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Just so you know:&#160 I was never that big a fan of Sesame Street.&#160 By the time I became the age of their target demographic, I was already past letters & numbers and was into reading sentences.

Not bad for a two-and-a-half-year old, eh? (grin)

Anyway, I was more into Electric Company&#160 at that tender young age.&#160 However, that’s not to say I didn’t watch SS at all&#160 – in fact, I had a couple of favorite characters.&#160 One of them was Maria – you remember, Luis’ then-girlfriend (now wife, if memory serves)?&#160 Quite the hottie, she.

The other one was the subject of my rant today, that being the googly-eyed blue shag carpet known as the Cookie Monster.&#160 Ate everything in sight – edible or not. (grin)&#160 Known & loved for his trademark signature phrase – “Cooooooooooo-kieeeeeeeeeee”

Well, that bastion of We Know Better What’s Best For Your Child Than You Do&#153, the asshatted liberals at the Corporation for Pubic Public Broadcasting who write Sesame Street,&#160 have unilaterally decided to take our beloved Cookie Monster away and replace him with a lookalike that purports to tell your kids how they should eat – IOW, a further attempt to take your job of parenting your rugrat away from you.&#160 Chelsea Carter of AP reports:

Something must be wrong in the land of Muppets.

Something has been wrong with Public Television&#153 for a while now, Chel.&#160 You mean you’re just now noticiing?

First PBS announced that Sesame Street would kick off its 35th season this week with a multiyear story arc about healthy habits.

Oh, yeah.&#160 A three-year-old is going to listen intently to a message telling him he oughta start eating GrapeNuts&#169.&#160 YeahRight&#153.

No problem there; childhood obesity rates are soaring.

Pray tell, Chel – why&#160 would childhood obesity rates be a problem for you, eh?&#160 Are they all your&#160 crumb-crunchers, hmmmmmmmmmm?

Then I learned of changes that turned my Sesame Street world upside-down.

My beloved blue, furry monster – who sang “C is for cookie, that’s good enough for me” – is now advocating eating healthy. There’s even a new song – “A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food,” where Cookie Monster learns there are “anytime” foods and “sometimes” foods.

“Sacrilege!” I cried. “That’s akin to Oscar the Grouch being nice and clean.” (Co-workers gave me strange looks. But I didn’t care.)

Great Honkin’ Cthulu&#153, I thought the exchange system&#160 diet was bad…

People, we’re talking about a Muppet here.&#160 Muppets don’t go on diets.&#160 They entertain little children (and, on occasion, politically incorrect adults who don’t have their knickers twisted).&#160 Making sure the kiddos eat right is the job of the parents.

Sheesh.

Being a journalist, I did the only thing I knew how to do. I investigated why Sesame Street gave Cookie Monster a health makeover.

The answer would lead me into a world where television producers worked with health experts and politicians

Translated, a place where micromanaging busybody dumbasses are convinced that they Do Not Have Enough To Do&#153.&#160 The most dangerous place for these snotwits to possibly be.

Feel free to go read the rest of the article.&#160 Just make sure you haven’t eaten anything beforehand, lest you…(pun intended)…toss your cookies.

Since I knoweth not whether I’ll be able to rant & rave like I want to today, we’ll start out with something from the all-but-forgotten Grab Bag&#153.

This is courtesy of my sibling unit, who got it from a friend, who got it from a friend, who… (grin)

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can get going without pep pills,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment

If you can ignore a friend’s limited education and never correct him,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

…Then You Are Probably The Family Dog!

Mhehhehheh…

Sorry, guys – yesterday was a beast as far as workload went.

Today doesn’t look all that much better, either. (sigh)

And on top of it all – Comcast threw up again&#160 last night, leaving me with bupkis in the way of a connection.&#160 I’m really starting to develop an unhealthy dislike for those people… (grrrrr)