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First there was the “community organizer” for ACORN. Now that nutjob organization is being investigated in TWENTY-TWO states for voter fraud.

Heard anything about this in the MSM (aka Libtard Lapdog Goonsquad)?

What’s that? I can’t hear anything over the crickets.

And now a little gem of a discovery has been unearthed that “that one” was a card carrying member of the Chicago chapter of the “New Party” (aka Democratic Socialists of America). NewsBusters blog has the article here.

From the October 1996 Update of the DSA ‘New Party’:
“New Party members are busy knocking on doors, hammering down lawn signs, and phoning voters to support NP candidates this fall. Here are some of our key races…

Illinois: Three NP-members won Democratic primaries last Spring and face off against Republican opponents on election day: Danny Davis (U.S. House), Barack Obama (State Senate) and Patricia Martin (Cook County Judiciary).”

Yo Missouri, ya gonna come get me for that one? Bring it!!!!

But one snippet that is EXTREMELY enlightening with respects to ACORN is this one:

Barack Obama, victor in the 13th State Senate District, encouraged NPers to join in his task forces on Voter Education and Voter Registration.

Gee boys and girls, the writing was on the walls all the way back in 1996.

Need ANY MORE proof that B. Hussein Obami is really a SOCIALIST in a libtard suit then you’ll want to pay attention to the last section of the article, where this gem comes under inspection:

…The NP’s political strategy is to support progressive candidates in elections only if they have a concrete chance to “win”. This has resulted in a winning ratio of 77 of 110 elections. Candidates must be approved via a NP political committee. Once approved, candidates must sign a contract with the NP. The contract mandates that they must have a visible and active relationship with the NP.

The political entourage included Alderman Michael Chandler, William Delgado, chief of staff for State Rep Miguel del Valle, and spokespersons for State Sen. Alice Palmer, Sonya Sanchez, chief of staff for State Sen. Jesse Garcia, who is running for State Rep in Garcia’s District; and Barack Obama, chief of staff for State Sen. Alice Palmer. Obama is running for Palmer’s vacant seat.

Obambi is a socialist folks, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even “that one” himself.

Denizens, remember back in January I opined that what we needed to drop oil prices was a round of good ol’ liberal pessimism?

Not saying I told you guys so, but…I told you guys so.

WITY&#153???

(Hat tip, as usual to the beautiful & talented Michelle.)

How long have I told you, Denizens, that the libtard bastard cowards were too chickenshit to get in our faces?&#160 How long have I pointed out the fact that they’re nothing but limp-wristed pussies?

Here’s proof:&#160 They don’t have the balls to get in our faces down here in Texas, so they’re sending jackboots to do it for them.

A Lufkin woman received a surprise visit from the Secret Service last week because of a “death threat” comment she reportedly made about Sen. Barack Obama to a campaign volunteer asking for her support of the presidential candidate.

Two federal agents arrived at Jessica Hughes’ home Thursday to ask her if she said, “I will never support Obama and he will wind up dead on a hospital floor.”

Hughes said her words were deliberately twisted by a volunteer who was apparently unhappy Hughes was rude during a phone conversation the two had. The Lufkin mother, a Republican, said she received a call on her cell phone Wednesday from a woman with the Obama Volunteers of Texarkana.

“She asked if I was an Obama supporter, to which I replied, ‘No, I don’t support him. Your guy is a socialist who voted four times in the state Senate to let little babies die in hospital closets; I think you should find something better to do with your time.’ (And then) I hung up.”

They’re so fuckin’ needle-dicked that they won’t start la revolución&#160 that they’ve been promising, so they hide behind authority to accomplish their nefarious, twisted bullshit.

Just like the yellow-assed cowards they are.

Hey, Obambi-goons!&#160 I’m still waiting for you pussies to get in my face!&#160 Where the fuck are you?!?!

Asswipes.

Denizens, as we kick off…

[Venomous immediately snaps around to glare at Korrioth, Merlin, Ozy, K’hadibak’h and McManx – who have all taken the hint.]

