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Never let it be said that I’m not a benevolent King & Tyrant&#153.&#160 (Besides, I’m a lot more beneficent when it helps me out, too. (grin))

The login link, formerly buried near the bottom of the main page, has been moved to a more accessible location, per popular request.

Y’all er welcome-like.&#160

For those of you who have been keeping up on the medal counts, maybe you should change what you’re keeping track of. Like the number of LIES and FALLACIES that the Chinese are pulling right in front of the TV cameras.

For starters, the opening ceremony had loads of fakes. From the fake fireworks to a lip-syncing singer. It’s bloody hilarious when govermental coverup is so blatantly obvious on such a large scale.

But wait, it’s gets better. Much better!!!!

If you were one of the dozens or so people that DVR’d the opening ceremony, check out this story, then check it out for yourself. If you didn’t DVR the ceremony, then you gotta read that story! Here’s a snippit:

Well, this is just perfect. At the exact moment Li Ning was rounding the lip of the Bird’s Nest during the amazing torch-lighting climax, someone snapped this photo of our good friend the BSOD nestled among the Nest’s steel twigs.

What’s more is….retired Microsoft big man himself, Billy-Boy Gates was in attendance there at the ceremony. No word on any comment from Gates-y boy that I’ve found so far. But as you’ll remember, Billy-boy has some history with that particular “malfunction“.

Here’s the video if’n you want to reminisce:

And now the latest fake appears to be with the Chinese “women’s” gymnastic team. Or should we say “little girl’s” and not women’s. Seems that the Chinese, given their supposed mastery of things like simple math, don’t know the difference between 16 and 13. Even worse, it looks like the IOC is gonna give a pass on this atrocity…..much like the lame-swine media has passed on digging up the dirt on Breck Boy.

Anyone wanna guess what’s gonna get faked next by the Chinese?

This week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend begins with this blurb about former Ar-kansas Piglet and current Jacksonville Jaguar Matt Jones having been busted and arraigned on a cocaine charge.

The curiosity is that this wasn’t more widely disseminated & trumpeted throughout the news-o-sphere.

Oh, sure – google “Matt Jones” and “news” and you get all sorts of hits – but something like this usually makes a bigger splash in the broadcast media than this.&#160 As it was, the SpatulaGoddess (long may she exude ginormous quantities of hawtness (grin)) was the one to alert me to this, and then only by accident – she was, at the time, pointing me to a sports-oriented blog across which she’d stumbled.

Now, I’ll be the first to admit I don’t know how it’s playing either in Jacksonville or Little Roach – neither burgh has ever been a fixture on my world-traveler (*cough*) itinerary.&#160 I simply find it curious that I’d not heard about the story at all until this week.

MERLIN:&#160 Don’t suppose it’s due to the color of his skin, do you?

LSIK&T:&#160 Honestly, Wizard, I don’t know.&#160 This whole thing was kept quiet, compared to what Michael Irvin, Erik Williams, et. al, received – but then again, C’boys are, as a rule, of a higher profile than Jacksonville Jaguars.

MERLIN:&#160 Point.

Okay, on to the PFW.&#160 We’re still in preseason, so tonight’s matchups are thus:&#160 Steel & Bill (read:&#160 the Steelers & the Bills) will demonstrate superior football to the ‘Norks in Toronto (look for a Pitt victory here) and Philthy will host the Carolina Panthas (a little Mike Rhyner (KTCK 1310/The Ticket) lingo, there).&#160 The Beagles should win at home.

Friday evening, the whole nation (minus, perhaps, HDD (grin)) will be tuned to Fox to watch Da Raiiiiduhs&#160 (a little Chris Berman lingo, there) visit the Tennessee Titans.&#160 Has anyone seen JaMarcus Russell recently?

Saturday’s games include the Deadskins traveling to Hoffa’s Mausoleum, aka the Meadowlands, to take on Favre Almighty and the NY J-E-T-S-JetsJetsJets!!!&#160 If that O-line can’t do any better than it did last week, Favre may re-retire after the game.

