

For Izabella, the Playboy Mansion was far from the glamorous pleasure palace she had imagined. ‘Each ­bedroom had mismatched, random pieces of furniture,’ she recalls in her autobiography Bunny Tales. ‘It was as if someone had gone to a charity shop and bought the basics for each room.

‘Although we all did our best to decorate our rooms and make them homely, the mattresses on our beds were ­disgusting — old, worn and stained. The sheets were past their best, too.

Oh, but that’s not the best part, Denizens:

‘Eventually I persuaded Hef to pay for a new mattress and bed linen — but I had to turn in every single receipt before I was reimbursed.

‘Hef also eventually permitted us to have the rooms painted and recarpeted. But for some reason he insisted on creamy, white-coloured carpets. He liked the girlfriends’ rooms to look very girly, all white carpet and pink walls.

‘It looked great at first, but with two dogs (most of the girlfriends had pets that lived in their rooms — I had two pugs), butlers delivering food, dirty shoes and occasional spillages, the carpet was grey and stained in a matter of months.’

She adds: ‘But then Hef was used to dirty carpets. The one in his bedroom had not been changed for years, and things became significantly worse when Holly Madison moved into his room with him as Girlfriend No. 1 soon after I moved in, bringing her two dogs.

‘They weren’t house-trained and would just do their business on the bedroom carpet. Late at night, or in the early hours of the morning — if any of us visited Hef’s bedroom — we’d almost always end up standing in dog mess.

Actually – and I rather hate to admit this – Pup-Pup’s early life didn’t involve crate-training, so I know pretty much exactly  about all that.

Do  go read the rest of the exposé.  If you have the stomach for it, that is.

“Classiness”?  “Sexiness”?

Somehow I get the feeling that Playboy’s  Widdle Jimmy Jellyhead and Jamie Edmondson didn’t quiiiiiite  get around to reading the UK’s Daily Mail.  Y’think?

And I – and you, and you, and you ‘n you ‘n you – are all supposedly “losers” because we’re not – and don’t want to be – part of that.

Sounds like a badge of honor to me.

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Did you hear the pop Dubya got while Lea Michele was singing America?  And then the massive  pop the troops got while Chrissy Aggie-Hocktuey sand the national anthem?

I’ll guaran-damn-tee you Bambi doesn’t get that if he’s there.  (Aguilera might have, had she had a “wardrobe malfunction”.)

Good on ya, NFL fans.

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In Super Bowl XIII, it was Fred Swearingen & a phantom pass interference call on Benny Barnes.

In Super Bowl XL, it was Bill Leavy’s crew and a phantom Ben Roethelisberger touchdown – one that the entire city of Seattle still maintains never happened.

In Super Bowl XLIII, it was Terry McAulay’s crew and a phantom Santonio Holmes touchdown catch to give his team a gift win over the Arizona Cardinals.  You still can’t convince me that Holmes got both feet down.

The point?

Pathetic-burgh is just like the New England Pansies – they can’t win without officiating help.

Therefore, you can take it to the bank:  If Lombardi’s trophy is handed to the Rooney family today, it’ll be because it was another 11-on-18 “Steal”er circle-jerk.

Because as tough as “Pits”-burgh thinks it is – the fact is that it can’t win without help.

Green Bay 31, Pittsburgh 14.

UPDATE:  What did I fucking tell you?  Shitsburgh holds on every damned play and it doesn’t get called, but a phantom facemask penalty on a Packer punt led to the “Steal”ers’ second TD.  Swung the momentum 180 degrees.

Now GB’ll be lucky to hang on.

Update the 2nd:  Shitsburgh misses a 52-yard field goal attempt.  That’s  the Shawn Suisham we all know & love! 

Update the 3rd:  And again  Green Bay gets screwed by the officiating – and this time replay gave ‘em a reach-around, as well – on a reception/fumble/recovery that was ruled incomplete.

Now the penalties are coming fast & furious for GB.  The NFL has already decided who they want to win.

Update the Finalth:  GB held on and denied the NFL its prize.

31-28 25.

Phew.

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