…this edition of the Perfect Football Weekend&#153, we note with more than a little bit of trepidation that Adam “Pacman” Jones has once again been involved in a little dustup.

Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam Jones got into an altercation with one of his security guards at the Joule Hotel in downtown Dallas on Wednesday morning, according to Dallas Deputy Chief Vince Golbeck, who is a commander of the central patrol division.

Now, WFAA/Channel 8 is reporting that no one deigned to press any charges, so this might&#160 go away.

MERLIN:&#160 And you’ve got the body of a Greek god.&#160 (snort)

VENOMOUS:&#160 Well, I do&#160 have the body of a god, y’know.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Yeah.&#160 Buddha.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Damn straight.

ALL:&#160

This wouldn’t have anyone on pins & needles regarding the C’boy secondary…except Terrence Newman is now out with a sports hernia.

KORRIOTH:&#160 Ohhhhhh shit.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Tell me about it.

Hmmm.&#160 Wonder where Quincy “Toast” Butler is RightAboutNow&#153…

On to the PFW.&#160 My Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets get to play the North Side Steers tomorrow night.&#160 To give you an idea about the Steers…everyone, and I mean everyone, schedules North Side for Homecoming.

Now, Heights isn’t gonna have Homecoming on a Thursday – but you get the idea.&#160 This one will not be close.&#160 In fact, I am proclaiming a Guaranteed Win Night&#153 for Heights, whereupon I will be sorely pissed if the final margin ain’t at least 30.

Saturday, Gary Patterson’s Texas Christian Horned Frogs invade Colorado Springs Fort Collins, Colorado, for a tilt with the Colorado State Rams.&#160 ‘Sfunny – I always predict a CState win, and TCU always routs ’em.

Oh, well.&#160 Why not stick with a good thing?&#160 Gimme TCU and 18,000 points.&#160

Turner Gill’s UBuffalo Bulls are 1&#189-point favorites at home against Western Michigan, which means per the SpatulaLine&#153, any thing under a nine-point loss counts.&#160 But I think I like UB in this one.

Things don’t get any easier for the Nebraska Cornhuskers this weekend, as they have to travel to Lubbock to face seventh-ranked Texas Tech.&#160 Tech is a 20-point favorite, 21 if they have their own refs there, 30, if they also supply their own replay officials.

Sunday, the aforementioned C’boys are playing Dallas West, aka the Arizona Cardinals.&#160 The “Dallas West” refernce comes from the fact that, whenever the ‘Boys play in Arizona, they usually have more fans there than the Cards.&#160 Be interesting to see if that happens again.

But the marquee matchup of the weekend is in Dallas on Saturday at the Cotton Bowl, as Bob Stoopes’ top-ranked Oklahoma takes on fifth-ranked TU in the Red River Rivalry Shootout&#153

There.&#160 I said it.&#160 You PC-types can bite me.

The Shortdicks supposedly have a defense this year, but Sam Bradford’s still tearing everything & everyone up, so I expect the same thing to happen here, but we’ll see.

We’re back Monday for the recap.&#160 In the meantime, Bucky’s a 5&#189-point home dog to JoePa and Penn State and I have to ask HDD – is this Paterno’s last year?

Mark the date & time, Denizens.&#160 I’m actually in agreement with a libtard.

If this&#160 is true – and I have no reason to believe that it isn’t, despite the fact that it comes from the Associated (with terrorists) Press – I’m inclined to agree with Henry Waxman on this.

Less than a week after the federal government had to bail out American International Group Inc. (AIG), the company sent executives on a $440,000 retreat to a posh California resort, lawmakers investigating the company’s meltdown said Tuesday.

The tab included $23,380 worth of spa treatments for AIG employees at the coastal St. Regis resort south of Los Angeles even as the company tapped into an $85 billion loan from the government it needed to stave off bankruptcy.

The retreat didn’t include anyone from the financial products division that nearly drove AIG under, but lawmakers were still enraged over thousands of dollars spent on catered banquets, golf outings and visits to the resort’s spa and salon for executives of AIG’s main U.S. life insurance subsidiary.

