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Well, Denizens, since the Texass stRangerS are getting their heads handed them once again&#160 by the worst team in the American League (the annual July swoon is coming a little later than expected this year), and the C’boys are firmly ensonced in training camp…the re-launch of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 couldn’t come at a better time.&#160

For those of you who are new to this blog, here’s the deal:&#160 During the football season, I follow the adventures – or misadventures, in some cases – of six football teams which I like, and chronicle their exploits here.&#160 I then invite you to do likewise in the comment section of each PFW post.

This year’s PFW teams are as follows:

High school – (Fort Worth) Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets:&#160 The Yellow Jackets will once again be led by coach Duke Christian – which is a puzzle in itself as to why he’s still there.&#160 Oh, well, as long as he keeps taking the Gold & Blue to the playoffs, I guess it doesn’t matter that they get their asses handed to them in the first round every year.

Don’t know any names of players yet, so I’m not sure if last year’s pseudo-phenom, Donnell Dickerson, is still even there (he might have graduated, not sure).&#160 Hope to have more before their first game.

College: – Texas Christian University Horned Frogs:&#160 Gary Patterson marks yet another year as the Tadpoles’ head coach, and brings back eight starters on offense and six on defense.

TCU’s fortunes this year will all depend on the cannon arm of sophomore quarterback Andy Dalton.&#160 They’re gonna have to score a lot to win, I fear – the defense is once again undersized, but unlike last year, it’s also now inexperienced.&#160 Let’s hope Dalton’s freshman-baptism-by-fire has tempered his abilities to a fine edge this year – he’s gonna need it.

College – University of Oklahoma Sooners – I’ve come to respect (and even admire) the will to win that is embodied in Bob Stoops.&#160 Plus, he’s matured some over the years, and is a little more humble nowadays, which is good.

Stoops will bring back Sam Bradford, Jermaine Gresham and a cast of thou…well, dozens (grin)…as they try yet again for a national championship.&#160 Or at least to not be embarrassed in their bowl game.&#160

College – University of Nebraska Cornhuskers – SCBBS welcomes home the Huskers after a five-year absence.&#160 Having deep-sixed Failed Bit&#153 Bill Callahan, Big Red made the hire it should’ve made five years ago and brought former LSU defensive guru Bo Pelini back as head coach.&#160 As the defensive coordinator for the Huskers, Pelini got his players to run through brick walls for him, and doubtless he’ll bring that same intensity & passion to the offensive side, as well.

College – University of Buffalo (NY) Bulls – Turner Gill, former Arlington Heights & Nebraska quarterback, coached this motley crew last year to a 5-7 record (5-3 confernce, 4-2 division and a share of the division title) and a Mid-American Conference Coach-Of-The-Year award.&#160 The Bulls are picked to finish third in the MAC East this year, and even received three first-place votes.&#160 Not bad for a third-year coach.

As usual, we will give Turner the benefit of the doubt in his games, allowing them a little extra slack when it comes to the Vegas line.&#160 This year, as long as the Bulls (when they’re the underdog) can hold the opposition to within 10 points of the line, that will count as a victory in the PFW.&#160 (May do something similar with Arlington Heights, too – still thinking about that one.)

Pro – Dallas Cowboys – Wade Phillips led the C’boys to a 13-3 record and what should&#160 have been a playoff win against the NY Football Douchebags and their pussified quarterback, E-why Manning.

This year, with a re-tooled secondary, the addition of Zach Thomas at linebacker and an even stronger DeMarcus Ware & Anthony Spencer, the ‘Boys should be favored to play in Tampa for Super Bowl XLIII.

Tony Romo returns at quarterback with the same offensive cast of characters – Terrell Owens, James Witten and Marion “The Barbarian” Barber, protected by a massive offensive line.

Once Adam Jones is reinstated to football, he will make a strong secondary even stronger.&#160 (And when was the last time you could say “strong secondary” and “Cowboys” in the same sentence, hm?

Now, the rules for the PFW are simple:&#160 All my teams which are playing on a given weekend have to win (or in Buffalo’s case, cover) for a Perfect Football Weekend&#153 to be declared.&#160 As usual, I just care about my teams – I don’t give a flying fuck about your teams; that’s what the comments are for.&#160 And participation in PFW threads are most welcome.