In addition, we also have Colts-Falcons, ViQueens-Baltimore Thugs (as long as unconvicted criminal Ray Lewis is still there), Fins-Jags, Tex-annes – Aint’s, Bolts-Rams, Cards-Chiefs, Bears-Seahawks, Packers-FairyWhiners…and my game, the C’boys at Denver to take on the Broncos.

Last year, the Broncs were a mite peeved that Dallas actually came to play.&#160 It’ll be interesting to see if they remember that.

Romo & company will likely play a little more than last week – that is to say, two series instead of one.&#160 Yawn.

Sunday we have Lions-Bengals (oh, my!), and the Pansies will migrate south to take on the Bucs in Tampa.&#160 Monday has the Browns at the NY Football Douchebags.

We’re back Tuesday for a limited recap.&#160 In the meantime – anyone seen Mr. Wardle?&#160

Hannity claimed to have a B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Osama Obama-based Lord’s Prayer parody on his site – but like the weasel he is, didn’t put it anywhere where the average Joe could find it.

So I went to look for it (or something like it), and found this by Aaron Martin.

Good work, sir.

The Obama’s Prayer

 
Our Obama, who art in office,
hallowed be they reign.
Thy socialism come,
from now on, in America as it is in Sweden.

Give us this day, our daily handout
and tax us not, but tax the rich as we burden them disproportionately.
And lead us not to personal responsibility,
but deliver us from whitey.
For thine is the change, the hope, and the rhetoric, for ever and ever. Amen.

Yes, that’s right – I’m testing something.

Yeah, that’s pretty much all I got for now.

UPDATE:&#160 General, check in, if you please.&#160 I haven’t figured out how to add this to the editor yet, so it’ll have to be executed manually for now, and you’ll want to know the code.

The Department of Ew, Just Ew&#153 brings us this story, which – if you think about it, in a bizarre, macabre sort of way – redefines the time-honored clich&#233 “the shit’s gonna hit the fan”.

“Complex Shit”, a sculpture by the American artist Paul McCarthy, cast loose its moorings and was lifted by a sudden gust of wind from the Paul Klee centre in Berne and carried 200 yards to eventually make landfall in the grounds of a children’s home.

Museum authorities said the work had an automatic safety device that was supposed to make it deflate in the event of a storm – but it failed to operate.

The museum’s director Juri Steiner said Mr McCarthy had not yet been informed of the fate of his artwork, and that he had not yet decided whether to reinstall it in the centre’s garden.

That depends, I’d think.&#160 Does the garden need that much fertilizer?&#160

I’m not quite sure what my feelings are concerning this.

Oh, sure, I’m supposed to wring my hands and say all the right things – “oh, how terrible” – “…such a tragedy…” – “…can’t we all get along?” and other angst-ridden bullshit.

But the fact of the matter is that we simply don’t know enough about what happened up there.

Yeah, we know a bit about the Dem chairman who got killed.&#160 What I wanna know is, what were the political leanings of the gunman?

See, it’s too damned easy to blame this on the Right.&#160 And it’d be too damned easy for me to be snarky and say something like “yeah, just a dress rehearsal for 2009-10”.&#160 What if something else is at play here?

The point:&#160 The murdered was a declared delegate for the Duchess Hilarious.&#160 Suppose the gunman was a supporter of B. HUSSEIN!!! Obama???

Puts a little different spin on it, doesn’t it?

So I think I’ll wait for the details to come rolling in before I say anything else about this.

For now, anyway.

Memo to those of you who know how I live & die with the C’boys and were expecting an explosion:&#160 Yes, it’s really me.&#160

New Orleans 24, Arizona 10

Seattle 34, Minnesota 17

NY Jets 24, Cleveland 20

Pittsburgh 16, Philthydelphia 10

Dallas 17, San Diego 31

Tyler Palko (who’s Tyler Palko?) came off the bench to throw for 144 yards as the Saints beat the Cards in Phoenix.

UPDATE:&#160 Oh.&#160 The former Pitt quaterback.&#160 That&#160 Tyler Palko.&#160 Good on ya, son!

…

Jeff Reed kicked two fourth-quarter field goals to send the Steelers past the Beagles.