“Average Americans are suffering economically. They’re losing their jobs, their homes and their health insurance,” House Oversight Committee Chairman Henry Waxman, D-Calif., scolded the company during a lengthy opening statement. “Yet less than one week after the taxpayers rescued AIG, company executives could be found wining and dining at one of the most exclusive resorts in the nation.”

Now, five’ll get you ten that AIG’s “leaders” are, in fact, Demoscum.&#160 Which would make Waxman’s angst ironic, if palatable.&#160 But if AIG execs are feasting on caviar & lobster tail after just having my tax money bail those bastards out, then rack & thumbscrew are too good for the mothers.

And you may quote me.

I see here where that Cupid Stunt&#153, Claire McCaskill, claims to have spit on an earpiece prior to giving same to Mitt Romney.

Memo to Claire McCuntmuffin:&#160 Tell me&#160 that, sweetie, and said earpiece is getting shoved right up your ass.

And I do&#160 mean that literally.

Bitch.

While the National Barack Channel’s Saturday Night Lickspittles&#160 were busy engaging in their latest round of Palin Derangement Syndrome, they were also&#160 lampooning the Demoscum for their complicity in Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, not to mention the new owner of the Demoscum, Georgie-Porgie Soros.&#160 A clip of the skit also appeared on their webpage.

That is to say, but for only a few hours.&#160 Then it mysteriously disappeared down the memory hole, very likely at the behest of the aforementioned Soros.

But then Michelle Malkin managed to get a copy of it, and she posted it.

Then Pat Dollard did likewise.

And then Misha got into the act.

Now it’s my&#160 turn.&#160

Come’n try to take it, Obama goons…&#160

UPDATE:&#160 Those of you who have Firefox probably won’t be able to see it.&#160 As soon as I have a free moment tonight, I’ll convert the .wmv file to Flash so everyone can view it.

Update the 2nd:&#160 Still having trouble with the conversion.&#160 Hang tight.

Update the Threeth:&#160 Okay, I give up.

Those of you who can’t see it, click here to download it.

(Hat tip:&#160 LC Sig94.)

We got cats sleeping with dogs, raining toasters, the sun rising in the West, pigs flying, the whole nine yards:&#160 A liberal finally gets it:

If a Bush-bashing, Republican-hating nincompoop like Alec Baldwin understands that Democrats are responsible for the current financial crisis, and is willing to say so on national television, why can’t America’s so-called “real” journalists?

Although it seems unlikely that Baldwin watches “The Factor,” it is awfully coincidental that roughly 24 hours after Fox News’s Bill O’Reilly tore Rep. Barney Frank (D-Mass.) apart for his role in propping up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the typically inept Baldwin, appearing on HBO’s “Real Time,” not only pointed fingers at Frank for the current crisis, but also blamed former President Clinton and fellow Democrats.

[…]

BALDWIN: I’m gonna rape you…The, the thing we have to remember, a friend of mine who is very close to the financial community in New York pointed out that Democrats have a lot of the responsibility for this as well. I mean, it was Clinton who killed the Glass-Steagall, and it happened under a Democratic president. Barney Frank and his committee, they, they kept propping up Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac saying everything’s fine, everything’s fine, everything’s good. And it was his job to know everything wasn’t fine. And Barney Frank let you down and let us down as well. And so, but I want to say there’s blame to go both ways. But I will say, I want to, I maybe keep beating this to death, but I still think anyone in this Congress who voted to add $140 billion to that bill, they should be ashamed of themselves. That is a disgrace. It’s a disgrace. This Congress is a disgrace, Democrat and Republican.

Remember, guys, this is the same Alec Baldwin who once threatened to leave the US if Bush got elected.

Damn.&#160 Just, damn.&#160

So help me Cthulu, I will never, ever&#160 badmouth Andy Dalton again.

