You really didn’t think we were going to have an entire year of Perfect Football Weekends™ without talking about Widdle Terri Owens, did you?
He takes part in the first football game of the new season Sunday night against Our Heroes™, aka the Dallas C’boys – and…well…when talking to him, one can expect to wind up talking about  him, as this wire report did:
The 36-year-old also thinks he got a bum rap in his previous stints, which included the Cowboys.
When asked by bengals.com about the biggest myth about him, Owens said: “I’m a cancer in the locker room. That I’m a distraction. How am I distraction that if over the years you take an incident and someone blows it out of proportion and it’s not nearly as bad as it’s supposed to be? Then of course I’m going to look bad. Over the years there have been some small incidents that have been blown straight out of proportion.
Oh, so that little dust-up with Donovan McNabb was “blown out of proportion”, was it?  You’re saying the fact that Philly suspended your ass was a molehill turned into a mountain?
And the fact that “your quarterback”, Tony Romo, was suddenly playing favorites with Jason Witten, according to you, the very next year?  So that was blown “out of proportion”, as well?
And do I even need  to go into your stay in San Transexual?
No, Widdle Terri.  You’re a fucking locker room cancer, and while it was only marginally tolerable when passes weren’t  clanking off your hands here, your tired act soon fell into the “real old, real fast” category.  It’s no coincidence that Dallas’ production – not to mention its win total – went up again once you were gone.
Something Buffalo found out last year, and that Cincinnati will painfully discover this year.  You’re just not good enough to justify drawing an NFL paycheck any longer.
On to the PFW.  One game this weekend – the aforementioned Hall of Fame Game tomorrow evening between the aforementioned C’boys and the aforementioned Cincy Bengals, featuring the aforementioned Widdle Terri Owens.
It’s Game One on a loooooong NFL schedule, meaning starters will play a handful of plays, then mostly sit while subs compete for spots on rosters.
Would be called a yawnfest most of the time – but it’s live football, dammit, and it’s been too long in coming, so I’m gonna enjoy it.
We’re back Monday for something resembling a recap.  Exhibition games don’t count in over PFW results, as usual, but it’ll be fun to be talking about football again, so what the hell.