Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:05
If you’ve spent your fair share of time in the Blogosphere – or Usenet, for that matter – you’re familiar with a phenomonon known as “Godwin’s Law”, which states, in part,
once such a comparison [to Nazis] is made, the thread is over, and whoever mentioned the Nazis has automatically lost whatever argument was in progress.
Apparently, Big Dickhead Durbin, the cowardly little fuckweasel Islamofascist ass-kisser from Ill-noise, didn’t receive that particular memo. There his skanky ass was on the Senate floor yesterday, comparing our troops to Nazis.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 13:04
Jim at Smoke On The Water has absolutely friggin’ nailed it.
Go. Read. That is an order.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 8:17
Let’s start out your Thursday with a little military humor, courtesy of Lady Heather of the Jeep Wrangler (honored Denizen and soon-to-be regular contributor to this blog – watch this space for details):
A crusty old marine corps colonel found himself at a gala event downtown, hosted by a local liberal arts college.
There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the colonel for conversation. She said, “Excuse me, sir, but you seem to be a very serious man. Are you this way all the time, or is something bothering you?”
“No,” the colonel said, “just serious by nature.”
The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”
The colonel’s short reply was, “Yes, a lot of action.”
The young lady, tiring of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little – relax and enjoy yourself.”
The colonel just stared at her in his serious manner.
Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you had sex?”
The colonel looked at her and replied, “1955.”
She said, “Well there you go; you really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously – I mean, no sex since 1955, isn’t that a little extreme?”
The colonel, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, “Oh, I don’t know. It’s only 2130 now!”
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:40
You couldn’t have been surprised by this, could you? You had to figure, once it was ruled that Bob & Mary Schindler couldn’t have an independent, third-party forensics-type person there, that the fix was in – right?
Well, Denizens, here’s another WITY for you.
You’ll recall I mentioned something about Terri’s autopsy being performed in Pinellas County???
Surprise, surprise. We have ourselves a whitewash. Tom Sawyer himself couldn’t have done it this well.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 22:24
Between work and blogging and all, it escaped this scribe’s notice that Michelle Malkin’s blog turned one year old the other day.
And she’s already running rings around me several times over in number of hits. Hmf. (grin)
Happy Blogerversary, O Gorgeous One.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:34
In all seriousness – this is really the kind of thing I’d expect from Kaiser Wilhelm von Slickmeister, not from a man who vowed during the 2000 campaign to restore honor, dignity and integrity to the office of the President – “so help me God”.
Shrubya, you’ve already alienated a good portion of your base by your failure to act to save Terri Schiavo from being murdered by that bastard swine excuse-for-a-husband of hers. Now is not the time to alienate the rest of them.
As gorgeous as she is, I’d still disinvite her if I were you.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 16:45
Okay, so the Cereal Jury (nuts, fruits & flakes) has found the One-Gloved Wacky Wonder, Chief Flake himself, not guilty on all counts.
Hope you Moonwalkers are happy now. Perhaps you can shut up long enough to allow the rest of us Right-Thinkers to go back to sleep…?
For my part, I’ve just one thing to say: Your Doublewideness, don’t ever let me hear of my son getting within five fucking feet of this maniacal, chimpanzee loving, no-nosed hee-heeing freak. Parental rights or no, if I find out he has… (glares out towards Sulphur Springs)
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 9:05
As you know, Denizens, one of the things which raises my hackles severely is a moron who caves in and apologizes after having said something that happens to…(gasp, arrrrgh!!!)…offend someone. I like folks to say what they mean, mean what they say and stand up for it when bitched at.
But there is a caveat thereto: Generally, you have to be right about what you’re saying – which almost always means that Demoscum can’t qualify.
And I can think of fewer instances where that’s more the case than with the head Jackass himself, Dr. YEAARRRRRGH!!!. Seems he doesn’t feel like apologizing for the BS he’s spewed forth these last couple of weeks.
Howard Dean said Saturday that positive responses from key supporters
That is to say, George Soreloser, MoveOnDon’tLookTooCloselyAtHowWeRaiseMoney.org, the heterophobic sodomites, NAMBLA, the baby-butchering crowd, the artsy-fartsy, Howard Stern and the rest of the maggot-infested FM-types…Boy, don’tcha just yearn for the support of those losers…?
have reinforced his determination to keep talking tough. Some congressional Democrats have suggested that the party chairman should tone down his rhetoric.
“People want us to fight,” Dean told the national party’s executive committee. “We are here to fight.”
No, Chief Screaming Flea, you’re there to piss & moan, whine & bitch, and just generally show the rest of the world your ugly ass.
Now, if you want to fight…you and the rest of the Cowardcrats just let us know…heh…heh…heh… (smacks fist into palm)
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 23:20
Denizens, I’m sure most of you remember about a year ago this time when I lost one of my best and dearest friends, Jeff Duke (his funeral was a year ago yesterday, if memory serves). As you’ll recall, his death hit me pretty hard – to the point where I forsook a couple of very valuable days spent at the Lady’s side in Miami just to come back here for the funeral.
This hits me just about as hard. Robert Plett was one of the charter members of that little band of Fidonet brothers known as the Lensnetters (LENS = Limbaugh Echo Nuke’m Squad) which continued as a loose-knit cadre of emailers to this day. He also, up until recently, was a regular commenter to this blog; in fact, I’d been beginning to wonder why I’d not seen him in a while.
I guess now I know, don’t I?