Arlington Heights 27, OD Wyatt 20

at Texas Christian 41, San Diego State 7

#1 Oklahoma 49, at Baylor 17

at Nebraska 17, #4 Missouri 52

at Dallas 31, Cincinnati 22

Before we start the recap, I’m going to quote from Drew Davison’s writeup of the Abilene-Paschal game in the Fort Worth Startlegram:

State-ranked Abilene had little trouble scoring against Paschal as it gained 484 yards and scored 11 touchdowns, including four from running back/wide receiver Herschel Sims. The Eagles scored three touchdowns in a 39-second span of the first quarter to take a commanding 28-0 lead. Paschal struggled all night, not getting a first down until late in the first half. The Panthers avoided a shutout when Chris King made [a] 35-yard field goal in the fourth quarter.

The final score was…uh…81-3.&#160 (No, that’s not a typo.)&#160 Ouch.

Now.&#160 From Carlos Mendez’ writeup of Heights-Wyatt, also from the Startlegram:

Christian Stevens caught an 18-yard touchdown pass, and Bailey Shelton kicked a 27-yard field goal as Arlington Heights scored 10 points in the fourth quarter for a 13-7 victory against Wyatt at Farrington Field. Bailey also kicked a 26-yard field goal in the third quarter. Jordan Price’s interception set up the final field goal for Heights (4-2, 1-0) in the District 7-4A zone game. Wyatt fell to 1-5, 0-1.

…

There should be no worries in Huskerland today.&#160 Bo Pelini will&#160 lead Big Red back to its former greatness – and he’ll do it with defense, as he’s done it everywhere he’s gone.

That said, this one was ugly.&#160 Butt-effin’-ugly.

Chase Daniel threw three touchdown passes, Derrick Washington ran for 139 yards and scored three times and the fourth-ranked Tigers beat the overmatched Cornhuskers on Saturday night for their first win in Lincoln since 1978.

[…]

The 35-point defeat was the Huskers’ most lopsided home loss in 53 years and fifth-worst in Lincoln in the program’s 119-year history.

[…]

“I’m not used to losing. I’m not used to getting beat soundly. It’s my fault,” said first-year Nebraska coach Bo Pelini. “Damn right, yes, I’m embarrassed. I apologized to the team. I apologize to the state of Nebraska. I apologize to everyone associated with Nebraska football.

“It’s my responsibility. I was hired to do a job and I didn’t do the job tonight. Anything else need to be said?”

No, Coach, nothing more.&#160 We understand, and it’s okay.

See, Denizens, this is why I love this coach so much.&#160 The man takes losing as personally as I do – probably even moreso.&#160 Hell&#153 – if SMUT had hired this guy, who knows? I might even have put the Shitland Ponies in the PFW.

…

Fact is, Baylor probably should’ve hired him.&#160

This was over in the first quarter.&#160 (For that matter, pretty much all OU’s games this year have been over in the first quarter.)&#160 OU scored 28 points therein and never looked back.

Sam Bradford threw for 372 and two touchdowns on 23-31, and DeMarco Murray had 96 yards and a couple of scores of his own on the ground.&#160 Juaquin Iglesias caught six passes for 133 yards and a touchdown.

…

In the fourth quarter, Cincinnati kicked a field goal to trail by one, 17-16.&#160 At which point, they executed a perfect onside kick and recovered at their own 48.&#160 Three plays later, Tank Johnson made the play of the game, forcing a fumble from Chris Perry which Anthony Spencer recovered.&#160 Two plays after that, Romo hit a 57-yard crossing pattern to Owens and broke the game back open.

Other than that and a fortuitous deflection at the goal line off Miles Austin’s hands that landed in the arms of Patrick Crayton – which, for once, he didn’t drop – Romo had a terrible day, going only 14-23-176 with a pick & another lost fumble (although the three TD passes helped offset that some).&#160 Barber had only 84 yards on 23 carries, but Felix Jones got back into the act this week with 96 yards on 9 carries, aided by a 33-yard scamper around right end for a touchdown.

Secondary coverage was a bit better this week, but there was still too much pitch-and-catch from Carson Palmer to Johnson, Houshmandzadeh and Antonio Chatman, particularly on two TD passes where blown coverages had left Houshmandzadeh wide open.&#160 On the plus side, the defense finally got their first interception of the year.