Watch out for rookie Dennis Dixon from Oregon.&#160 Passer, receiver – the Black & Gold may have found the next Kordell “Slash” Stewart.

…

Seattle dominated the Vikes in the second half, thanks to Minne-haha’s inability to hang on to the ball.

Two of the three second-half turnovers were fumbles caused by Seattle rookie linebacker David Hawthorne.

That would be…uh…rookie David Hawthorne from Texas Christian.&#160 RIFF RAM BAH ZOO!!!!!&#160

…

A quarterback named Brett threw for 252 yards in leading the Jets past the Browns.&#160 But the name of the jersey was “Ratliff” – Brett Ratliff, who’s pushing for the #3 QB position.

HDD wasn’t kidding about that O-line.&#160 First quarter, Jets 4th & 1 at the Brown 37, Kellen Clemens tries a QB sneak – and gets stoned.

And Favre’s depending on this&#160 line to protect him?

…

Dallas’ starters didn’t just outplay the Chargers’ starters – they manhandled&#160 them.

Second-and-7, Phillip Rivers back to pass…and NT Tank Johnson obliterates the center and slams Rivers to the turf for a six-yard loss.&#160 Next play, a screen pass to rookie Jacob Hester loses another yard.

After the Chargers punt, the C’boys go on a methodical eight-play, 54-yard touchdown drive that chewed up the SD defense.&#160 ‘Twas a thing of beauty.

The backups played like shit, but that was almost to be expected.&#160

Two who were here last year need to go away this year:&#160 Bobby Carpenter & Brad Johnson.&#160 Carpenter keeps getting pushed around, and was directly blocked & tied up by what should be an easily defeatable fullback on one SD touchdown.&#160 His practices, supposedly so good, are not translating into games.&#160 At this point, he can only be considered a draft bust.

Johnson played like he didn’t have a clue what was going on out there, and threw an ugly pick (might not have been his fault, but at this point I don’t care) that led to another SD touchdown.

The special teams once again reek, allowing three sizable punt returns.&#160 Why is Bruce Read still here?

And Danny Amendola – or as I like to call him, Amy Dannydola – didn’t help his own cause last night, fumbling a punt that led to SD’s first touchdown and changed the momentum of the game.&#160 If he’s to stay here, I expect a great deal of improvement in Game 2.

But while the overall result was a little discouraging, it’s only a preseason game.&#160 Nothing was at stake, except possibly roster spots.&#160 The ‘Boys will be fine.

The PFW returns Thursday for preseason week 2.

Okay, so we have this gene-pool-contaminating son-of-a-crack-whore-bitch pussy set to be executed tonight in Huntsville:

Leon David Dorsey IV, once known on the street as “Pistol Pete,” does not plan to die quietly.

[…]

“He’s not being brought out of his cell unless necessary,” Michelle Lyons, spokeswoman for the Texas Department of Criminal Justice, said. “He’s vowed that he’s going to assault staff prior to his execution.”

Fine with me.&#160 Shoot the bastard in his cell.&#160 Better yet, have the families of his victims pull the trigger on the motherfucker.

Either way, the sooner he stops wasting our oxygen, the better.

UPDATE:&#160 The jackass is now at room temperature.&#160 It’s not specifically mentioned, but it doesn’t look like he put up the fight he was promising us.

Pity.

One of these days, I’m gonna learn to go with my gut and not question first instincts.

As you’ll recall, I said this:

I’m not sure if Russia is Gog or Magog, but I don’t think Russia, as currently constructed, is up to the task of an attempted Israeli invasion, which many – myself included – believe must occur prior to the rapture of Christ’s church. They’re going to have to become more powerful, and I believe this is the first step in that direction.

I then backed off when Misha came up with more information to which I wasn’t at the time privy.

Well, now it looks as if I backed off too soon:

The Georgian National Security Council Secretary Alexander Lomaia just finished briefing the international media at 1800 Eastern Time / 0200 Tbilisi Time.