Denizens, you’ll pardon me if this is the only post you see this weekend. I’m gonna take some time to mourn – and I encourage those of you who knew him to do a little mourning yourselves. The planet just lost a helluva good human being.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 14:21
(Hat tip Supreme General Rayegun.)
Denizens, those of you who know me know that I have plenty of reason to hate Philadelphia, the City of Brotherly Shove. In addition to Donna McNabb, the Greatest Quarterback Ever In The History Of Ever, Ever and
her his little buddy Terri Owens, there’s also the Gangsta Rap Thug of the NBA, Allen “The Answer” Iverson (must have been a really stupid question) – and the recent sweep of the baseball locals by the Phillies and that ugly green furball they embarrassingly call a “mascot” has set my teeth on edge, as well.
City high school students will be required to take a class in African and African American history to graduate, a move that education experts believe is unique in the nation.
It’s unique in that it’s the most insanely fuckwitted idea a school board has ever spewed out its collective piehole, that’s what’s unique about it.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 18:45
Denizens, a heads-up to you guys:
The spammers, who heretofore had pretty much left me alone, have apparently discovered my presence on the Web.
(Side note: If I ever – ever – get within five feet of the fucktard responsible for alerting them to my presence…there aren’t enough cops on Planet Earth to keep me from what will happen next. Just sayin’, is all.)
At any rate, I may be forced to do what Misha has had to do, and employ TypeKey as a comment verification service. For those of you who aren’t familiar with it, you register with them, and then you have sort of like a “season pass” to comment on all the blogs who similarly employ it.
Just an FYI in case the spamtards don’t let up anytime soon. Thatisall.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 7:38
And in yet another why-should-this-surprise-anyone moment out of Flori-duhhhhhh, a tin-plated jackoff dictator-in-a-robe has once again his
complete lack of morals on a community that doesn’t necessarily want those lack of morals imposed on them.
An excuse-for-a-federal-judge in Jacksonville has decreed that the city of St. Augustine, FL must fly nearly 50 fag flags…
…yeah, I said “fag flags”. What’s the heterophobic sodomite community think they’re going to fucking do about it, hm? Picket me in their fucking pink taffeta?
…on the city’s Bridge of Lions.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:15
The more Dr. YEEARRRRRRGH!!!!! opens his piehole and spews his verbal flatulence, the more I am convinced beyond the shadow of any doubt: Howard Dean is the best thing to ever happen…to the Republican Party. (snicker)
His latest potshot is a racist, religiophobe diatribe against…you guessed it…the white Christians of the Republican Party.
Democratic Party Chairman Howard Dean on Wednesday defended his recent harsh criticism of Republicans, including his observation that they are “pretty much a white, Christian party.”
Gee, the conservative atheists, Buddhists, Shintoists, etc, will be awfully damned surprised to hear that. So, I imagine, will the folks of color and all the hyphenated-Americans there, too.
In fact, I’m rather surprised that this blithering idiot didn’t go whole hog and call us a “white, Christian male party”, y’know?
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 20:38
And the winner is…UltraEdit.
Found a registered copy in a location which shall remain unnamed (*coughworkcough*). And, as a techie, by definition my job requires me to…uh…evaluate the software my customers might utilize.
Yeah, that’s it. That’s the ticket.
S’long, Semware. $99 is a weeeeeeeee bit too much to pay for a glorified DOS text editor.
Posted by Lord Spatula I, King & Tyrant @ 17:43
For the last five years or so, all we’ve heard from the Demoscum is about how President Bush is supposedly a moron. And all last year, all we heard about John-boy F’n Qetchup-ass was how intelligent he was, didn’t we?
So just imagine the chagrin of the Jackasses when this report was made public:
Newly released Navy records of Sen. John Kerry show the 2004 Democratic presidential candidate, who was portrayed as the intellectual superior of President Bush, actually received a lower academic average than his rival while studying at Yale, including five Ds.
The transcript of grades, which Kerry has always declined to release, was part of a set of Naval records requested and finally received by the Boston Globe. Last month, Kerry gave the Navy permission to release the records to the paper, something he refused to do during last fall’s campaign.
And now we know why, don’t we? Imagine what that Navy report’s gonna look like. (snicker)
Bush received a cumulative score of 77 for his first three years at Yale and a roughly similar average under a non-numerical rating system during his senior year. Kerry, who graduated two years before Bush, received a cumulative score of 76 for his four years. Those grades include four Ds in his freshman year and one in his sophomore year.
Bush received one D in his four years at Yale, scoring a 69 in astronomy. The president has described himself as a C student in college.
Well, Botox Boy, there’s one area in which you beat W. (cackle)
According to the Globe, the military and medical records released appear identical to what Kerry has already released, but this marks the first time Kerry’s grades have been publicly reported.
The transcript shows that Kerry’s freshman-year average was 71, or a low C. He scored a 61 in geology, a 63 and 68 in two history classes, and a 69 in political science. His top score was a 79, in another political science course. Another of his strongest efforts, a 77, came in French class. His highest single grade was an 89, for a political science class in his senior year.
Under Yale’s grading system in effect at the time, grades between 90 and 100 equaled an A, 80-89 a B, 70-79 a C, 60 to 69 a D, and anything below that was a failing grade.
A 63 and a 68 in history??? This is the same guy who deigned to tell us back in the seventies how US troops acted in a way “reminiscent of Jenjis Khan (a little Qerry phoneticism, there)??? Does anyone wonder now how it was he mispronounced Genghis??? He couldn’t even pronounce it right – how could the bozo know what Khan did, much less been able to compare it to what our troops supposedly did?