By Greg Ellis.&#160

Did see a little more physicality, but it still needs to pick up.&#160 And with that increased physicality will come crisper play, I think.&#160 They’re still half-assing it a bit, and it’s gonna come back to bite ’em before too long.

…

Memo to self:&#160 Haul PFW Intelligence Director’s ass up here soonest – and keelhaul it.

Andy Dalton tweaked his knee during the OU game, and it wasn’t quite right by Saturday.&#160 And of course, PFW Intelligence failed to warn me.&#160 (Same jackasses who insisted I pick Tom Brady for my other fantasy league team.)

Hence, junior backup QB Marcus Jackson played the entire way – and while he got better as the game went along, early on he was horrid.

His first pass was a quick out – and he threw it behind the receiver.&#160 Ouch.

A few more bounce-ins, overthrows and off-the-marks had the crowd groaning a bit before he found senior tight end Shae Reagan for a 3-yard touchdown to make it 20-0.&#160 And although Jackson basically gave the Aztecs their only points of the night when he fumbled at his own 1, he played well enough against a team that might have well been a Division I-AA school.&#160 I mean, SFA gave us more of a fight than this.

Hopefully, however, Dalton’s knee is alright by next week.&#160 I have a feeling Colorado State won’t be as forgiving.

This week:&#160 4-1.&#160 Overall:&#160 26-6.

The PFW returns Thursday, when I proclaim a Guaranteed Win Night&#153 for one of the PFW teams.

(Hat tip Malkin, of course.)

Gee – I thought that the $850 billion with a b&#160 Crap Sandwich 2.0&#153 was supposed to calm&#160 the markets.

Guess not.

See what happens when government gets involved?

(Hat tips to Malkin, Active Rain and The Tax Foundation, which has a comprehensive list of all the earmarks.)

Bailing out banks that were stupid enough to gift-wrap loans to people who had no business taking them out – 700 billion&#160 (yes, that’s with a b) dollars.

Wooden arrows designed for use by children – 2 million dollars.

Clauses that allow auto tracks easier depreciation of their facilities – 100 million dollars

Rebates on excise taxes for rum producers in Puerto Rico & the Virgin Islands – 192 million dollars

Reduced tariffs for makers of wool fabric that use imported yarn – 148 million dollars

Tax breaks for Hollyweird – 478 million dollars

Tax breaks for the plaintiffs in the Exxon Valdez&#160 lawsuit, i.e. the enviro-nutjobbers and the limp-wristed green&#160 pussies – 49 million dollars

Destroying the American free enterprise economic system and getting to blame it on Republicans?&#160 Priceless.

As a public service, I present to you (below the fold) the House Repulicans who betrayed their party, their oath of office and the American people by voting for this execution of our economy.&#160 (And if anyone wants to send me a list of Senate RINOs who voted for this travesty, I’ll publish that, too.)

Alexander
Bachus
Barrett (SC)
Biggert
Blunt
Boehner
Bonner
Bono Mack
Boozman
Boustany
Brady (TX)
Brown (SC)
Buchanan
Calvert
Camp (MI)
Campbell (CA)
Cannon
Cantor
Castle
Coble
Cole (OK)
Conaway
Crenshaw
Cubin
Davis, Tom
Dent
Dreier
Ehlers
Emerson
Everett
Fallin
Ferguson
Fossella
Frelinghuysen
Gerlach
Gilchrest
Granger
Herger
Hobson
Hoekstra
Inglis (SC)
King (NY)
Kirk
Kline (MN)
Knollenberg
Kuhl (NY)
LaHood
Lewis (CA)
Lewis (KY)
Lungren, Daniel E.
McCrery
McHugh
McKeon
Miller, Gary
Myrick
Peterson (PA)
Pickering
Porter
Pryce (OH)
Putnam
Radanovich
Ramstad
Regula
Reynolds
Rogers (AL)
Rogers (KY)
Ros-Lehtinen
Ryan (WI)
Saxton
Schmidt
Sessions (Pete Sessions&#160 voted for this piece of shit?????)
Shadegg
Shays
Shuster
Simpson
Smith (TX)
Souder
Sullivan
Tancredo (Tom Tancredo&#160 voted for this piece of shit?!?!)
Terry
Thornberry
Tiberi
Upton
Walden (OR)
Walsh (NY)
Wamp
Weldon (FL)
Weller
Wilson (NM)
Wilson (SC)
Wolf

