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For this episode of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, Denizens, I’m going to take the expected potshot at the fans of the Texas University Shortdicks Longhorns Shortdicks.

Hey, T-sips!&#160 Yeah, you pinky-extended-from-the-teacup, limp-wristed, needle-dicked, give-us-back-our-one-second-on-the-clock douchebags!

Remember, Colt McCoy?&#160 Yeah, that overhyped, overrated, under-talented third-round draft choice&#160 that you faggots were absolutely certain&#160 could have beaten Alabama’s top-ranked defense if only&#160 he hadn’t gotten tapped on the shoulder and pinchy-ed hisself a nerve!

Yeah, that&#160 one.

Turns out that Bwad’s Widdle Boy&#153…is probably not even going to be good enough to crack the Cleveland Browns’ roster.

McCoy was taken in the 3rd round of last April’s NFL Draft, but according to quotes from Browns coach Eric Mangini, his spot is far from guaranteed on the Browns’ active roster this fall.

“I’ve kept four as a head coach and have been on teams that have kept four as an assistant coach. I have also been on [teams that only kept] two,” Mangini said, according to ProFootballTalk.com.

Earlier this week, the Cleveland Plain Dealer’s Tony Grossi listed McCoy among the members of the Browns who “need good showings in the last two games to make the roster.”.

The Browns’ top two spots seem cemented, with newly acquired Jake Delhomme pencilled in as the starter and Seneca Wallace a clear choice for the No. 2 QB.

Y’hear that, T-sips?&#160 That’d be Seneca Wallace…of freakin’ Iowa State.

Iowa.

State.

Perennial Big XII One Less Than Eleven&#153 doormat.

Your football ghod&#160 can’t even beat out Seneca freakin’ Wallace&#160 for the number two spot.

Meanwhile, remember Sam Bradford?&#160 Former OU quarterback and number-one draft pick of the St. Louis Rams?&#160 The guy you swore up & down couldn’t carry Colt’s!!!!!&#160 fuckin’ jock?

Tore up the Patriots the other day.

QB Sam Bradford didn’t look like a rookie. In fact, you couldn’t tell that he wasn’t a veteran by the way he played — a complete departure from his first two outings. He played with tremendous poise and threw with outstanding accuracy.

While his offensive line deserves a lot of credit, Bradford did a great job of throwing with timing and anticipation, two traits that even the best quarterbacks don’t display.

You never want to read too much into any preseason game, but Bradford was simply terrific. You can see clearly why they drafted him. He has a great feel for the passing game. He basically defeated New England’s pass rush by getting the ball out of his hands quickly.

Eh, what say you, T-sips?

(crickets)

Yeah, that’s what I thought.

Oh, and one other thing:&#160 Not quite as easy&#160 for ol’ Colt when he doesn’t have seventh-year pro&#160 Jordan Shitty Shipley bailing out his ass, is it now?

Let’s go to the PFW.&#160 It’s Cowboys-Pewstun Saturday night for something called the Governor’s Cup, which I think is a moldy old clay pot somewhere in Lwaxanna Troi’s closet.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Uh, that would be the Sacred Chalice of Riix&#153, m’lord.

Whatever.&#160 Anyway, it’s the so-called “dress rehersal” game, and it happens to involve two of the three major hubs of the Realm, namely us and the Southern Command.&#160 Supreme General Rayegun, would you care to make anything resembling a wager on the outcome? Perhaps wings or somethin’?

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 As has usually been the case this preseason, if there are any other games I happen to catch more than a glimpse of, I’ll chronicle ’em here.

In the meantime, the floor is open for all trash talk.