Local time where you're at. ("Where you're at"?)

If I can get over the absolute rage I’m feeling right now towards John Cor-whore, Kay Bitchy Slutchinson and the rest of the motherfucking bastards in the House & Senate who voted for Crap Sandwich 2.0&#153, I’ll have something to say about it tomorrow.

For now…I’m willing to bet B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi doesn’t want you to see this&#160 video, either:

Memo to those who will hear:&#160 Start stockpiling it, as much as you can, as quickly as you can.

[Scene:&#160 the bridge of Pegasus.&#160 All our players are at their normal posts, save for the science station.&#160 Darth Venomous is in his command chair, reading the Nossican response to the Realm&#153 purchase proposal.

Suddenly, the bridge doors whoosh&#160 open and Captain Korrioth rages in, eyes wide & teeth bared (think Gowron again) and ready to do someone a very nasty turn indeed.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 The @*%)!)%*@!!!! p’tahk!!!&#160 I will rip his throat out with my bare hands!!!!

[Most of the bridge crew dives for cover.&#160 His Rudeness&#153 simply leans back and arches an eyebrow.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Peace, Captain.&#160 What’s the problem?

KORRIOTH (eyes still wide & teeth still bared):&#160 THIS!!!!!

What was up with Joe Biden’s frozen forehead?

It’s his smile lines, too.

Ewww.

The HD broadcast of the debate made it all the more glaring. (And let me note that left-wing blogs have had plenty to say about HD highlighting John McCain’s appearance.) Go ahead and Google “Biden and Botox” in the blog search engine and you’ll see lots of other observations about it, too.

Commenter ddhinnyc: “As a frequent Botox addict, I can confirm this: Biden has not had his eyes done, but he has had his forehead botoxed, and he has had bad hair plugs.”

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yeah, actually, this is pretty funny.&#160 So what’s the…

KORRIOTH:&#160 LIMBAUGH CALLED HIM A KLINGON!!!!!

[The rest of the bridge crew try to hide even harder.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ah.&#160 I see your point.&#160 But he’s one of us, and we need him, so let’s let it pass, hm?

KORRIOTH:&#160 How dare&#160 Limbaugh compare that honorless targ-shit to our people?!?!?!&#160 AND THEN HE PUTS HIM NEXT TO MY FATHER!!!!!

VENOMOUS:&#160 I know, I know.&#160 Here, lemme make it up to you.

[Venomous extends his hands, and purple Force-lightning envelops Korrioth.&#160 The Klingon-Vulcan hybrid howls in pain – or something else, perhaps?

The lightning continues for 30 more seconds, then Venomous pulls back and stops.&#160 Korrioth, now on hands & knees from the agony, barely manages to look up at the Sith lord.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 Th…th…thank y…you…m’lord.

VENOMOUS:&#160 What are friends for?

[Venomous points at K’hadibak’h & McManx and snaps his fingers.&#160 The two immediately jump to Korrioth’s aid and help him to his station.]

…

Rush, I loves ya, man…but I have to keep this big lug pacified, y’know?&#160

As we hatch another Perfect Football Weekend&#153, I want to point your attention back to last week’s drubbing by OU on TCU.

The Sooners’ starting left tackle, Phil Loadholt, goes 6’8″, 337.&#160 (Yeah, and I’m Brad Pitt.)&#160 TCU’s Matt Panfil – who’s supposed&#160 to be our starting defensive end, but would be no more than a linebacker in a major&#160 college program – goes 6’2″, 242.

Soaking wet.

Patterson, you have&#160 to get bigger across the front.&#160 BYU & Utah are gonna run right over you if you don’t.

Fortunately (and here’s where we segue), they don’t have to worry about that this week, as San Diego State provides the perfect sacrificial lamb for our Tadpoles tomorrow night.&#160 They play us close out there, but the Aztecs’ only visit here was a 52-0 massacre back in ’06.&#160 I don’t expect a squash tomorrow, but I do&#160 expect a win.&#160 If Patterson has his team as focused as I think he will, it is not&#160 a good time to be San Diego State.

Top-ranked Oklahoma, meanwhile, celebrates its coronation as college football’s newest #1 team by going down to Waco and destroying Baylor.&#160 Weird thing about the Bears – they give up an average of 37 points last year, then go fire Guy Morriss and hire noted offensive&#160 mastermind Art Briles from the University of Outer Rim Houston.

KORRIOTH:&#160 I hope we have the sheilds to stop the glut of transphasic torpedoes Rayegun’s gonna try and hit you with.

VENOMOUS:&#160 He has to get the launchers un-waterlogged first.&#160 I think we’re okay for now.&#160

Also Saturday, Nebraska’s defense gets to find out whether or not any of Bo Pelini’s instruction has taken hold, as fourth-ranked Missouri and Heisman favorite Chase Daniel come to Lincoln to throw the ball all over the lot.&#160 Nebraska’s a 10&#189 home dog, so that should tell you something about their&#160 chances.

Sunday, Chad Ocho Cinco Ocho Stinko Ocho Psycho Johnson, Carson Palmer, T.J. Houshushushushushushu…

MERLIN:&#160 ADMIRAL!!!

…mandzadeh and the winless (thus far) Cincinnati Bengals bring their act to Texas Stadium to take on the C’boys.&#160 If the ‘Boys play excuse-me football like they did last week against the Foreskins, it’ll be a second straight loss.&#160 And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Lessee…hmmmm…I seem to be forgetting somebody…

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Heights.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ah.&#160 Thank you, T-Bone.

Friday night, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets take on the O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals.&#160 Wyatt thumped Polytechnic last week – but then, pretty much everyone thumps Polytechnic.&#160 Should be a win.

Oh, and UBuffalo’s off this week.

We’re back Monday with the recap, as usual.&#160 In the meantime, perhaps HDD will explain to us why Bucky is only a 2&#189 home dog to Ohio State…?