If any of these Congress-scum represent you, vote to get rid of them.&#160 They do not give a shit about you; they do not give a shit about the United States of America; all they give a shit about is keeping their power, and their perks, and bending over & grabbing the ankles for the Demoscum who are only too happy to sodomize them.

We need to throw them out.

The sooner, the better.

The Department of Instant Karma’s Gonna Get You&#153 has been pulling yeoman’s duty these last few weeks – and soon as this is all over, I’m putting them in for some much-needed shore leave.

DEPT OF IKGGY:&#160 YAY!!!!!!&#160

Anyway, they bring us this:

Item:&#160 When the Sarahcuda’s personal email was hacked, several (and I mean several) screenshots thereof made their way over here.&#160 (I don’t want to give these fuckwits the linkage, but I can’t find anyone else pointing to them, so…)&#160 They were not, and are not, terribly apologetic about any of it.

Item:&#160 G’AWK-AWK-AWK-ER has apparently run into a small spat of…er…financial difficuty, even though they claim&#160 that advertising…

is up 30% over a year ago.

[…]

You can guess the reason for these brutal measures: the recession.

Right.&#160 That would be the one that hasn’t happened yet, but that you dumb shits keep harbingering (harbingering?) about.

Ever hear of “self-fulfilling prophecies”, dumbass?

OTOH, it couldn’t happen to a nicer bunch of pussies.&#160

If I can get over the absolute rage I’m feeling right now towards John Cor-whore, Kay Bitchy Slutchinson and the rest of the motherfucking bastards in the House & Senate who voted for Crap Sandwich 2.0&#153, I’ll have something to say about it tomorrow.

For now…I’m willing to bet B. HUSSEIN!!!&#160 Obambi doesn’t want you to see this&#160 video, either:

Memo to those who will hear:&#160 Start stockpiling it, as much as you can, as quickly as you can.

[Scene:&#160 the bridge of Pegasus.&#160 All our players are at their normal posts, save for the science station.&#160 Darth Venomous is in his command chair, reading the Nossican response to the Realm&#153 purchase proposal.

Suddenly, the bridge doors whoosh&#160 open and Captain Korrioth rages in, eyes wide & teeth bared (think Gowron again) and ready to do someone a very nasty turn indeed.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 The @*%)!)%*@!!!! p’tahk!!!&#160 I will rip his throat out with my bare hands!!!!

[Most of the bridge crew dives for cover.&#160 His Rudeness&#153 simply leans back and arches an eyebrow.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Peace, Captain.&#160 What’s the problem?

KORRIOTH (eyes still wide & teeth still bared):&#160 THIS!!!!!

What was up with Joe Biden’s frozen forehead?

It’s his smile lines, too.

Ewww.

The HD broadcast of the debate made it all the more glaring. (And let me note that left-wing blogs have had plenty to say about HD highlighting John McCain’s appearance.) Go ahead and Google “Biden and Botox” in the blog search engine and you’ll see lots of other observations about it, too.

Commenter ddhinnyc: “As a frequent Botox addict, I can confirm this: Biden has not had his eyes done, but he has had his forehead botoxed, and he has had bad hair plugs.”

VENOMOUS:&#160 Yeah, actually, this is pretty funny.&#160 So what’s the…

KORRIOTH:&#160 LIMBAUGH CALLED HIM A KLINGON!!!!!

[The rest of the bridge crew try to hide even harder.]

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ah.&#160 I see your point.&#160 But he’s one of us, and we need him, so let’s let it pass, hm?