We’ll crank up things tomorrow for the Hall of Fame Game on Sunday.&#160 (There may be more games on the toob; I just don’t know about ’em yet.)&#160 See you then.

Okay, so the Shorts-In-A-Wad wing of the Evangelical Right&#153 is all up in arms over a Pete Sessions fund-raiser.

A political party hosted by Rep. Pete Sessions at a Las Vegas adult club has jaws dropping.
 
The event, in March 2007 at a club called Forty Deuce, raised money for the Dallas Republican’s political action committee, People for Enterprise Trade and Economic Growth.
 
Aides to Mr. Sessions, a self-described conservative, and others said the act was a mild burlesque show, but some conservative activists were aghast that the event was held at an adult club.
 
“What’s the difference?” asked Cathie Adams, president of the Texas Eagle Forum. “I don’t think that it’s representative of the constituents of the district. I’m in shock.”

(Gasp, ARRRRRRRGH~!!!!!!1!!!ONE1!)

Oh.&#160 Puh.&#160 Leeeeeeeeeeze.

Okay, all you in the Holier-Than-Thou Club&#153, front & center.

Listen up.&#160 There are some things you need to take into consideration here:

Now< I will readily grant you that Our Man Pete&#153 probably&#160 could have picked a better place to hold a fund-raiser.&#160 Probably.&#160 Having said that…

1) The thing was damned near 18 effin’ months ago, for fuck’s sake!&#160 The damned thing has been freakin’ public knowledge&#160 for about that long.&#160 Meaning that the Lame Stream Mediots&#153 and the Demoscum (but we repeat ourselves) have had access to that information for that long.&#160 (And I think you can safely trust me on this:&#160 Pete Sessions can’t take a dump without the Donktards knowing about it.&#160 No Republican can – just ask Larry Craig.)

Has it not occurred to you that if there was political hay to be made about this, it woulda been made a helluva lot sooner?!?!?!

2) Take a look at this blurb:

The Forty Deuce is a popular Mandalay Bay spot that features a burlesque show. Such routines are considered classier than pole dancing and generally attract just as many women as men. They feature elaborate costumes, but dancers do eventually strip to near nudity.

And later:

A review on the club’s Web site states: “Jaws drop and drinks are ignored as the tempo picks up and the dancer steps up, shedding boa, gown and gloves towards the electrifying finale. After the show, our celebrity DJ drops in a dance groove and it’s dancing ’til dawn!

Okay, define for me “near nudity”.&#160 Verily, verily I say unto you, I’m willing to wager that there’s more skin shown at a TCU football home game.

And speaking of showing skin…

3) Get a load of this load from a local Demoscum Cupid Stunt&#153:

Democrats were happy to pile on the congressman.

“He’s such a boring guy that a little pizzazz may help him,” said Darlene Ewing, chairwoman of the Dallas County Democratic Party. “I thought they were the party of family values, but they are having fundraisers at burlesque shows.”

Oh, really?&#160 Someone wanna tell me where these Demoscum were when See-BS was getting off scot-fucking-free over Janet Jackson’s little “wardrobe malfunction”?&#160 Anyone?&#160 Bueller?

I’ll tell you where they likely were:&#160 Boozing it up in fucking celebration&#160 that the FCC got its ass handed to it, that’s where.&#160 The whole effin’ world got to see Miss Nasty’s tit and they were creaming their panties over it, but they’ll throw Pete Sessions under the bus for a show where there were more naughty bits covered up!

Fucking hypocrites, the whole lot of them.

Which leads me to point 4) If the average person thinking with their head, rather than their ass – when the hell did anyone start believing the LSM or&#160 the Demoscum (but we repeat outselves) on anything?????

I’ll repeat again, for those of you who haven’t been paying attantion:&#160 If the LSM tells me the sky is blue, I’m going out and double-checking.&#160 I don’t take the LSM’s word about anything.

Ever.

So, Cathie Adams and the rest of the evangelicals – let’s try to remember the good that Pete Sessions is doing for the state of Texas and the nation, and remember the source of this attempt to throw him under the bus, and just take it fucking easy, okay???

Geeze.