He stated that currently, approximately half of Georgia is under Russian control, and the country was basically cut in half. They currently believe that there are 12,000 Russian Troops in Georgia and 700 Tanks and Armored Personnel Carriers. In addition he stated they believe there are 9 Russian Naval Vessels off the coast of Georgia attempting to conduct a Naval Blockade of their seaports on the Black Sea.

In addition he stated Russian Troops had entered and taken the city of Gori and the Port of Poti

All that was preceded by this:

President Bush just finished speaking about the Georgian / Russian Conflict. The President stated that for all appearances the intention of the Russian Government is to depose the legitimate Government of Georgia and their actions in this escalation have been of a brutal nature.

By contrast, I refer you back to Desert Storm.&#160 After the Alliance had thrown Saddam Hussein’s Iraqi forces out of Kuwait, the opportunity was there to proceed on towards Baghdad.&#160 Bush 41 steadfastly refused, saying at the time that the objective of the whole military operation was to liberate Kuwait and that was it.&#160 Even though he could have – and, it later turned out, should have – GHWB went only so far and stopped.

This is now looking like a full-scale takeover of Georgia by Russia.&#160 I now can’t help but think that Vlad Putin has it in mind to rebuild the old Soviet Union – the next step in those End Times&#153 I mentioned to you.

Keep your eyes peeled, Denizens.&#160 This is gonna get uglier & uglier.

[Scene:&#160 aboard Pegasus.&#160 Now only a couple dozen light-years from the homeworld of the Shelliak Corporate, four Shelliak warships face off against our intrepid heroes.

The bridge turbolift doors slide apart, and out walks a hooded figure that one can only presume is His Rudeness&#153, since the cloak is the same one that was worn during the first encounter.&#160 Underneath the hood, the eyes are once again glowing purple.

[Gee, I wonder if I could get him to teach me&#160 that trick.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 No.&#160 It’s unnerving enough when he&#160 does it.

[Damn.&#160 I never get to have any fun.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 What do you do with that outrageous salary he pays you?

[Salary?&#160 Please to explain this concept.]

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Conscript, Captain.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Oh.

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 Ssssh!&#160 (to Korrioth) Report, Captain.

[The voice is once again a foreboding baritone.&#160 Korrioth resists the urge to jump…but it’s close.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 Four Shelliak warships blocking our path, sir.&#160 They have powered up their batteries and achieved weapons lock.&#160 I have raised our sheilds and ordered them reinfor—

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 Incoming!!!

[On the screen, disruptor fire lashes out and hits Pegasus.&#160 The ship bucks; bodies go flying.&#160 But not the hooded figure – with one hand on the deck railing, he may as well have been a statue.&#160 He walks over to offer Korrioth a hand.]

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 You’re bleeding, Captain.

KORRIOTH:&#160 I…(shakes head, as if to clear cobwebs)…will be alright, sir.&#160 (to K’hadibak’h) Report!

K’HADIBAK’H (climbing back into seat):&#160 Sheilds down three percent, Captain.&#160 No appreciable damage to the ship…but I don’t recommend sitting here and taking much more of that.

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 Agreed, Lieutenant.

[The cloaked figure raises one outstreched hand.&#160 Korrioth grabs the arm.]

K’HADIBAK’H:&#160 M’liege, taking one of those ships out nearly killed you.&#160 You don’t have the strength for four so soon…!

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 That’s not what I had in mind, Captain.&#160 Watch and learn.

[The hooded figure again stretches out his hand as if searching.&#160 After a few seconds, he moves his hand over slightly and repeats the procedure – then again, and again.

The Shelliak contingent breaks formation and moves to surround Pegasus, though not quite directly in line with her anymore.]

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 Report, tactical.

K’HADIBAK’H (gaping at his readouts):&#160 They’ve…they’ve dissolved their target lock, sir!&#160 This is impossible…they…they seem to be targeting each other!!!

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 Z minus 5,000 meters until we’re clear of them, Lieutenant, then ahead on our original course to the Shelliak homeworld.&#160 Keep the Shelliak vessels on screen throughout.

[K’hadibak’h is quick to comply, moving Pegasus&#160 down and around the Shelliak.&#160 As Pegasus&#160 clears, the Shelliak vessels begin firing on each other.&#160 One is immediately vaporized; the remaining three batter each other mercilessly.