KORRIOTH:&#160 How dare&#160 Limbaugh compare that honorless targ-shit to our people?!?!?!&#160 AND THEN HE PUTS HIM NEXT TO MY FATHER!!!!!

VENOMOUS:&#160 I know, I know.&#160 Here, lemme make it up to you.

[Venomous extends his hands, and purple Force-lightning envelops Korrioth.&#160 The Klingon-Vulcan hybrid howls in pain – or something else, perhaps?

The lightning continues for 30 more seconds, then Venomous pulls back and stops.&#160 Korrioth, now on hands & knees from the agony, barely manages to look up at the Sith lord.]

KORRIOTH:&#160 Th…th…thank y…you…m’lord.

VENOMOUS:&#160 What are friends for?

[Venomous points at K’hadibak’h & McManx and snaps his fingers.&#160 The two immediately jump to Korrioth’s aid and help him to his station.]

…

Rush, I loves ya, man…but I have to keep this big lug pacified, y’know?&#160

As we hatch another Perfect Football Weekend&#153, I want to point your attention back to last week’s drubbing by OU on TCU.

The Sooners’ starting left tackle, Phil Loadholt, goes 6’8″, 337.&#160 (Yeah, and I’m Brad Pitt.)&#160 TCU’s Matt Panfil – who’s supposed&#160 to be our starting defensive end, but would be no more than a linebacker in a major&#160 college program – goes 6’2″, 242.

Soaking wet.

Patterson, you have&#160 to get bigger across the front.&#160 BYU & Utah are gonna run right over you if you don’t.

Fortunately (and here’s where we segue), they don’t have to worry about that this week, as San Diego State provides the perfect sacrificial lamb for our Tadpoles tomorrow night.&#160 They play us close out there, but the Aztecs’ only visit here was a 52-0 massacre back in ’06.&#160 I don’t expect a squash tomorrow, but I do&#160 expect a win.&#160 If Patterson has his team as focused as I think he will, it is not&#160 a good time to be San Diego State.

Top-ranked Oklahoma, meanwhile, celebrates its coronation as college football’s newest #1 team by going down to Waco and destroying Baylor.&#160 Weird thing about the Bears – they give up an average of 37 points last year, then go fire Guy Morriss and hire noted offensive&#160 mastermind Art Briles from the University of Outer Rim Houston.

KORRIOTH:&#160 I hope we have the sheilds to stop the glut of transphasic torpedoes Rayegun’s gonna try and hit you with.

VENOMOUS:&#160 He has to get the launchers un-waterlogged first.&#160 I think we’re okay for now.&#160

Also Saturday, Nebraska’s defense gets to find out whether or not any of Bo Pelini’s instruction has taken hold, as fourth-ranked Missouri and Heisman favorite Chase Daniel come to Lincoln to throw the ball all over the lot.&#160 Nebraska’s a 10&#189 home dog, so that should tell you something about their&#160 chances.

Sunday, Chad Ocho Cinco Ocho Stinko Ocho Psycho Johnson, Carson Palmer, T.J. Houshushushushushushu…

MERLIN:&#160 ADMIRAL!!!

…mandzadeh and the winless (thus far) Cincinnati Bengals bring their act to Texas Stadium to take on the C’boys.&#160 If the ‘Boys play excuse-me football like they did last week against the Foreskins, it’ll be a second straight loss.&#160 And that’s all I’ve got to say about that.

Lessee…hmmmm…I seem to be forgetting somebody…

T-BONE MCMANX:&#160 Heights.

VENOMOUS:&#160 Ah.&#160 Thank you, T-Bone.

Friday night, my Arlington Heights Yellow Jackets take on the O.D. Wyatt Chaparrals.&#160 Wyatt thumped Polytechnic last week – but then, pretty much everyone thumps Polytechnic.&#160 Should be a win.

Oh, and UBuffalo’s off this week.

We’re back Monday with the recap, as usual.&#160 In the meantime, perhaps HDD will explain to us why Bucky is only a 2&#189 home dog to Ohio State…?