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I keep thinking I’m going to wake up, and the nightmare will be over.

I keep thinking that the only bitching I have to do about the Cowgirls during Perfect Football Weekends&#153 next year is how Drew “The Human Statue” Bledsoe has to be replaced, yesterday,&#160 by Tony Romo.

But the nightmare is real, and so is the pain.&#160 Little Terri Owens, He Who Can’t Be Touched Without The NFL Making A Rule Against It&#153, is now a Dallas Cowboy.

From a purely football standpoint, the move makes sense offensively.&#160 With two quality receivers now on each side, teams will no longer be able to stack eight in the box against the run, thus giving Julius Jones & Marion Barber III more room to run.&#160 Nor will teams be able to run double coverage on Glenn, as they did when he lined up opposite Keyshawn Johnson.&#160 Patrick Crayton & James Witten will also benefit from what will almost certainly be looser coverage.

The only question will be whether the Cowboys can protect Bledsoe any better than they did last year.&#160 When they did, the Cowboys were very, very good.

When they didn’t

The other&#160 question surrounding Widdle Terri Owens is how many temper tantrums he throws before Opening Day.&#160 The child (and I do&#160 mean “child”) is, quite frankly, a clubhouse cancer.&#160 He’s split two locker rooms already, and there’s not reason one to suspect he won’t do the exact same thing here.

We can be reasonably certain that Terri will behave himself in 2006.&#160 Whether he does that in ’07 or beyond is anyone’s guess – and the smart money will forever say “no” on that issue.

As for me and how this figures into Perfect Football Weekends&#153 – I haven’t decided.&#160 Do I retain the ‘Boys as one of my PFW teams?&#160 Or do I join the Anti-Cowboy Faction and pull for whomever plays them this year?

I suppose I have time to think it over, but it’s not a decision I relish making.&#160 I’ve lived & died with this franchise for over 30 years now, ever since I noticed that they were there and were worth paying attention to, and it’ll be tough to tell them what they can do with themselves.&#160 (For me, anyway – I fully realize that Owner Jethro (thanks, Gil LeBreton) couldn’t give two shits about what this scribe thinks.)

Tune in come August.&#160 For now – I’ll put the over/under on Owens tantrums at…four.

Let the sport…commence!


The Department of “Well, duhhhhh!!!” chimes in this week with Fox News’ Chris Wallace trying to nail Jello&#169 to the wall – and not getting a whole lot in the way of results…

Repeatedly pressed by “Fox News Sunday” host Chris Wallace to reveal his party’s Iraq war plan, Sen. Dick Durbin’s answer was that Democrats want to bring the troops home as soon as possible.

As Wallace points out (as you will soon see), fuckin’ everybody and their dogs&#160 wanna see the troops come home, Dickhead Turban – so tell me something new, why don’t you?

Admitting, for example, that the right-thinkers in this country want to see our men & women come home after they’ve finished kicking Islamoturd ass up the Arab street and right back down it again – whereas you and your fellow Donktards Murthafucker, al-Qerry, Senator (hic!), Dingy Harry and San Fran Tran Nan just want to cut & run – well, that’d be a good start.

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