All except the hooded figure gape with widened eyes at the screen.&#160 Korrioth is first to find his voice.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 My lord…how…?

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 It’s nothing you couldn’t have done yourself, Captain, although you would need more Vulcan blood in you to affect all four minds simultaneously.

[The figure’s voice no longer resonates as it did.&#160 Korrioth merely stares at the figure in wonder.&#160 He notices the eyes no longer glow purple.]

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 I merely planted the idea in all four ship commanders’ minds to forget about us and shoot at other targets.

[A look of understanding crosses Korrioth’s face.&#160 The hooded one goes and eases himself into the command chair.]

HOODED FIGURE:&#160 It requires a lot less power than, say, overloading an entire ship’s operational systems.&#160 (to K’hadibak’h) Standard orbit above the planet, K’hadibak’h.&#160 Locate the planetary government headquarters and lock quantum torpedoes thereupon.&#160 Mr. McManx, raise the High Command of the Shelliak Corporate.

K’HADIBAK’H, MCMANX:&#160 Yes, m’lord.

(To be continued…)

And so it begins.

Back in 1991 or so when the Soviet Union breathed its last, I warned the forum on which I participated at the time (StarText) that the USSR wasn’t dead, but merely dormant.&#160 Sleeping, as it were.&#160 I cautioned that the forces behind the Evil Empire&#153 could reincorporate at will, and would if we weren’t careful.

I’m pretty sure few people are looking at what’s going on in Georgia the way I am.&#160 No matter.&#160 I’m of the opinion that this is the first step in the reassembly of the Union of Soviet Socialist Republics.

And it’s one more reminder that the End Times&#153 are getting closer.&#160 I’m not sure if Russia is Gog or Magog, but I don’t think Russia, as currently constructed, is up to the task of an attempted Israeli invasion, which many – myself included – believe must occur prior to the rapture of Christ’s church.&#160 They’re going to have to become more powerful, and I believe this is the first step in that direction.

Now, I could be wrong about this.&#160 I hope to God I am.&#160 But I don’t have a good feeling about what’s going on over there RightAboutNow&#153 – and neither should you.

UPDATE:&#160 Based on what Misha had to say about the whole affair, I was a little bit…well, not misinformed, but rather insufficiently informed.&#160 It would appear Russia didn’t start this one, after all:

A bit of history here, and please correct us if we’ve gotten it all wrong: South Ossetia is a province of Georgia that didn’t want to be part of Georgia anymore, so they held a referendum in ‘92 to secede. The results weren’t recognized, so they did it again in 2006, this time with observers from all over the world. 95% turned out to vote and 99% voted in favor of seceding. Now, we may be a simple Emperor, but those numbers seem to be somewhat indicative of the locals being quite determined to break ties with the old guard and set up shop on their own.

But the Georgian government didn’t see it that way, and fighting and conflict has gone on ever since, more or less under the radar until yesterday, when Georgian President Saakashvili decided to use the opening of the Olympics to retake South Ossetia while nobody was looking. Unfortunately for him, his invasion managed to kill a number of Russian peacekeepers, and Russia doesn’t take too kindly to her nationals being killed while abroad. Big mistake. So Russia responded by shelling the everloving shit out of the Georgians and now Saakashvili is all of a sudden very interested in peace and quiet.

I stand corrected on this point.&#160 On the other hand, it’s still very disquieting to see the words “Russia”, “military” and “invasion” in the same sentence.&#160 Whatever the cause, I’m not too keen on the notion of Russia getting the idea “hey, this invasion stuff was fun, let’s do some more”.

Even if, as Misha states, we don’t have a dog in this fight…well, I’d just as soon it stay that way.&#160 We have enough problems as it is.

(Idle thought:&#160 Whaddya wanna bet this doesn’t get 10% of the coverage Larry Craig got?)

Item:&#160 John-boy “Silky Pony” Edwards was honored as “Father Of The Year” in 2007 from some goofy outfit called the “Father’s Day/Mother’s Day Council”.

Item:&#160 Today, our 2007 “Father Of The Year” admitted to an extramarital affair.

It is inadequate to say to the people who believed in me that I am sorry, as it is inadequate to say to the people who love me that I am sorry.

Why not just admit that you’re fucking inadequate as a man and be done with it?

In the course of several campaigns, I started to believe that I was special and became increasingly egocentric and narcissistic.

That is to say, more spay-shul, more egocentric and more narcissistic than you already were, right?

If you want to beat me up – feel free. You cannot beat me up more than I have already beaten up myself.

Oh, ho ho ho hooooo, you wanna bet?&#160 Do you honestly wanna put some money on that, Smedley?&#160 Is that a challenge&#160 I hear in your Silky Pony voice?&#160

I have been stripped bare and will now work with everything I have to help my family and others who need my help.

You can start by putting your clothes back on, John-boy.

Particularly yer pants.&#160

Texas gave a second IV’s worth of justice to another murderous, scum-sucking illegal-alien pussbag this evening:

An illegal immigrant from Honduras who claimed his treaty rights were violated when he was arrested for a robbery-murder in Arlington was executed Thursday evening.

“God forgive them, receive my spirit,” Heliberto Chi said in English. In Spanish, he told a friend watching through a window that he loved him and appreciated his hard work. He appeared to be whispering a prayer in Spanish with a tear at the corner of his right eye as the lethal drugs began to take effect.

One of Chi’s cousins, who was among the witnesses, sobbed uncontrollably.

Oh, boo-hoo-effin’-hoo.&#160 Let’s see here…
More »

This week’s episode of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153 begins with news of the trade of the Lord Brett Favre Almighty&#153…

MERLIN:&#160 Isn’t that a little over-the-top, even for you?

LSIK&T:&#160 Fine.&#160 You&#160 go check out the NFL Network’s coverage of His Gloriousness’ press conference.&#160 Not to mention the treatment he’s getting from their Web site.

MERLIN:&#160 Whatever.

…from the Green Bay Packers to the New York J-E-T-S-JetsJetsJets!!!.

The move ends a remarkably ugly split between Green Bay and one of its most beloved players, allows the Packers to move forward with new starting quarterback Aaron Rodgers and gives Favre a fresh start — although not exactly the one he wanted, as Favre’s first choice was widely believed to be the Minnesota Vikings.

It also raises the collective IQ of both teams.

On to the PFW.&#160 Favre’s J-E-T-S-JetsJetsJets!!! will be in Cleveland tonight to take on the Browns, while the NY Football Douchebags are at Detroit, Baltimore takes on the New England Pansies, KC’s in Chicago to play the Bears and Arizona will host New Orleans in a game on ESPN.&#160 (I’m hoping to watch at least one of those games, but I have company coming tonight, so we’ll see.)

Friday, it’ll be Beagles-Steelers, Seahags-ViQueens and the battle of the gay bay as San Transexual visits Oakland.&#160 (Does anyone know if & when JaMarcus Russell’s gonna play?&#160 Al Davis – why the Hell&#153 did you draft him if all he’s gonna do is collect splinters in his ass?)

Saturday we have Bills-Deadskins (c’mon, LC John Wardle – this is two slams at your beloved Skins and barely a peep from you?&#160 You okay, my friend?), Bucs-Tuna Dolphins from Miami (gratuitous Parcells reference there), Falcons-Jags, Colts-Panthers, Broncos – Tex-annes (here’s where Houston realizes what a mistake it made signing Jacques “Toast” Reeves), Rams-Titans in a sorta-kinda rematch of SB XXXIV…and my game of choice, the C’boys at the SanDiego (uh) SuperChaaaargers (a little Chris Berman lingo, there).&#160 Romo & company will get their feet wet, then Brad Johnson will spend the rest of the game trying not to pull a hammy.

Monday the Aaron Rodgers Era&#153 begins for real in Green Bay as the Bengals come to visit.&#160 That deafening silence you hear is Green Bay, Wisconsin holding its collective breath.

We’re back Tuesday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, HDD will tell us all about how Bucky’s gonna go undefeated this year.&#160 Won’t you, HDD?&#160